SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
As a young boy, Billy was given the unfortunate gift of witnessing his parents murdered by a mean old Santa Clause. Needless to say, christmas will never be the same for him. As a teen, the disturbed Billy dresses up as Santa and goes on a holiday killing spree before returning to the orphanage he grew up in. The inventive deaths and quirky towns people make this a must see during the Christmas season.
A fun remake that creates some great new moments, while still paying the original its respect. Silent Night featured wonderful camera work and solid acting. Malcolm McDowell steals the show with great one liners and facial expressions that will leave you laughing at times and wanting more. The wood chipper scene is one of my favorites of the year!
An all-time classic in the slasher genre, Black Christmas really brings out the creepy as a group of sorority sisters are terrorized in their own house. A demented killer lurks closely to the girls and makes a few phone calls that will make your skin crawl. With the killers voice, cinematography, and great deaths found here, the sad remake had nothing on the original.
SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT
Whereas “Black Christmas” features calls coming from a killer that’s hiding inside the house already, “Silent Night, Bloody Night” deals with the murderer calling each of the people that they intend to take vengeance on one by one, inviting them to the property. Fearful that their secret may be discovered (a pretty disturbing one at that, which I will not reveal for those who may have not seen it or would like to), they each visit the old dark house that they hate so much and long to destroy forever.
Elves is about an elaborate plot cooked up by the Nazis to breed a superhuman by having a teenage virgin who is the product of incest mate with a weird-looking, killer elf. Which there is only one of; there are no elves in Elves. Just one shitty elf puppet in a Santa hat who can barely open and close its mouth. It’s kind of a bad plan on the Nazis’ part, and takes forever. One of the soldiers has to have a daughter, wait until she’s breeding age, then rape her and get her pregnant, to produce the child of incest. Which, if they’re trying to create superhumans, I’m fairly certain incestuous reproduction is not the secret to stronger, more evolutionarily developed stock.