Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Slaughter” (2009)

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with another slasher review. This time he is taking on one of the After Dark Horror Collection titles, “Slaughter.” I tried watching this flick a few years ago and for whatever reason, I just couldn’t get through it. Let’s see if Tim has the same reaction or if its a title that deserves another chance.

Thoughts before the film:
Not too sure what #Slaughter is about, but it’s one of the few movies from the third After Dark Horrorfest that I haven’t seen yet.

Thoughts while watching:
0:05 If your characters are gonna be younger than 21 at least make them look young and not 30 year olds…
0:11 A whore farm girl, what.
0:19 Number one way to pick up a girl: go to an opera.
0:31 This jimmy guy is creepy. She finds him in her house naked with blood all over him?
0:32 Oh I lied. It was a dream.
0:35 There’s at least one inbred moron in every movie I watch.
0:33 Whoever did the killings is back because they like it it. How did this not win the Oscar?
0:35 The sandbox scene… How is that even possible?
0:39 Pigs is a recurring theme in #Slaughter.
0:49 This bar is poppin’. A whole three people!
0:50 So far, not anything horror related has happened.
0:57 How can dozens of cars fit in that pond!?
1:00 See, you can never trust any redneck inbred.
1:05 No no no not the teeth don’t mess with her teeth.
1:05 If I have nightmares about my teeth now I’m gonna be upset.
1:08 Enough teeth stuff already! Please!
1:27 You’re nothing more than a cheap whore.

Overall:
#Slaughter was your typical ‘hostage girl’ movie I guess you could call it with a few different but good twists. Also had pretty decent acting.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Return to Horror High” (1987)

In 1987 a little horror comedy featuring a then unknown actor named George Clooney was released upon unsuspecting movie audiences. The film was titled “Return to Horror High” and it was a commercial and critic flop. Barely grossing a million dollars before it was yanked from the theaters, the film didn’t do much to set itself apart besides one wicked cover box. Today our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling takes on the horror comedy to see if this film works at horror, comedy, or neither.

Thoughts before the film:
I love this DVD art way too much. First time I tried to watch #ReturnToHorrorHigh, I couldn’t finish it cause I thought it was so bad. My taste in movies since then have changed WAY too much so maybe I’ll like it this time!

Thoughts while watching:
0:01 Great music right off the bat! The 80’s rock.
0:12 I find it hilarious George Clooney was in this movie.
0:17 That is one hot lady cop.
0:23 Is George’s role already over with…?
0:25 If that guy were to pick up a girl like that now he’d be in jail for like 75 years.
0:28 Shlort!
0:33 Whoever did the killings is back because they like it it. How did this not win the Oscar?
0:35 The sandbox scene… How is that even possible?
0:41 Every time they show the cop and the detective, I get confused. The cop is creepin me out.
0:44 This movie is 99% boobs.
0:52 I don’t know if I should be following the movie or the movie within the movie…
1:04 This is really bothering me that it’s going back and forth from movie, movie within the movie, and dream.
1:13 The sandbox thing makes no sense even after they showed what was underneath it!
1:25 …….wat.

Overall:
I honestly don’t know what to think of #ReturnToHorrorHigh right now. The dozens of plot twists, and going back and forth from real world, movie within the movie, dreams and flashbacks took anything good away.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “My Bloody Valentine” (1981)

To end this beautiful sunny weekend we have a brand new review from our resident twitter reviewer Tim Schilling. Today Tim is getting out his pike ax to take a stab at the original 1981 cult classic “My Bloody Valentine.” Butchered by censors and critics and ignored by audiences, the Canadian slasher has grown quite the cult following throughout the years. But, is it a cut above the rest or is it a slasher that deserves to be forgotten? Let’s cut open this bloody heart and find out.

Thoughts before the film:
I’ve never seen the original #MyBloodyValentine. I have seen the remake though and I actually liked it quite a bit

Thoughts while watching:
0:01 Who gets frisky in a mine shaft!?
0:04 Don’t drop the soap.
0:06 This hillbilly music reminds me of Two Thousand Maniacs.
0:08 The guy who was dancing with the cutout and said “this is my date”…. me.
0:17 Oh Harry Wardon, you sly guy you.
0:25 This town sure does like valentine’s day…
0:27 I wonder if that’s what you really look like if you were to get stuck in a dryer.
0:27 Or, better question, how did the filmmakers know that’s how someone would look like!?
0:37 What a grumpy bartender.
0:50 Those are the nastiest looking hotdogs ever.
0:58 This mine shaft must have magic powers cause everyone who goes in it, ends up fucking. Or, at least trying to.
1:10 Oh, I didn’t know Barbra from NOTLD was in this. (someone please get this)
1:20 At least the police showed up while the killer is still around and not the second after he dies/runs away.
1:20 Not that they can do anything to help anyways. I mean, they’re the police and it’s a horror film. They’re useless!
1:27 Those last lines were really creepy… Beeee my bloody valentineeee.

Overall:
Not too sure why I liked #MyBloodyValentine. The plot was meh but the filmmakers made a meh plot into something entertaining & actually good.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Review: “Bride of Chucky” (1998)

After a bit of a break from the “Child’s Play” series our twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with a review for the slasher comedy sequel “Bride of Chucky.” Tim loved the first three installments giving them 4 Teddy Heads each will this one live up to the rest? Let’s play with Chucky!

Thoughts before the film:
Finishing up the Child’s Play series, starting with #BrideOfChucky. Only movie in the series I haven’t seen yet.

Thoughts while watching:
0:04 I wonder how the car got in the building…
0:07 What. Katherine Heigl is in this. What.
0:10 Voodoo for dummies, why do I think that’s an actual book?
0:11 Sick lip… chain dude.
0:21 At least Chucky is honest when you ask him something.
0:30 Too much Chucky in this one. Less Chucky = better.
0:41 What would Martha Stewart do?
0:45 It’s just weed shut up.
1:08 I see what you did there Chucky! “It’ll take 3 or 4 sequels.”
1:11 Martha Stewart is a reccurring theme in this movie.
1:19 When Chucky and Tiffany kiss, it just weirds me out.
1:22 The world at this point should believe that Chucky actually was the killer and everything.
1:24 She just gave birth on that guy’s face, can’t say I’ve seen that before.

Overall:
Besides losing Andy & the campy feel, #BrideOfChucky is another great entry in the series. It kept continuity & didnt jump the shark anytime.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios