Category: *Slasher Tweet Review

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003)

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Today we bring you a brand new slasher review from our one and only twitter reviewer Tim Schilling. In the first review we bring you today, Tim will be looking at “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake. The film received mixed reviews but was a huge commercial success making over $80 million on a $10 million budget. Let’s see nine years later how well this remake holds up to the original classic.

Thoughts before the film:
The original #TexasChainsawMassacre is one of my favorite horror movies. I love the whole series too(3 is the only one I haven’t seen yet).

Thoughts while watching:
0:02 I liked the way they introduced the movie. Very different.
0:07 I want this guy’s van. They’re too freaking cool.
0:16 This old lady ain’t calling the cops.
0:22 That possum had to of been mutant or something.
0:26 This house was definitely a slave house in the past, no question.
0:31 I want pet pigs in my house! Wait I lied.
0:32 No other movie in this series could ever top seeing Leatherface for the first time like they did in the original
0:41 Oh no… Teeth. If I have nightmares about my teeth remember, I will sue.
0:45 Leatherface doesn’t give a crap about the house in every movie. It just gets destroyed all the time.
0:46 The car doesn’t start. Typical.
0:54 There weren’t any bullets in the gun, typical!
1:00 Holy crap, Leatherface is really creepy in this one when he changed faces.
1:01 At least he’s not a screeching transvestite anymore.
1:20 Going to a meat factory in a horror movie is just asking to die.
1:25 Leatherface gets messed up in this movie.
1:28 What’s with people not being able to explain what happened to them? A guy chased me with a chainsaw. Easy.

Final Verdict:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake) wasn’t that bad I don’t think. By the end it got repetitive, but I thought it was a different but good take on the simple story of the original.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “House of 1000 Corpses” (2003)

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Rob Zombie has always been one of my favorite “new” filmmakers (especially considering that he has only made four films). “The Devil’s Rejects” and his “Halloween” remakes rank as a few of the horror high points of the last decade. Still, I’ve never been able to warm up to the grisly “House of 1000 Corpses.” Possibly I need to give it a new watch from a fresh perspective. Today, our twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is taking another look at the film that started Zombie’s filmmaking career.

Thoughts before the film:
This will be my second viewing of #HouseOf1000Corpses. I haven’t seen it in a few years, but I think it’ll hold up.

Thoughts while watching:
0:01 It just tastes so damn good! Bawkabawkabaaaawk!
0:06 I actually really like the song House of 1000 Corpses. I had it on repeat after I first saw the movie.
0:09 Sid Haig is really freaking scary in this movie. Even though he was ‘just kidding.’
0:15 Where can I take this tour!?i If only it was real.
0:25 Zombie’s movies are shot different than a lot of movies. But also shot great. I wanna know where he got that from.
0:40 3/4 of Zombie’s movies take place on Halloween.
0:44 These cutaway scenes they’re doing when they show the other characters in that grainy like film is great.
0:51 Those people were like waiting under the blankets for that girl… are they gonna eat her!?
0:52 Geez he just answered the question wrong, you don’t gotta chop his head off for it!
0:58 No one in this family brushes their teeth. Grossssss.
1:00 The scene when they’re killing the cops. Pretty freaking great.
1:03 That is one creepy sex shop.
1:03 Bill Moseley is kinda similar to his character in TCM2 but not as crazy. He was just nuts in that one.
1:06 The music when they’re walking to see dr. Satan is so creepy and good!
1:10 This movie in general reminds me of TCM a lot actually.

Final Verdict:
I think #HouseOf1000Corpses is a modern horror classic. It pays homage to tons of older movies while still being very different. It was also shot GREAT, and had good music. I still wish Zombie would do more features more often.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” (1994)

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I’ve never quite understood the hatred towards “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.” It’s wonderfully dark, featuring early turns by both Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger, and features a nice amount of bloody goodness. Nonetheless, it has turned into the black sheep of Chainsaw family among most horror fans. Does it deserve another look? Tim Schilling is back with a brand new tweet by tweet review to find out.

Thoughts before the film:
The last time I saw this movie, I got screamed at by my dad to turn it off. I never got to finish it. But remember liking it for some reason…

Thoughts while watching:

0:06 Lol @ Renee Zellweger.
0:09 You get into TWO accidents like 5 minutes from each other and you care about getting a little scar?
0:12 The girl who was driving the car is possible one of the worst actresses I have ever seen.
0:15 Damn rednecks.
0:19 I wonder how many times this flashlight is gonna go out?
0:28 They’re trying to recreate scenes from the original movie… It’s not working.
0:34 Matthew Mcidontknowhowtospellit is actually kinda good in this movie. I never thought I would say that about him.
0:40 Why would you jump on a power line!?
0:46 I wanna go to a drive through pizza place.
0:57 This movie is hardly about Leatherface. He’s just crying in the background 99% of the time.
1:08 Every time I watch a TCM movie I think grandpa is dead and they keep the body. But then he gets up & walks around.
1:14 … random spinoffs to cash in if this movie worked.
1:19 Leatherface is just a screeching transvestite in this movie. It’s kinda hilarious.

Final Verdict:
(I know for a fact that I’m alone on this, but) I’m really not sure why I like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Next Generation. The movie was a good throwback I think to the horror comedies made in the 80’s. It also had decent acting from some of the people. If it wasn’t part of the TCM series I think people would have liked it more.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Rob Zombie’s Halloween” (2007)

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I’ve often felt that Rob Zombie’s remake of “Halloween” is the cream of the crop when it comes to horror remakes. He was both faithful to the original while giving the material his own innovative twist. Today we have our Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling with his take on the misunderstood remake. Will he be a fan of this remake or feel as though this is one film that should have been left alone?

Thoughts before the film:
Giving this movie a second chance. The first time I saw it I hardly payed attention. #Halloween

Thoughts while watching:

0:02 Wait that’s a lie. I saw this again recently. The beginning makes me so sad.
0:05 This is the last movie I would think the kid from Spy Kids would be in.
0:07 One thing I LOVE about Zombie’s version is that he shows Michael as a kid, and why he turns into a killer.
0:12 For only making like 4 movies, Zombie sure is pretty stylish.
0:19 Good, kinda glad you’re dead Robbie.
0:27 Hi, I’m Michael Myers!
0:29 I totally forgot the uncle from Spy Kids was in this movie!
0:30 Black is a color. Shut up dr. Loomis.
0:42 Dr. Loomis is a drama queen.
0:49 Not sure how I feel about Michael killing the Spy Kids guy, if he didn’t it would show he still had a nice side.
0:49 But since he did it shows he’s a crazy lunatic who kills people who even helped him.
0:53 Obligatory black guy death.
1:07 Sid Haig runs a graveyard in this too? What if this is in the same world as NOTLD 3D? HAH.
1:08 I wanna party in a haunted house.
1:17 Zombie’s Halloween mask > Carpenter’s Halloween mask.
1:27 Danielle Harris is pretty damn hot.
1:46 Gah I hate the eye gouge thing. It’s painful to even watch.

Final Verdict:
Complain all you want about remakes, but Zombie makes a great looking movie no matter what. Besides the movie looking awesome, you can’t really compare it to the original. The movies are completely different and each does their own thing that makes BOTH of the #Halloween movies good. I think Zombie’s will be remembered as much as the original eventually.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Exorcist II: The Heretic” (1977)

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I have made it clear on many occasions that I am not a big fan of the supernatural subgenre of horror movies. While they can be done well, too often they resort to boring cliches (a door slamming a much of times just isn’t scary to me). That being said, “The Exorcist” is an undisputed classic of the “possession” subgenre, rightly so. The sequel, “Exorcist II: The Heretic”, not so much. Today our Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling takes a look at the black sheep of the exorcism family.

Thoughts before the film:
Gonna be honest: I like The Exorcist, but I don’t like it as much as everyone else seems too. And people aren’t too keen on #Exorcist2 so…

Thoughts while watching:

0:03 Good thing I spent 4 years learning Spanish so I could understand nothing when someone actually speaks it.
0:10 I’m not religious at all, but movies like this that mess with religion always creep me out.
0:18 This scene with the flashing light thing is pretty freaking creepy.
0:21 Holy fuck. Demon Reagan in the glass.
0:32 Reagan grew up very… nicely.
0:36 The music in this is pretty damn creepy, I think it’s perfect.
0:41 Oh no not the flashing light thing again!
0:45 Pazuzu you and your creepy screams/chants are freaky as fuck, don’t give me nightmares.
0:52 “what’s the matter with you?” “Oh, I was possessed by a demon!”
1:07 I saw Scary Movie way before this so I always think of that scene when she’s peeing everywhere when they play this song.
1:30 I feel like this hypnotizing machine thing was just a bunch of peoples’ ideas in one just for this movie.
1:39 The taxi driver was like, lol bitch why u wanna go to that demon place!?
1:48 Trying to wrap my head around this whole story…

Final Verdict:
Everyone who said The Exorcist 2 was terrible is a hater. The story was great, it mixed so well with the first movie. I’m not a fan of these types of movies usually but I really liked this one. Also: awesome music.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: Resurrection” (2002)

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About a month ago, we posted a scathing review of Halloween: Resurrection from one of our horror reviewers, Joshua Dean. He gave the film zero Teddys and declared it to be one of the worst horror movies he has ever seen and an insult to the entire franchise. Today our resident twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is going to share his take on film with a brand new tweet by tweet review. Let’s see if he has a similar reaction…

Thoughts before the film:
Last Halloween movie I own and then I get to move on to something else, hurry up! #HalloweenResurrection

Thoughts while watching:

0:04 That was the lamest way to have Michael survive the last movie. Such a cop out.
0:15 Such a terrible way to have Laurie finally get killed off.
0:29 Don’t act ever again Tyra.
0:40 I like how they abandoned the characters they created in the last movie.
0:41 What kind of set doesn’t have someone at the doors to keep people from walking in?
1:01 Did these people seriously think they were in a house that wasn’t rigged or anything?
1:05 I don’t understand, how hard is it to jump out a window?
1:19 Trick or treat mother fucker!
1:25 I am in complete shock that he was alive at the end! No way.

Final Verdict:
#HalloweenResurrection was a boring story that was probably written in a day. Kind of glad that they did a remake instead of another sequel.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: H20” (1998)

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Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back attacking the “Halloween” franchise with a brand new review of “Halloween: H20.” The most successful of the “Halloween” sequels making $75 million worldwide on a budget of just $18 million, the film was the marked return of Jamie Lee Curtis to the series. The film received solid reviews in its original release but many have felt it hasn’t withstood the test of time. Let’s dig in and see if Michael is as sharp as ever or if his blade has become dull.

Thoughts before the film:
Halloween H20 is probably the movie I remember the least from the series. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing!

Thoughts while watching:

0:02 I had no idea Joseph Gordon levitt was in this movie! Awesome.
0:11 Michelle Williams too? How come I never knew all these people were in this movie?
0:20 Why do girls ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom?
0:32 That’s pretty messed up of Michael Myers to ruin the best day holiday for Laurie.
0:33 What’s Michael waiting for? 20 years to pass so they have a name for this movie.
0:38 Having your mom as one of your teachers must be pretty weird.
0:52 This movie is so freaking cliche, every single line.
0:54 I thought everyone knew Laurie was from the murders and stuff… Why is this guy acting so shocked?
0:56 No, no you will not be right back. Haven’t you ever seen Scream?
0:59 Told you you weren’t gonna be back!
1:04 This score is definitely taken from another movie, but I can’t for the life of me think of what one.
1:05 I kinda liked the way Michael and Laurie saw each other for the first time in 20 years. Simple but it worked.
1:11 Honestly, if you were to cut off Michael’s arm with an axe, what would happen?
1:20 So she cut off his head… I wonder how they’ll explain that one.

Final Verdict:
Halloween H20 was one of the most cliched movie I’ve ever seen. That being said, I thought that the story was actually decent, besides the fact that Michael comes back after 20 years out of no where with no explanation whatsoever

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers” (1995)

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Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is starting the weekend with a return to Haddonfield and a look at one of the black sheeps of the Halloween series, “The Curse of Michael Myers.” Released in 1995 to some of the worst reviews in years, the film was a disappointment for both fans as well as Dimension which had recently picked up the rights to the series. Starring a young Paul Rudd, how does the film hold up 17 years later? Get out your knives kiddies and get ready to dig in.

Thoughts before the film:
I’ve seen all the movies in this series at some point, but I’ve never sat down and actually watched any of the later sequels. Over time these movies just blended together cause I saw them when I was younger, half hiding my face under the blanket! #Halloween6

Thoughts while watching:

0:05 They like remixed the theme song for this one. I’m not feelin it.
0:09 I probably should have watched Halloween 4 & 5 before this so it would have made more sense.
0:10 Lol @ Paul Rudd! He’s so young in this.
0:23 I can’t wait until this fat guy dies. Michael better kill him.
0:28 He finds a kid in the bathroom… A true prom night dumpster baby?
0:31 Only in America you get security called on you when you ask for a doctor to see your baby.
0:38 OH MAN. The scene when Michael is in his house again, this scare the shit outta me as a kid. I remember this perfectly.
0:45 |> I made the thorn.
0:49 I don’t know if it’s my DVD or the actual movie, but the audio sounds TERRIBLE at some parts.
1:04 You watched her die from across the street! Why even bother checking if she’s still alive?
1:07 You aren’t Michael Myers, you can’t just jump outta the window and survive like that.
1:08 Those people in the black with the masks and stuff, I’m not even gonna question why they came up.
1:17 Holy flashing lights. You’re gonna give me a seizure.
1:23 Michael bleeds green… Alright.
1:23 Rip Donald Pleasence! I didn’t know they dedicated the movie to him.

Final Verdict:
I liked Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers mainly for the nostalgia feeling it gave me of being so scared so much of a movie as a kid……but for the movie itself, kind of all over the place. I didn’t care for the characters or story much at all. But! Still entertaining.

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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid” (2011)

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Is there anyone out there would DOESN”T love a good-bad creature feature? How about a good-bad creature feature on syfy? The cable channel that spawns nearly a dozen bad B-movies a year starring C-list talent has been making money of this subgenre for years. Today we have for you creature feature fans a brand new tweet by tweet review for one of the highest rated creature features in Syfy’s history! 80’s pop queens Tiffany and Debbie Gibson battles it out while our tweeter reviewer Tim Schilling takes notes.

Thoughts before the film:
I get home from making a short film this weekend and this is the first thing I watch. A bad influence maybe? #MegaPythonVsGatoroid

Thoughts while watching:

0:02 Who is Tiffany anyways and why does she think she’s famous enough to not use her last name?
0:06 I feel like Syfy uses the same house in every movie…
0:09 I would love to see animatronics/puppets any day over CGI.
0:12 I get it! The two stars of this movie had one hit song 3 decades ago so now theyre trying to reinvent themselves.
0:15 Ooo! Somebody had bitch for breakfast!
0:20 Really? Even the eggs are animated? They don’t even move!
0:26 No, the blood on your face was on the other side in the last scene.
0:33 Give me the illegal chemicals to use for myself,cause if you don’t I’ll arrest you for having illegal chemicals.
0:35 If it’s supposed to be nighttime why do I see the sun through the trees!?
0:37 This character is Mexican and his theme song thing is that Egyptian song lololol
0:48 I’ll feel bad if I keep criticizing this movie like I am…
0:53 Yeah, this girl’s phone is upside down. You’re not taking to anyone using it that way.
0:59 The scene when these two girls fight is the best. So freaking corny.
1:04 I think… We’re alone now. I wanna know who wrote this and give them the award for most obviously line.
1:08 I wanna know if The Asylum intentionally makes their movies with countless errors or if they don’t even care.
1:10 I’m gonna guess the ending now: a baby python and crocodile survive and swim towards a city.
1:21 So where are these so called mega python and gatoroid?
1:27 This should have been called a few big pythons vs kinda big alligators.

Final Verdict:
#MegaPythonVsGatoroid was obviously corny as hell, but fun to watch. Even with the mistakes that basically slap you in the face.

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To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Storm of the Century” (1999)

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Stephen King has definitely had his share of hits and misses when it comes to film adaptations of his work. In the 90’s during King’s peak, you could expect a brand new made-for-tv miniseries based on one of his books at least once a year. Today our Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with another tweet by tweet review of “Storm of the Century.” The miniseries received mixed reviews from critics but was an audience favorite. The real question…how well does it hold up 15 years later?

Thoughts before the film:
When I saw this movie as a kid, I wanted to hide in my bedroom for the rest of my life.

Thoughts while watching:

DISC ONE
0:02 Just remembered I bought that screenplay book thing they released for this movie, I could totally follow along.
0:07 Born in sin, come on in!
0:12 Haha what! I didn’t know spencer Breslin (or whatever it is) is in this movie.
0:20 I’ve always wanted to live on a little island like this, not many people, one small road of where everything is.
0:30 They need to name this killer guy already so you can understand who I’m talking about and not sound stupid.
0:33 His name’s Andre… Alright.
0:40 This movie reminds me a lot of 30 Days of Night. Anyone else ever got that feeling?
0:48 This movie makes so much more sense now that im older….
0:50 So what Andre is saying, is that this island is full of sluts and potheads!
1:00 I love the exterior shots in this movie, the snow is so menacing!
1:07 Give me what I want, and I’ll go away.
1:18 I hate when Andre’s eyes go all black, it’s so creepy.
1:39 Tell us what you want already so you can go away!
1:43 I think the reason my parents let me watch this when I was younger is cause I wouldn’t understand any of it.
1:49 Oh crap, when Andre was talking to this girl I didnt know it was about an abortion, I thought she got a boob job..
1:58 No old lady you didn’t hear anything, you probably need to go to Walgreens and get new hearing aid batteries.
2:05 Is there a reason why she’s singing the little teapot song or are they doing it just to try to be creepy?
2:11 Oh I get it, the little teapot song is the song of… DEATH!

DISC TWO
0:02 I know this is a miniseries and all, but a lot of this stuff is very repetitive.
0:21 Wait, so people actually watch those tv channels where people just preach to you?
0:35 The scariest part of this movie is when Andre is calling Ralphie or whatever over to the closet.
0:36 I guess it wasn’t as scary as I remember…. I was a wimp when I was younger apparently.
0:40 Okay. We get it. Give him what he wants and he’ll go away.
0:46 There’s something about you that pisses me off!
0:57 Pippa’s got some sass!
1:07 I’d never wanna live on an island with these people, they’re all so messed up!
1:13 This demon guy is the worst, telling everyones’ deepest secret in front of the whole town.
1:16 I have a feeling Stephen King has read Dante’s Inferno quite a few times.
1:30 I lied about wanting to live on a small island like this, these people are fucked up.
1:52 I don’t blame mike for leaving Molly and the island, I wouldn’t stay there with those messed up people either.
2:01 Oh man that ending…

Final Verdict:
#StormOfTheCentury is still one of my favorite Stephen King films. I LOVE the story, even though it got repetitive after a while. The last half hour of it is the best, it’s so sad, creepy, and satisfying at the same time.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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