Jason Vs. Carrie: “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood” Review

Slasher StudiosFriday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

“Jason Lives”, although one of the better entries into the “Friday the 13th” series, was definitely not the moneymaker that Paramount was used it. The film grossed $19 million at the box office (against a $3 million budget) and it was the first film in the series not to debut at number one. Clearly, the film was just a cash cow for Paramount but something needed to be done to fix the series. Something that would bring in a new audience, a “New Blood”. In comes Carrie…urgh, I mean Tina to battle Jason for one last time? Haha…far from it.

Tina Shepard is a special girl. She has the gift of telekinesis (which allows her to manipulate objects by thought). But her gift is also a curse, mainly because she caused the death of her father on the docks of Crystal Lake. Now, Tina has returned home with her caring mother and her conniving doctor, who wants to exploit Tina’s powers and become famous. But the teenage residents of Crystal Lake have something more to fear than Tina’s powers as she accidentally frees Jason Voorhees from his watery grave. And Jason’s really in the mood for a good ol’ teenage massacre.

“The New Blood” is everything that a “Friday the 13th” sequel should be. It has some creative deaths (gotta love that sleeping bag death) and a meaner than ever Jason played by the great Kane Hodder. The reason why it really works though? It’s fucking Jason meets Carrie with a tour-de-force performance by Lar Park Lincoln as Tina. This movie just works from beginning (a six movie montage narrated by Crazy Ralph, yes please!) to end (the final showdown between Tina and Jason is the most suspenseful the series has been since Part 2). It’s just a damn fun movie. I still wish it hadn’t been raped by the MPAA (all of the death scenes are cut) and if the final reveal (Tina’s dad) wasn’t as lame. Still a damn good sequel.

To buy on Amazon: Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood (Deluxe Edition)

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Best of the Worst: Top 10 Worst Horror Movies

Slasher Studios*Top Ten

These are our top 10 favorite bad horror movies. Movies to sit down with a couple of friends to watch with many, many beers in hand. Not a single one of these movies even approach watchability status any other way.

Listen to our webcast in which we discuss our picks: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/slasherstudios/2011/06/27/slasher-studios-present-the-worst-of-the-worst-horror-movies

10. Masters of Horror: Pro-Life
Pro-Life, directed by John Carpenter, written by Drew McWeeny & Scott Swan, tells the story of a young girl trapped inside a clinic, who discovers the only thing more dangerous than her pursuers is the demonic secret that she carries within her. A girl pregnant with the devil’s baby who wants to get an abortion? It’s even more ridiculous than it sounds. Ohh…and the effects for the devil costume, AWFUL!

9. Troll 2
A young child is terrified to discover that a planned family trip is to be haunted by vile plant-eating monsters out of his worst nightmare. His attempt to save his beloved family is assisted by the specter of his deceased grandfather. Also, there are NO trolls in this movie, only goblins. Nilbog is Goblin spelled backwards! This movie is retched from beginning to end but damn is it fun to quote.

8. Slugs: The Movie
People are dying mysteriously and gruesomely, and nobody has a clue what the cause is. Only health worker Mike Brady has a possible solution, but his theory of killer slugs is laughed at by the authorities. Only when the body count begins to rise and a slug expert from England begins snooping around does it begin to look like Mike had the right idea after all. This movie fails because slugs are not, and have never been, scary. Gross? Yes. Scary? No. Hilariously bad?…Yes.

7. Jack Frost
Serial killer is genetically mutated in car wreck on the way to his execution. After which, he becomes a murdering snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him. Shannon Elizabeth’s “carrot” scene is the highlight for this film which doesn’t say much. Terrible Fx as well (was the snowman’s costume made out of Styrofoam?).

6. The Gingerdead Man
An evil yet adorable Gingerbread man comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer – this real life cookie monster wreaks havoc on the girl who sent the killer to the electric chair. Gary Busey as a killer gingerbread man cooking attacking teens in a bakery? Yes please!

5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the Next Generation
A group of prom-going teens take a fatal detour into the Texas woods and get into an accidental car crash. Stranded with no place to go, they seek help in Darla, a seemingly innocent insurance agent whose office is located near by. After Darla calls for help, they set out back to the scene of the crash, and are found and terrorized by Leatherface, his crazy brother, Vilmer, and are taken to an old farmhouse where they meet the rest of the cannibalistic clan.

4. Pieces
While playing with a puzzle, a teenager is repressed by his mother, and he kills her and severs her body with an ax. Forty years later, in an university campus in Boston, a serial killer kills young women and severs their bodies in parts, stealing body pieces from each student. Lt. Bracken makes a deal with the dean of the campus, and infiltrates the agent Mary Riggs as if she were a tennis teacher and together with the student Kendall, they try to find the identity of the killer. BASTARD! BAAAAAAAAAASSSTTARD!

3. Slaughter High
A group of popular students play a cruel prank on a shy nerd resulting in a terrible accident. Years later a reunion is held where each of the students face a stalker killer who may be the same nerd out for revenge. Hilariously over-the-top with some of the worst acting you’ve ever seen. Also, what is up with the ending? No clue what they were thinking there.

2. The Nail Gun Massacre
Following the brutal rape of a young woman by a gang of construction workers, a mysterious figure wearing a motorcycle helmet and driving a gold hearse begins hunting the perpetrators down. The masked avenger’s weapon of choice, obviously, is a nail gun, with which he (or could it be she?) takes out the rapists one by one. Just who is this murderous vigilante? Nail Gun Massacre is one of the so-awful-it’s-great delights, and only adds to the surreal joy in that the intentional humor is often so bad that it just makes the movie that much more funny. Words can not be found to describe the “acting” in this film. Fans of bad horror take it all in, this film is just about as bad as it can get.

1. The Last Slumber Party
From United Entertainment/VCI, the VERY small 1988 distributor in Oklahoma, who gave us the legendary home video, no budget hit BLOOD LAKE, which IMDb doesn’t even have in its database and that doesn’t surprise me. That one had the same no-budget atmosphere and completely unknown teen actors that, like in this film, only starred in one film. Sample dialogue: `I’m loaded and I feel like throwing up, could you please pass the Jack Daniels?’ `There’s a party tonight at my house, would you mind if I invite myself?’ `I THINK he’s schizophrenic, why don’t we give him a partial lobotomy?’ And the science teacher that looked exactly like one of the science teachers that I had in high school. And he started talking about how he got laid at the prom. Oh my God.
(Info from horror7777 from imdb for Last Slumber Party, I personally could find NOTHING on this film)

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“Dig him up? Does he think I’m a fart-head?”

Slasher StudiosFriday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

First of all, I want to apologize to my dear horror readers out there, all three of them. I started reviewing the Friday the 13th series last month and for some reason I just randomly stopped at Part 5. “Where’s the love for the rest of the series?” you may ask. Well the love is starting once again tonight with my review of the sixth installment of the series that just won’t die, Jason Lives. Gone is the pseudo-Jason from New Beginning and in is a different kind of Jason. Jason as a zombie? Does it work or should Jason have been left dying in his grave?

Tommy is back, out of the institution and a quest. His quest is to finally put an end to the Camp Crystal Lake murders once and for all. He is back to finally kill off Jason. Oh yeah…like that worked so well in Parts 4 and 5…Tommy decides to return to the grave to make sure Jason is dead and, wouldn’t you know it, accidentally brings him back to life. Now it’s up to Tommy to stop Jason’s mindless killing and put him back where he belongs.

“Jason Lives” is a very strange entry into the Friday the 13th saga. There is hardly any blood, no nudity (Friday the 13th first?) and the film plays the deaths more for laughs than it does for scares. The film works because it realizes that Jason is no longer scary, so why not just make fun of the whole situation? It is the first Friday movie to even get a little “meta”. Example, before the caretaker is about to die he has a heart to heart with his liquor bottle, “Darling, you’re going to be the death of me. But what a lovely way to go, huh?” Of course, he tosses the bottle behind him and Jason catches it and stabs him with it. The humor doesn’t always work (the paintball scene is painful to watch) but effort is appreciated. As it stands, it’s definitely one of the better entries in the series.

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Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Snowboarding: “Cold Prey” Review

Slasher StudiosCold Prey

Foreign horror films are a rare breed. The kind of wild pack of dog that completely divides most horror fans. There are the horror fans that absolutely despise them. “What….you mean I have to read the whole thing?!?” is usually the typical response from this group of horror fans. There are other horror fans that feel as though foreign horror adds something new and fresh that most American horror films do not. By watching these foreign horror (and, in my cases, foreign horror alone) they feel as if they may be superior to the average horror fan. Granted these two groups are the extremes and represent a small minority of horror fans but which side is right? Well, as it turns out, neither.

Films like “Inside” and “Martyrs” dare to do something new with the genre by adding issues of abortion and religion into their plots. But, there are just as many crappy horror films that are foreign as there are bad American horror films. So what does this long diatribe really have to do with our movie of the night? Well, it’s foreign and it’s horror and this is just something I’ve wanted to get out of my system. Do we all feel better now?

Well my movie of the night is the “Cold Prey”, a solid if unremarkable Norwegian horror film that teeters the line between clever and redundant. The plot is relatively simple. Jannicke, Morten Tobias, Eirik, Mikael and Ingunn are on a snowboarding vacation in Jotunheimen. They are forced to take shelter in an abandoned hotel when Morten Tobias breaks his leg and their car is too far away for them to reach within nightfall. They quickly discover that the hotel was closed in the seventies due to the disappearance of the managers’ son. They find that they are trapped in the hotel with a psychopath killer, and they have to protect themselves and hopefully survive.

Is the psychopath the missing manager’s son? Will he pick them off one by one with the trusty slasher staple of a weapon, the pickaxe? Can you count on one hand the number of fake “jump” scenes that really don’t make anyone except the characters jump? Big yawn. There just isn’t enough surprises or clever twists and turns here for those who like suspense. And there’s hardly enough gore for those who like their horror films extra raw and bloody. Everything here is in place for a really great horror movie. The acting is a cut above most horror movies, the cinematography is quite striking and the direction is lean and first rate. Sadly all of the good will put together to make this project a success is let down by a weak script. This isn’t a bad film but it sure as hell isn’t anything special. I was expecting a steak and got a 99 cent hamburger. Go in expecting that hamburger and there is a good chance that you may enjoy it more than I did. I hope so.

As a final note, this review was done in part for the wonderful Final Girl herself, Stacie Ponder. You can check out her blog and her “Final Girl Film Club” here.

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I Want to Make a Horror Movie!

Slasher Studios*Horror

The following is a list of guidelines that one should look at when trying to make a successful horror movie. I thought this was a pretty solid list with a lot of good ideas for independent horror filmmakers. The following list is a combination of Mary Hallberg’s list from the Hattiesburg Horror Movie Examiner and Screen Crave.com for the second half of the list. A big thank you to both websites for sharing! While the list does seem basic, I do think that this is going to help out some filmmakers working on their first scripts. Are there any others that you feel is missing from the list?

*Have interesting characters. Movies (and stories in general) are about people, not events. Sure, picking stupid teenagers off one by one works, but only for awhile. If you want to do something revolutionary in modern filmmaking, convince your audience to actually (gasp) care about the characters.

The interesting characters rule does not apply to villains. When introducing us to the villain, less is more. Did he suffer a terrible childhood filled with abuse and poverty? Leave it out. The less your audience knows about the villain, the less likely they are to sympathize with them. Sympathy isn’t very scary.

*Create suspense. Even if you plan to show the monster in the end, make the audience wait for it. Sometimes not seeing something is even creepier than actually seeing it.

*Don’t stress about budget. Some of the most well-known horror films have been low budget sleeper hits. Unless you’re remaking Lord of the Rings, you can make do with a smaller budget. See: Insidious, Saw, Paranormal Activity, The Blair Witch Project, John Carpenter’s Halloween

*Don’t take your movie too seriously. Some of the best horror movies are the ones that try to be scary but end up being campy. You’re in the business of entertainment and if you’re not entertained yourself, your audience probably won’t be either. Have fun with it! Plenty of people would kill to be in your position. Well, not literally.

*Have a great score. A good horror movie isn’t a good horror movie without a good original score. We’re talking about music that adds depth of feeling, and by depth of feeling we of course mean depth of terror in this case. Classic horror movies like Halloween and Jaws wouldn’t have had near the effect that they did without their music being every bit as scary as what was happening on camera. Sadly, the art of making an original score for a horror movie is being lost as the years go by and the trends change.

*An unstoppable killer. Horror movie killers/slashers must be remorseless. They generally can’t feel sorry for anybody. A killer who feels sorrow humanizes himself, and leaves the audience open to empathize with him, take pity on him, and possibly even understand him. And as we know, the more we understand something, the less we fear it. You want to tell a story about a guy who goes on a murder rampage to avenge the death of his wife? Fine, go for it. But don’t expect people to be frightened by a guy who’s simply standing up for his wife. You want to tell a story about a guy who goes on a murder rampage because his dead grandmother came to him in a dream and ordered him to do so with a sling blade? Now that’s a tad bit creepier.

*Fear. A good horror film takes common fears, exploits them, and acts upon them. So what do people fear? Easy. They fear the dark—create visual imagery that’s ill-defined and shadowy. They fear the unknown—keep certain psychological and physical components hidden. They fear death—keep the body count unpredictable as to who might be next. Knowing what people are afraid of isn’t rocket science, and fears aren’t always rational. Would we have a horror movie (Stephen King’s It) with an alien killer dressed as a clown if a lot of people weren’t at least a little afraid of clowns?

*Blood and gore! Above all, people must die in a horror movie. Remember what we said about exploiting the universal fear of death? And as far as dying goes, a horror movie doesn’t necessarily have to be gory, or gratuitously violent, but a little blood must be split in order to remind the audience that the shit is real, and the stakes are as high as they can be. A character vanishing out of thin air is out of sight, out of mind. We might know he’s dead, but as long as we don’t see him hanging from a tree with his guts spilling out, some part of our brain is still subconsciously suggesting to us that there’s a chance he’s just chilling on a beach in Maui or something.

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Slasher Studios’ Top 10 Holiday Horror

Slasher Studios*Top Ten

10. Leprechaun
As one of the classic films in the horror genre, Leprechaun, by default, must find a place as one of the all-time greats within the holiday horror sub-genre. Our killer is a weird, creepy and very comical Leprechaun who has been trapped in a lonely basement. When he is finally able to escape, well, you can guess what happens next. And being introduced to us for the first time on the big screen, is the pre-nose job Jennifer Aniston. Although she publicly despises the role, she was great as the young and very likeable, Tory Redding. With Leprechaun spawning multiple sequels and having a strong fan base, don’t count out the possibility of a remake coming in the near future to cash in on it’s cult following.

9. Thankskilling
OK so this movie isn’t great…and honestly it’s not even good, and that’s kinda the point. It’s a low budget, 85 minute film ($3,500) about a turkey killing off a group of teens during their Thanksgiving break. So grab some friends and a few beers because with the amateur acting, the bad effects and a crazy turkey, you’ll be in for a fun night.

8. April Fool’s Day
In the 1980′s, if there was a holiday, there was a horror movie. Christmas got “Silent Night, Deadly Night” and “Black Christmas”, prom got “Prom Night”, birthdays got “Happy Birthday to Me”, Graduation Day got…umm…”Graduation Day”, New Years Eve got “New Years Evil”, and Halloween got…umm….”Halloween”. Okay, so creativity was never a strong suit of the slasher genre. My favorite slasher holiday guilty pleasure will be the one I’ll be watching in less than 12 hours. “April Fools Day”. Seriously, this movie has everything. Amy Steel from “Friday the 13th: Part 2″? Check! Deborah Foreman from the criminally underrated “Waxwork”. Check! The overgrown bully from “Back to the Future”? Check! A surprise twist ending? Double check! The plot is quite simple. A group of eight college friends (each more annoying than the next) gather together at an island mansion belonging to heiress Muffy St. John to celebrate their final year of school. They soon discover that each has a hidden secret from their past which is revealed, and soon after, they turn up dead. Yet, are they really dead? Or is it just part of some very real and cruel April Fool’s jokes? The hostess, Muffy, is the only one who apparently knows what’s going on. But then again, is it really her doing the killing? Take a break this April Fools from tricking your friends and treat them with this fine 80′s slasher.

7. Trick r Treat
This is one of the best horror films to be released in the past few years. The cinematography within this movie is breathtaking. From the warm glow of the Halloween block party to the dark and eerie swamp, any frame in this film could be stand alone as a photo on your wall. With outstanding acting, an amazing soundtrack, a screenplay to die for and what very well could be, if marketed right, then next great horror icon: Sam. If you haven’t yet seen this film, you are missing out on a great piece of art. So go ahead, treat yourself.

6. Gremlins
Keep it away from direct light, never to allow it to have contact with water and, above all, never feed it after midnight. These rules have been sewn into popular culture since Gremlins was released in 1984. Unique in the way that it is a horror movie that was marketed toward kids. It a story about a father who buys a little furry creature who requires much more responsibility then anyone has the patients for. Produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Joe Dante, this film is a must see around Christmas time if you need to get away from the holiday chaos that we all know too well.

5. Happy Birthday to Me
One of the better murder mysteries whodunits from the early 1980’s. Virginia is proud that she belongs to a clique. The best students at a private school. But before her 18th birthday, a grueling set of murders take place and her friends are the ones who are falling prey. Could it be her? She suffers from blackouts due to a freak accident one year earlier. We soon learn the truth behind her accident and what is going on. Great twist ending with a lot of really fun deaths.

4. My Bloody Valentine (1981, 2009)
There’s a big valentine-party planned in the little coal mining town of Valentine Bluffs, Nova Scotia. It is the first Valentine’s Day party in 20 years, because then there was an accident in the mine, and the accident happened because the men responsible for the security was at the party. The sole surviving miner, named Harry Warden, later killed them, and told the town NEVER to arrange a Valentine’s Day party again. The party begins, and so does the killing. Both versions of this film are a lot of fun with the 2009 version really amping up the gore. The murder mystery element is by far the weakest part of both plots but the ending is a rarity in the horror world.

3. Halloween (1978, 2009)
15 years ago, 6 year old Michael Myers brutally killed his older sister. The silent child was incarcerated in the Smith’s Grove Sanitarium under the care of psychiatrist Sam Loomis. The town of Haddonfield had slowly began to forget the tragic crime, until Loomis returned to the town to warn of Myers escape from Smith’s Grove. With Michael set on killing a group of high school students, Loomis seeks the help of the hesitant town sheriff to stop him before it’s too late. I am one of the few horror fans out there that prefer Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” to John Carpenter’s “Halloween”. I know, it’s blasphemy and I will go down in horror hell for saying such a thing. But I personally love the back story that Zombie gave Michael and feel as though everything about the film (from the acting to the directing to use of music) is just about perfect. To ignore the seminal classic would be an outrageous as well so I’m including it as well.

2. Silent Night Deadly Night
The ULTIMATE killer Santa movie and where would Christmas be without a deranged, batshit crazy Santa? After his parents are murdered by a scalpel-wielding Santa, a young boy is sent to an orphanage. He ends up spying on two people having sex, and learns sex is a very naughty thing. A few years later, in a little, old fashioned department store, the kid is given the ultimate job: SANTA CLAUS. After seeing two people having sex in the storage room, he has flashbacks of his parents’ murder, and ends up killing them both. He then sets off on a massive killing spree. Can he be stopped? Or will Santa deliver new presents to all the little kids? This film is a hell of a lot of fun and the protests behind the film only add to the enjoyment.

1. Black Christmas (1974)
Forget about the 2006 version, THIS movie is where the terror really started. It’s time for Christmas break, and the sorority sisters make plans for the holiday, but the strange anonymous phone calls are beginning to put them on edge. When Clare disappears, they contact the police, who don’t express much concern. Meanwhile Jess is planning to get an abortion, but boyfriend Peter is very much against it. The police finally begin to get concerned when a 13-year-old girl is found dead in the park. They set up a wiretap to the sorority house, but will they be in time to prevent a sorority girl attrition problem? This film is scary as hell with some great atmosphere and excellent performances.

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Three Horror Films Scare Up 2012 Release Dates

Slasher Studios*Horror

2012 is shaping up to be one of the most “horrific” years in recent member. There are currently 11 horror films with release dates sometime next year. Bloody Disgusting reported today that three more will also be added to the list. Moving from it’s previous February 3 release date, Relativity Media’s House at the End of the Street is now set to bow on April 20. The Mark Tonderai helmed film, which centers on a teen girl (Jennifer Lawrence) who moves with her mom to a new town and learns that their home is across the street from a house where a double murder took place, will now go head to head with Dimension’s Scary Movie 5.

Scary Movie 5 has been rumored to be in preproduction since mid 2006, after its predecessor took in a solid $91 million at the U.S. box office. The Weinstein Company has announced that the next chapter in the Scary Movie franchise will be released in theaters on April 20, 2012. With the series beginning back in 2000 and Scary Movie 4 being released five years ago, a solid fan base will be excited to see what the filmmakers have in store for number 5. With a long list of possible horror movies to spoof in this upcoming film, Scary Movie 5 has much potential. No word yet on casting, but fingers are crossed for the return of Anna Faris and Regina Hall. The two actors have been in all four previous films and have become the faces of the franchise.

Speaking of films stuck in development hell, looks like Dimension is fast-tracking Halloween 3D with a release date of October 26 (finally a Halloween film around Halloween!). Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer are currently working on the Hellraiser reboot for the Weinsteins. There is no word whether or not they are still on board to make this film as well.

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Josh’s Holiday Horror Picks

Slasher Studios*Top Ten

We had our fellow slasher fan Josh give us his top 10 holiday horror movies. Thanks Josh for your list and for being a guest reviewer here on Slasher Studios. We will have our own list coming very soon so make sure to keep an eye out for it.

1. Black Christmas – 1974 – “Let me lick your pretty piggy cunt!” A group of sorority sisters are getting ready for their Christmas vacation when they start receiving startling phone calls and some of their sister’s start disappearing. Definitely one of the best and first slasher films of all time.

2. Halloween – 1978 – A psychotic murderer institutionalized since childhood escapes on a mindless rampage while his doctor chases him through the streets. A classic.

3. April Fool’s Day – 1986 – “Nice? It’s gotta be better than nice. It’s gotta be bloody unforgettable” A group of friends stay at a secluded mansion and start to learn dark secrets about each other, until one by one they start dying. A fun twist ending.

4. Trick r Treat – 2007 – Poison, Drowning, Claw, Or Knife. So Many Ways To Take A Life.

5. Child’s Play – 1988 – “Hi, I’m Chucky. Wanna play?” Little Andy gets a Good-guy doll for his birthday, little does he know a serial killer has put his soul Into the doll. Soon after Chucky learns he has to transfer his soul Into the first person he told he is a real person & Chucky wants to play with Andy for keeps.

6. Bloody Birthday – 1981 – In 1970, three children are born at the height of a total eclipse. Due to the sun and moon blocking Saturn, which controls emotions, they have become heartless killers ten years later, and are able to escape detection because of their youthful and innocent facades. A boy and his teenage sister become endangered when they stumble onto the bloody truth.

7. Valentine – 2001 – Four Friends start to receive morbid valentine day cards. Someone out there is stalking them….someone they all spurned when they were younger. And Valentines Day 2001 is the Day she/he gets their revenge.
　
8. My Bloody Valentine – 1981 – “Sarah, be My Bloody Valentine” On Valentine’s Day 20 years ago there was a big mining accident where many men were caved in, one survivor, Harry Warden, goes kills the trapped men. The town of Valentine Bluffs was warned to never celebrate Valentine’s Day again, but when the town finally decides to heave the tragedy in the past it comes back to haunt them.

9. Silent Night, Deadly Night – 1984 – There may have been killer Santas before it, but no doubt “Silent Night, Deadly Night” is the killer Santa movie you remember. It’s iconic, a little spooky, and it’s better if you forget all the sequels.

10. Happy Birthday to Me – 1981 – Virginia is proud that she belongs to a clique. The best students at a private school. But before her 18th birthday, a grueling set of murders take place and her friends are the ones who are falling prey. Could it be her? She suffers from blackouts due to a freak accident one year earlier. We soon learn the truth behind her accident and what is going on.

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