Horror Director of the Week: Ti West

Slasher Studios*Horror Director of the Week

Ti West studied film production at the prestigious School of Visual Arts in New York City. Acclaimed filmmaker and teacher Kelly Reichardt introduced him to underground horror icon Larry Fessenden who immediately struck an interest in West¹s student films. In 2005, Fessenden produced West¹s first feature film THE ROOST which premiered at the SXSW Film Festival and was sold in a mid-six-figure deal to Showtime and Vitagraph Films. In 2006 West and Fessenden re-teamed to produce the micro-budget thriller TRIGGER MAN which was acquired by the art-house label KINO INERNATIONAL. Also in 2007 West was offered to continue Eli Roth¹s successful CABIN FEVER franchise for Lions Gate Films. Immediately following CABIN FEVER 2 (a movie that Slasher Studios quite loves but Ti has since disowned(, West started production on the superbly suspenseful THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL which world premiered at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival and was released theatrically by MAGNOLIA PICTURES and has been hailed by critics as One of the best horror films of the decade. He recently finished an original web-series for the Independent Film Channel called DEAD & LONELY and is currently touring the festival circuit with his newest feature film THE INNKEEPERS. Ti is also starring in the upcoming horror film YOU’RE NEXT from LIONSGATE.

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Slasher Studios: Top 5 Worst Horror Movies of 2011

Slasher Studios*Top Ten

Let’s face it, 2011 will not go down as a superb year for horror. The two highest grossing horror movies of the year were pale ripoffs of better creations. My two favorite horror films of the year couldn’t even make back their production budget at the U.S. To make matters worse, not a single slasher film broke out into the mainstream. All in all, a pretty lackluster year for horror films. The following is the Slasher Studios five WORST films of the year. We tried to pick films that had a chance to be successful, were given the resources needed to make a good film, and proceeded to fuck it all up. For shame.

5. Fright Night (2011)
What doesn’t work about this movie? Well, aside from a few stylish touches…pretty much everything. Gone is the old, charming horror host Peter Vincent and in is a Midori chugging whorish magician. Ugh. Gone is the beautiful shot and exciting club scene in which Jerry seduces Charley’s girlfriend Amy (it’s here, but the less said about the “new” version of this scene the better). Gone is Jerry’s homoerotic relationship with his best “friend”/roommate. Hell, that character isn’t even IN this film. What’s added? Awful CGI (Amy’s vampire scene with Charley is incredibly lame and doesn’t look half as good as it did in the TWENTY FIVE year old original) and a final battle scene that belongs more to “Underworld” than it does to the “Fright Night” legacy. That being said, It’s worth a rental at least. The movie wasn’t so much bad as it was incredibly disappointing. I felt there was so much more they could have done with the premise. What a waste.

4. Wrong Turn 4
“Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings” is all sorts of lame. Bad CGI, atrocious acting, and thoroughly unlikable characters are just the start of this film’s problems. When will filmmakers realize that when we don’t like their characters, we don’t care who lives and who dies. When we don’t care, the movie is robbed of any and all suspense. Speaking of suspense, it is fairly obvious that ****SPOILER ALERT*** all of our “teen” characters die and all three hillbillies live as we know they were around for the “first” installment. This is just lazy filmmaking all around with some effects that have to be seen to be believed and no I don’t mean that as a compliment. Any turn away from the cover box at your local video store is a turn in the right direction.

3. Insidious
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again…PG-13 horror movies are dull, boring, and predictable (“Drag Me to Hell” is the sole highlight from the last decade of PG-13 horror). Poor Lin Shaye and Rose Byrne, they deserve much better material than what they are given to work with here. “Insidious” offers no thrills, has inane plotting, and the final twist ending is so preposterous that it has to be seen to be believed. Don’t, however, watch this movie based on that last remark. You’ll be sorry later.

2. Shark Night 3D
“Shark Night 3D” is everything that a horror movie shouldn’t be. It’s PG-13, it’s loaded from beginning to end with grating pop/R&B songs, its 3D looks like shit, and the characters are so cookie cutter boring that you won’t care who lives or who dies. I would say that you want them all to be shark bait but once you’ve seen one awful shark attack in this film, you’ll feel like you’ve seen them all. Add to this a ridiculous third act twist that makes little sense (seriously, watch the movie and tell me how it is even POSSIBLE for the redneck hillbillies to do what they did) and some of the most implausible events I’ve ever seen in a movie and you’ve got one of the worst movies of the year. Though, truth be told, it is comforting to know that if someone loses an arm in a giant lake, you can easily find it in dirty water by swimming out from your lake without a mask or goggles. After this, while locating said lost arm, you can also spot a bloodthirsty shark. When you see said shark, you can out swim it even though it can overtake a speeding boat with someone skiing behind. Did that just make your brain hurt? Ugh. Join the club. Last year’s “Piranha 3D” was dumb, harmless fun. This movie doesn’t deserve a theatrical run, hell it doesn’t even deserve to be played on Syfy.

1. Paranormal Activity 3
Hmmm…where to start with the problems of this film:
* Sometimes there is a time stamp on the camera, sometimes there isn’t.
* Who is editing the jump cuts when there is no “flash forward” in time?
* Who was changing the tapes in the middle of the night?
* Why is the camera looking over at the parents bed when it is staring straight at the mirror?
* Why didn’t the babysitter say what had happened to her to the parents?
* Why didn’t the Randy show them his cut after he was attacked by “Toby”?
* Why was Toby never mentioned in the first two installments?
* Why didn’t Dennis show Julie the tapes before going into the stupid speech about the witches?
* Was the final scene (witches in black robes?) really meant to be taken seriously?
* Didn’t the video quality appear to be awfully good (and in HD even!!) for something that had been 25 years old and sitting in storage?
* Also did the witches edit the tapes together themselves?
Just an awful mess all around.

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Slasher Studios Unwraps “Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker”

Slasher StudiosSilent Night Deadly Night 5

Ohh the joys of the “Silent Night, Deadly Night” series. One of the few horror franchises that never really hit the mainstream but, of course, that didn’t stop them from making four (fairly unrelated) sequels. While many horror purists believe that the first one is the only “good” entry in the series, I have always had a bit of a fondness for the joys and the awfulness of the fifth installment: “Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker.”

A sequel by name only, “The Toymaker” is one of the strangest sequels I’ve ever seen. A young boy sees his father killed by a toy that was anonymously delivered to his house. After that, he is too traumatized to speak, and his mother must deal with both him and the loss of her husband. Meanwhile, a toy maker named Joe Peto (a name that is just too funny to be unintentionally hilarious) builds some suspicious-looking toys, and a mysterious man creeps around both the toy store and the boy’s house…but who is responsible for the killer toys? The twist at the end needs to be seen to be believed (shades of “Sleepaway Camp”), “The Toymaker” is fun with a capital F. I can’t in all honesty say this is a “good” film but I can say that you’ve never seen anything like it. Besides who DOESN’T want to see a horror movie version of Pinocchio?

Have yourself a bloody merry Christmas and give “Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker” a chance. It is 80’s horror at its cheesy finest. Yes, yes I know this movie was made in 1991 but I refuse to believe that. The early 90’s was a time of horror blandness and this is anything but. I can’t say that this movie is for everyone but it doesn’t deserve the reputation it has received. Have a few drinks and enjoy!

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Remembering “USA’s Saturday Nightmares”

Slasher Studios*80's Slasher Throwback

As I grow older, I feel sometimes as if I am the last slasher fan left that remembers “USA’s Saturday Nightmares.” Growing up, it was the ultimate Saturday night experience for the up-and-coming slasher fan. “USA Saturday Nightmares” was an unhosted show on the USA Network in the 1980s and early 1990s. The show came on at 8:00 p.m. every Saturday night. They showed a lot of B Horror and Slashers Films from the 1980’s. Most of the movies shown also appeared on Commander USA’s Groovie Movies and USA Sci-Fi Theater. After airing the movie they showed episodes of “The New Alfred Hitchcock Presents”, “The Hitchhiker”, and “The Ray Bradbury Theater.”

The most famous intro to the series had you going through a CGI haunted house (in the early days of CGI) where the paintings changed. It started outside the house and moved inward. The first painting went from Frankenstein, Dracula, The Phantom of the Opera, Mr. Hyde, and The Wolfman. The second painting changed between “The Brood”, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger. The last part of the intro showed a movie screen and the voice over would welcome you. The most famous of the voiceovers came rom Alan Kalter of “Late Show with David Letterman” fame. “Saturday Nightmares” also had bumpers that featured scenes from B horror films as well as scenes from old episodes of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents.”

Let us take a moment and remember the lost early of the 80’s slasher movie and 80’s slasher television. USA, you used to be so cool Brewster.

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Dario Argento’s “Dracula 3D” Hilariously Awful Trailer Leaked

Slasher Studios*Horror

The trailer of horror legend Dario Argento’s “Dracula 3D” was released today. The trailer is…ummm…well, let’s not beat around the bush here; the thing looks godawful. Granted the effects are not completely finished and there is still some work left to be done in postproduction but this thing looks hilariously bad. Of course, that means I can’t wait to see it.

Dracula 3D stars Asia Argento as Lucy, Thomas Kretschmann as Dracula, Marta Gastini as Mina, and Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing. Miguel Angel Silvestre and Miriam Giovanelli also star.

Synopsis:
TRANSYLVANIA, 1893.

One night in the woods adjacent to Passo Borgo, at the foot of the Carpazi mountains, a couple of young lovers, Tania and Milos, secretly meet. On her way home, Tania is chased and overcome by a “dark shadow” that kills her. In those days Jonathan Harker, a young librarian, arrives at the village hired by Count Dracula, a nobleman from the area. Tania’s body mysteriously disappears from the cemetery. In the meantime Harker, before going to Count Dracula’s castle, takes the opportunity to visit Lucy Kisslinger, his wife Mina’s best friend as well as the daughter of the local mayor.

Upon arriving at the castle, Harker is greeted by Tania, brought back to life from the dead and made vampire, who tries from the very beginning to seduce him; however, they are interrupted by Dracula’s entrance welcoming Harker. The following night Tania tries again to bite Harker; she is close to his neck when she is stopped by the count, who gets the upper hand, and it is he himself who bites Harker’s neck, however allowing him to live. The following day, weakened but still conscious, Harker attempts to escape, but as soon as he is outside the castle, a large wolf with a white lock assaults and savagely kills him.

Meanwhile, Mina, Harker’s wife, arrives in the village and is guest for a few days at the home of her dearest friend Lucy Kisslinger, who will also be bitten and vampirized. The day after, Mina, worried about her husband, goes to Count Dracula’s castle.

Their encounter makes her forget the reason for her presence there. She is completely under the count’s influence; the count had orchestrated the events leading up to their encounter; in fact Mina looks exactly like his beloved Dolinger, who died some centuries ago. Upon her return to the Kisslinger house, Mina learns of the death of her dear friend Lucy.

The sequence of such strange and dramatic events summons the aid of Van Helsing, vampire expert of the techniques used to eliminate them. Van Helsing, aware of the circumstances, decides to act swiftly and prepares the tools needed to combat vampires. He directs himself to the center of evil, Count Dracula’s castle.

Meanwhile Dracula, in the village, kills the inhabitants who rescinded their pact, while Van Helsing, inside the castle, is able to definitively eliminate Tania. Dracula, intent on his desire to reunite with his beloved wife, leads Mina, completely hypnotized, to the castle where Van Helsing is waiting. He has decided to engage in a deadly fight with his evil foe. During the struggle Van Helsing loses his gun with the silver bullet, and Mina, still under Dracula’s spell, gathers it and tries to aid Dracula, but she misses the target and involuntarily kills him. The special silver bullet transforms Dracula into ashes; but his spirit lifts the ashes into the air and uniting, they shape into a large bat with a mocking grin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=19d_QKyXn_o

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Brooding “Burnt Offerings” Offers Chilling Ending, Little Else

Slasher StudiosBurnt Offerings

Who doesn’t love Karen Black? Seriously, the woman is batshit crazy and I wouldn’t want her any other way. I’ve been a big fan of hers since “Trilogy of Terror” (especially the wonderful Zuni doll story). I love that she is continuing in horror today, recently making appearances in about a half dozen horror movies every year. Seriously, no lie…check out her IMDB page, the girl is BUSY! Sadly, I’ve never been all that eager to watch her 1976 haunted house thriller “Burnt Offerings.” Great cast (one cannot forget the wonderful Bette Davis as Black’s loopy Aunt) but supernatural horror has never really been my cup of poisoned tea. Nonetheless, I finally decided to film that film a whirl in my dvd player. Is it the legend that haunted house enthusiasts have been raving about?

The film begins with a small family taking a vacation from the city at a large Victorian mansion in the California countryside. The family consists of Marian (Karen Black) and her husband Ben (Oliver Reed), their young son David (Lee Montgomery), and their elderly aunt Elizabeth (Bette Davis). The owners of the house are the Allardyce siblings, brother Arnold and sister Roz, played by actors Burgess Meredith and Eileen Heckart, respectively. The Allardyces appear at the beginning of the film when they inform their new tenants of a particularly odd requirement for their rental: that the Allardyces’ elderly mother continue to live in her upstairs room and the Rolfs provide her with food during their stay. The siblings explain that the old woman is obsessed with privacy and will probably not interact with them, so the food is to be left outside her door.

As it turns out, this task falls to the mother who quickly succumbs to the allure of the ornate Victorian house and its period decor. Various “accidents” occur during the summer, including the suspicious death of Aunt Elizabeth. As the film progresses, Ben becomes increasingly depressed and anxious while Marian becomes increasingly obsessed with the house, the old woman in the attic, and all of the Victorian artifacts. It gradually becomes clear that Marian is somehow being possessed or controlled by the house and that a malevolent force is slowly consuming the whole family.

The ending of this movie is GENIUS. Genius I tell you. Sadly, the rest of the film? Not so good. This is one of those movies in which a slow burn is confused with waiting around for an hour and a half for something to happen. Not a whole lot works here. The performances are either dull (Black and Reed) or screechingly over-the-top (Davis and Meredith) that you really don’t get a good grasp on any of the characters. That being said, the ending makes this film worthwhile. The sheer gutsiness of the filmmakers to decided to go with this dour and downbeat ending has to be commended. If you are bored you could do far worse but I don’t think this is a movie that HAS to be watched. Then again, most movies aren’t.

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Slasher Studios: Horror Characters That Should Have Lived

Slasher Studios*Slasher Studios Podcast

In a twist on last week’s episode of Slasher Studios, Kevin Sommerfield and Steve Goltz went over their picks this week for the horror movie characters that should have lived. These were likable, intelligent horror characters that sadly did not make it to the end credits of their respected slasher film. Click on the link below to listen to an archive of our show.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/slasherstudios/2011/12/12/slasher-studios-horror-characters-that-shouldnt-have-died

The Official Slasher Studios Top 5 Horror Characters That Should Have Lived:

5. Jamie-Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Let’s be honest here, “Halloween 6” makes a lot of mistakes (too many characters, inconsistent editing, a dismal ending…). Not bringing back Danielle Harris to play Jamie was near the top of the mistake list. But, who can blame Danielle for not wanting to return after her character is killed off a mere ten minutes into the film. The storyline her character is given (the druids have kidnapped her and artificially inseminated her with Michael Myers’ sperm?) is too ridiculous for words. Her character deserved more than this and seeing her die tragically trying to save her child is just an insult to fans.

4. Alice-Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
Alice was the original final girl of the original “Friday the 13th” and deserved more in the sequel than just an extended cameo. Hell, her character is died before the main credits have even hit the screen. She was a fighter and not even having a chance to defend herself in her own house while frightening, felt a bit like a cheap blow. She is the only actor in the entire series to come back for a future installment and to later be killed. Maybe the “Friday the 13th” crew learned their lesson with this one.

3. Kristen-Nightmare on Elm Street 4 (1988)
Kristen was a survivor, the very last of the original Elm Street kids, and she is killed off trying to protect her best friend. Heroic? Yes. But something more should have been done with this character. The series never quite recovered handing over the reigns from Kristen to Alice and Alice just felt like a weak replacement. Note to filmmakers, bringing back your survivors just to kill them in the opening scenes of the next film doesn’t add anything to these characters. We have grown to love them. Both the characters and the audience deserve a bit more respect.

2. Helen-I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
On last week’s show I mentioned that Karla was a poor Helen replacement and that girl actually lived through the sequel! Helen is a fighter and she is given one of the best chase scenes of the 1990’s through an eerily vacant department store. The chase is scary as hell and the audience just knows that she will survive to the end. Sadly she is killed just moments before getting help. The movie pulls the rug from underneath the audience and shows that anyone can die. I wish she would have lived but at least she acted intelligently and did everything in her power to survive.

1. Rachel-Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Here we have it, the single biggest mistake the “Halloween” franchise made. Rachel was smart, resourceful, brave, and extremely intelligent. I would go as far to say that she is the most likable character in the entire series. So it makes sense to kill her minutes into the fifth installment while she acts like a complete idiot. Taking a shower while there might be a killer lurking around? Walking around with a towel on? This is not the Rachel that fans have come to love. She gets scissors in the chest and the movie never recovers. Also, the less said about Tina, the better.

NOTE: Nancy from Nightmare on Elm Street 3 would definitely be my number one but I decided to leave her out as I included her as number one on our other death list.

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Remakes That Are Better Than Their Original: “The Blob” (1988)

Slasher StudiosBlob (1988)

This is another guest review from Thomas Parsons. Thanks again Thomas for the review!

Remakes are a touchy subject for todays cinematic connoisseur. If you direct a really good one and it’s popular (THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2006, DAWN OF THE DEAD 2004, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2003, etc.), audiences will fondly remember it whenever they’re referring to the original film. Weather or not it tops the original version is irrelevant because the remake did the older one justice. If you direct a really bad one and people hate it (PSYCHO 1998, THE FOG 2005, PROM NIGHT 2008, etc.), critics and fans will be scarred for life.

Whenever the topic of the original movie comes up, someone will always mention the fact that there was an awful remake made years later. Like an uninvited guest at a party, these remakes get in the way of any fun and end up annoying everybody in the process. It’s the “kiss of death” and a curse of sorts for both films at steak. In a lot of ways, the prospect of a remake could put everything at risk for the current version and it’s originator.

The sad part about this concept is how modern society perceives the idea of a “remake” today. As if it’s some kind of new offense in the world of cinema. Remakes have been happening ever since film directors could get behind the camera lens. Which is to say a very long time! Research online has shown me that remakes have been happening as early as the 1930’s! So it’s not a new concept.

These days (2011) it seems like all Hollywood can do is churn out non stop remakes or “reimaginings.” No genre has been untouched by this trend, ranging from Horror to Science Fiction. It’s happening so much now, Hollywood has been labeled as “running out of ideas” in terms of stories. Which is sad if you ask me because the idea of a remake (especially during the mid 2000’s Horror resurgence) wasn’t necessarily a bad one. On a rare occasion, an original movie may have been awful in the first place (Wes Craven’s THE HILLS HAVE EYES 1977 for example) and a remake could be just what the doctor ordered!

However, with every successful remake, film producers will always try and cash in on a fast buck. What started out in the mid 2000’s as a wonderful return for Horror (thanks in part to some well done remakes and creative new directors), quickly became over done and unnecessary. Mainly due to greedy movie producers trying to “milk the remake cow.” Part of it comes down to laziness (nobody has to write anything if the story structure is already there) and film producers never have to worry about writers striking ever again. In todays economy, the idea of a remake must look very good to these rich, bloated, fat cat, movie producers.

With all that being said, remakes weren’t always a dirty word. The year 1982 brought us the amazing reimagining of THE THING. John Carpenter did a rare thing by out doing the 1950’s version hands down! David Cronenberg gave us THE FLY remake in 1986, doing itself and the original film justice. Many years down the road, new (and younger) directors would be adding their own personal stamps on movie reimaginings. Alexandre Aja would grace the world of Horror with his amazing remake of THE HILLS HAVE EYES in 2006. His version would help kick down the door to “retro throwback” Horror in the mid 2000’s. At that point, remakes hadn’t become over done in Hollywood yet, and it was quite refreshing to see Horror films making a serious come back. These new brutal remakes were fitting in nicely next to movies like SAW and HOSTEL. If you ask me, it was a very good time period!

So where does this 1988 version of THE BLOB fit in? In short, it’s one of the best remakes out there! I can remember watching cartoons with my younger Brother on TV after school (THUNDERCATS to be precise) and while channel surfing, we caught a trailer for the latest remake film THE BLOB. In the preview, the audience watched as a man got sucked down a sink drain by the blob creature! It was a very effective movie trailer, always sticking around in the back of my mind for many years. As a matter of fact, I still think about that film preview to this very day! It was hip, dark and haunting all at the same time. In other words, it was THE BLOB for the 1980’s generation! It worked and the movie is still great today.

Plot wise, the 1988 remake is pretty much the same as the 1950’s version. So I won’t bore you to death with a long winded film synopsis here. Just a quick run down. Basically a shapeless alien creature called “The Blob” crashes to earth in a meteorite. This slime like monster breaks out of it’s rock shell and attaches itself to a local homeless man who witnessed it crash to Earth. The Blob absorbs this guy, becoming much bigger in the process. The rest of the movie has The Blob terrorizing a local town by eating people and getting larger each time. It’s a simple story that is effective in 1988 as it was in 1958. There’s a few new twists for the 1980’s remake, but nothing to ruin the over all plot. If anything, they add to the story and make it even better!

What makes this remake work so well is the wonderful production, great actors, brooding music and terrific cinematography. There’s a pre SAW fame Shawnee Smith (always looking great!) playing one of the leads here. Also, the director of this remake (Chuck Russell) is the master mind behind the amazing A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 : THE DREAM WARRIORS. There’s a lot going on for this remake if you ask me.

Gore Hounds, without a doubt, check it out! If you’ve never seen this version of THE BLOB, you’re in for a treat! The special effects are amazing! Most of The Blob itself is “old school” hands on latex effects. Sometimes it has the form of actual slime, other times it seems like it can make itself into something with a little stronger substance. This works in the creature’s favor because this version of The Blob can pounce on it’s prey like an animal! The special effects range from camera tricks, latex models, puppetry and blue screen tactics. All classic if you ask me! The death sequences are bloody, gross and all around disgusting! People are sucked into The Blob, melted by it’s corrosive acid and distorted in flesh stretching ways! This remake is deadly serious!

Over all, THE BLOB (1988) is one of the better remakes out there. It’s proof positive that a new version of a movie can be on the same level as the original. I get the feeling that people who grew up with the 1950’s version of THE BLOB will be put off by the more gory execution here. Not to mention all of the 1980’s styles. For someone like myself who grew up in the 80’s, this is a wonderful version of THE BLOB. Respectful to the source material, while adding it’s own personal touch into the mix. This is THE BLOB, done “old school” 80’s style! Most remakes wish they were this good!

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“Wrong Turn 4” is a Dead End

Slasher StudiosWrong Turn 4

In the horror world there is a loyalty that you won’t find in any other genre. No matter how many bad sequels, awful remakes, and painful prequels Hollywood brings us, we just keep coming back for more. Case in point, “Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings.” The original “Wrong Turn” was a fun if fairly derivative slice of hillbilly horror that struck the right cord with horror audiences. It was not a box office hit making just $16 million on a budget of $12 million but the film sold millions of dvds and we can thank it with starting the series that no one really asked for. “Wrong Turn 2” switched things up a bit by turning the first film into a reality show. It was fun, campy, and delightfully over-the-top. The less said about the third film the better. Now, eight years after the first installment, we have “Wrong Turn 4” a prequel that sets to up the stakes. But does it succeed?

The film opens in 1974 at the Glenville Sanatorium with Dr. Ryan (Arne McPherson) showing a local psychiatrist Dr. Ann McQuaid (Kristen Harris) around the psychiatric hospital. The cannibals from the previous films-One Eye, Three Finger, and Saw Tooth now are locked up in the institution as children. But the cannibals escapes and sets other insane patient free in the hospital. Then cannibals savagely murder an orderly, Guard, Dr. Ryan and Dr. McQuaid.
The film then switches to present day where a group of college kids, Kenia (Jennifer Pudavick), lesbian couple Sara (Tenika Davis) and Bridget (Kaitlyn Wong), Lauren (Ali Tataryn), Jenna (Terra Vnesa), and Claire (Samantha Kendrick), along with their guy friends Kyle (Victor Zinck), Vincent (Sean Skene) and Daniel (Dean Armstrong) are going snowmobiling. They are heading to their friend Porter’s cabin in the mountains. They get lost in a storm and seek refuge inside the now abandoned Glenville Sanatorium. Little do they know, the three now adult cannibals are hiding out in the sanatorium and murdering trespassers. The movie makes it unclear as to the whereabouts of rest of patients set free by cannibals.

The group of teenagers explore the asylum, and decide to wait out the storm. After a montage of rolling around in wheelchairs, acting on illegal drugs, drinking booze and acting like teenagers, the storm still hasn’t stopped so the teenagers are forced to sleep in the desolate building. In the middle of the night, Vincent, suffering from insomnia, walks around the asylum and finds Porter’s mutilated body – apparently he didn’t make it to his cabin either. He is then killed by Saw-Tooth having a metal rod shoved into his chin and out through the top of his head. The next morning, everyone discovers they are still snowed in, and Vincent is missing. The gang splits up to look for him, and Jenna witnesses the cannibals cutting Porter up. She runs back to tell the others and they all meet up in the auditorium. Something wrapped in Porter’s jacket is thrown at them and Kenia opens it up to reveal Porter’s severed head. Screaming and panicking, the group flocks around the door, trying to get out but the doors are locked. The three cannibals-up in the balcony, throw down a strip of barb-wire and loop it around Claire’s neck, pulling her up to the balcony. Kyle tries to save her, but it is too late and the barb-wire tightens, severing Claire’s head. Horrified, those who are left of them (Kenia, Sara, Bridget, Lauren, Jenna, Kyle and Daniel) run outside and try to escape on their snowmobiles, but the engines won’t turn and it is revealed that the cannibals had stripped them of their spark plug wires. Lauren sets off to ski down the mountain to retrieve help and the other six run inside to try to defend themselves.

“Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings” is all sorts of lame. Bad CGI, atrocious acting, and thoroughly unlikable characters are just the start of this film’s problems. When will filmmakers realize that when we don’t like their characters, we don’t care who lives and who dies. When we don’t care, the movie is robbed of any and all suspense. Speaking of suspense, it is fairly obvious that ****SPOILER ALERT*** all of our “teen” characters die and all three hillbillies live as we know they were around for the “first” installment. This is just lazy filmmaking all around with some effects that have to be seen to be believed and no I don’t mean that as a compliment. Any turn away from the cover box at your local video store is a turn in the right direction.

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“Chillerama”: Great Concept, Mediocre Execution

Slasher StudiosChillerama

This guest review is from Thomas Parsons. Thanks a lot Saint Thomas for the review!

Honestly guys, I really wanted to like this movie. I heard about CHILLERAMA being produced in late 2010 (maybe early 2011) and it sounded like an interesting film. I’m always reading about my favorite Horror directors (old and new) online and through various sources like FANGORIA magazine (‘yup, they still make ’em) and internet articles. Through this, I discovered a new Horror anthology movie called CHILLERAMA was being produced and I was extatic to say the least! Not only was this going to be a “throw back” to the classic anthology movies from my youth (CREEPSHOW, TALES FROM THE CRYPT, THE TWILIGHT ZONE, CAT’S EYE) but it was also going to be produced and directed by four of my favorite Horror directors of today! Tim Sullivan (THE DEADLY SPAWN, 2001 MANIACS and it’s sequel), Adam Green (FROZEN, HATCHET and it’s sequel), Joe Lynch (WRONG TURN 2 : DEAD END) and Adam Rifkin who directed THE DARK BACKWARD, THE INVISIBLE MANIAC, PSYCHO COP 2 and DETROIT ROCK CITY! To make things even better, Kane Hodder (aka Jason Voorhees) was going to have a cameo in it to boot! *Whew!* Hearing all of that, I thought this film was going to be a low budget power house of “Grindhouse” goodness! Sadly folks, that isn’t the case here. Let me explain why.

Perusing a local department store the other day, I happened upon the “new release” section of DVD’s. Sitting right there on the shelf was CHILLERAMA for about $10 bucks! I had totally forgotten about it by now (although with all the directors and cameos in it, I don’t see how I could have) and it was a pleasant surprise! Not only was the price great, but the DVD case had cover art done by Phil Roberts in “old school” 70’s and 80’s style! Most people know his work from DETROIT ROCK CITY. It’s very caricature in it’s art style. Without a doubt, I was sold on this film already!

So I get home, pop the DVD into my player, bust out the beer and got ready for some CHILLERAMA! If anyone doesn’t know what a “Horror anthology” is, it’s basically a few short stories wrapped around a larger one. At least thats how most of them are set up. It’s a great way of keeping things fresh (for the audience), while sticking to the genre’s formula. Horror movies like this are perfect for large parties! In the case of this “exploitation” anthology, you’re expecting blood and guts. You’re expecting nudity and cheesy dialogue. You’re expecting Horror and Grindhouse “thrills.” For the most part, that’s what you get.

Anyways, CHILLERAMA starts off on a high note, being filmed in black and white. There’s a guy digging up a grave in a cemetery and we soon come to realize that it’s his dead wife’s. Over tones of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD are obvious here. We don’t really know this guy very well (as to be expected in this type of cinema) but we already know there must have been some tension in their marriage. Before you can say “drop dead gorgeous”, this guy plans on defiling his wife’s dead corpse! During the act, she comes to life and bites off his manhood (that’s putting it lightly), sending him screaming out of the cemetery and onward to his late night job. I mean, what else would you do after getting bitten in the crotch? Go to the hospital? ‘Naw! (or should I saw “gnaw”) The wound doesn’t bleed really. It just kinda’ leaks this blue toxic looking stuff. Anyone who’s seen RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD or DEAD ALIVE knows where this is going.

So where does out late night Necromaniac work you ask? Why, none other than a Drive In movie theater of course! At this point, the film changes from black and white to color, and the real plot details start to settle in. This part of CHILLERAMA is called “Zom B Movie” and it acts as the bumper to all of the other stories, rounding out everything in the end. We’re introduced to a few more characters, some more annoying than others. The owner of the Drive In movie theater is played by the always enjoyable Richard Riehle. If you don’t know who this guy is, once you see him you’ll know immediatly. He’s been in countless “cult” and comedy films over the years. In this part of CHILLERAMA, he plans on playing four movies for the last time before his Drive In is shut down forever.

The first film he shows is a movie called WADZILLA! Basically the plot is about this guy who has a low sperm count and he tries a risky procedure to up the ante. His doctor is played by Ray Wise, who you might recognize from TWIN PEAKS and the JEEPERS CREEPERS sequel. He’s a welcome addition to an already cool (so far anyways) movie. So our main character starts taking this new pill and need less to say, it has some bad consequences. At first, it starts out as a horrible pain in his crotch whenever he becomes aroused. Eventually this leads to abnormally large sperm forming whenever he does his *ahem* “business.” His doctor tells him to stop taking the pill and if he feels that awful pain again, to “release” it before the sperm kills him from the inside out! Of course this happens again on a blind date, forcing him to do his business in her bathroom. This time, the sperm is much larger and escapes before he can destroy it. The rest of the movie basically follows this giant sperm as he eats people and grows larger by the minute! Eventually it gets to the size of Godzilla (thus the name of the film) and throws down with the Statue Of Liberty!

WADZILLA is one of the best “tongue in cheek” Horror movies I’ve seen in a while! I was totally blown away by how funny it was. Almost everything about it is enjoyable from a “Grindhouse” point of view. It’s filmed like a classic 80’s Troma flick, with the costuming of a 1950’s “giant monster on the loose” movie. Even the special effects are “old school” latex and blue screens! This part of CHILLERAMA is on the level of modern classics like PLANET TERROR, DEATH PROOF and HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN! It was totally enjoyable! Play this for anyone and you’re bound to get a laugh sooner or later. After just the first story WADZILLA, I thought my purchase of CHILLERAMA was going to be well warranted. Boy, was I ever wrong! Dead wrong! It’s a fate worse than wrong! There is no coming back from this type of wrong! The film did a rare thing for me by changing my mind in only the next five minutes! I’ve never had my interest in movie vanish more quickly than this!

The next movie we get is an unbearable creation called I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR. This is the short film that almost ruined an entire movie for me. I read the synopsis online for it before CHILLERAMA came out on DVD, and even then thought it sounded like a bad idea! Here’s the basic plot. Our main character is this guy who’s in a relationship with a girl, despite he’s homosexual and miserable. One day his girlfriend is hit by a car in a parking lot (which was actually pretty funny) and now he’s free from his bad relationship to do whatever he wants. Eventually he meets a gang of gay bikers that take his interest and he starts hanging out with them. The leader of this group bites our main character, turning him into a werewolf (or werebear) in the process.

The rest of the story doesn’t really go anywhere or do anything. The audience is treated to a few musical numbers (‘yup, there’s singing) and everything seems to happen on the same beach. Every set design looks like it was made out of cardboard, and they all have the same beach background. Talk about lame. Eventually, the main character doesn’t want to kill people like his fellow “were-bears” and he decides to kill them. The last scene has him fighting them at (where else?) a beach concert with even more bad singing. He kills the “were-bears” and thats it. End of movie.

I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR is like a horrible mix of GREASE and TWILIGHT. Almost everything about this movie is bad, even the special effects. How can a “cult” film disappoint in terms of cheap special effects!?! Well, this movie does some how. The werebears just look like fat hairy bikers wearing greasy brown face paint. Add a few sharp teeth and there you go. WEREBEAR! Gimmie’ a break. But the biggest offense of this segment doesn’t come from the bad writing or cheap make up. It comes from the sound quality. For some reason it’s mixed horribly and you have to turn the volume up real loud. Somtimes the sound effects or dialogue come booming back in, forcing you to turn down the volume quickly! It’s almost like the director was using just one microphone and thats it. Whoever mixed it must have been asleep at the wheel too. This is inexcusable. Before you release a DVD, you should test the DVD.

In the end, what you have with I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR is a bad film you have to play unnecessarily loud. With all the bad song through out the movie, who wants to do that? It’s not even filmed interestingly like WADZILLA and the gore is pretty weak. Like I said before, I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR is the film that almost ruined CHILLERAMA for me. I might be able to tolerate it as just the “bad part” of the anthology if the sound mixing didn’t add insult to injury, but it does. It’s just a bad, plain and simple. To think, this is the same director who brought us 2001 MANIACS! It’s not even on the same level as that film.

After being disappointed with the last story, I didn’t think CHILLERAMA could rebound from that. The third and truly last story (if you don’t count “Zom B Movie” at the end) is called THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN. It’s actually pretty funny and more or less picks up the pieces after I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR. It’s not the best story in CHILLERAMA, but it is a welcome return after the atrocity that came before it. The plot is simple enough. Hitler (played wonderfully by Joel David Moore) comes into possession of a book that will help him make a Frankenstein like monster. Not being a very politically correct movie in the first place, he constructs his monster out of dead (take a guess) Jewish people and trains it to kill for him!

THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN is a pretty funny segment in the film. The whole movie is filmed in black and white, while the monster is played by Kane Hodder! The movie gets respect from me just for Hodder alone. I read online that Joel David Moore didn’t actually speak German but instead spoke gibberish the whole time. His version of Hitler is one of the best aspects of CHILLERAMA, next to WADZILLA itself! Truly funny! Some parts of THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN are kinda’ dumb (with an idea like that, how could it not be) but it does fare better than I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR.

CHILLERAMA wraps up with ZOM B MOVIE and by now, you realize how much this film has actually failed on the whole. The gore is spread pretty thin by this point (most of it has to rely on lame camera tricks) and it becomes obvious that “Zom B Movie” wasn’t the reason you were into CHILLERAMA in the first place. The rest of the film is about a zombie outbreak at the very Drive In CHILLERAMA is playing at. It’s entertaining (and is a million times better than “Were-Bear”) but it just kinda’ leaves something to be desired.

Over all, this is not the worst anthology I’ve ever seen (that honor would go to CREEPSHOW III, which should be avoided at all costs) but that isn’t saying much. CHILLERAMA is just put together lousy. It’s a bunch of ideas (some much better than others) slapped together as “Grindhouse” entertainment and nothing more. Maybe my expectations were too high for this kind of thing. Then again, with all the build up of Horror director’s and cameo’s, how could it not be? This should have turned out better than it did.

Gore Hounds, check it out for some creative kills and interesting make up. The first tale (WADZILLA) has some really great latex creations and gory sequences. Outside of that, it kinda’ goes down hill from I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR and beyond. I get the feeling if the second story was never included, CHILLERAMA might have played out a little better. I give the over all experience three stars for two stories being good (WADZILLA and DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN), all the cameos (Kane Hodder was great to watch), directors and gore. It’s just a shame this movie didn’t turn out better. It only survives on sheer excess. This time, that’s just not enough. Still, three stars is pretty good if you ask me. All things considered.

Honestly though, you’re better off watching CREEPSHOW, TALES FROM THE CRYPT or something like MASTERS OF HORROR. Outside of that, CHILLERAMA should only be watched if you’re truly desperate for the anthology format. Just make sure you skip the second story. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me! It’s bad!

To buy Chillerama: Chillerama (DVD)

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