Great Holiday Horror: “April Fool’s Day” (1986)

Slasher Studios*Holiday Horror

April Fools Day (1986) is a crafty little film that to the in trained eye could be easily written off as ‘just another slasher film’. Coming at the tail end of the golden era of slasher movies April Fools Day manages to be far more intelligent then the audience watching it. It has a subtle post modern streak running through the entire film. It knows it’s a slasher, it knows things have been done to death and it plays up to them.

If New Nightmare refined this and Scream perfected it Fools Day pioneers it. This ties in with the whole April Fools Day motif and the fact that early into the film a double bluff is pulled so as to keep the audience guessing. Those who dislike the twist at the end miss the whole point the film is the ‘prank’ and better for it. Unlike themed slashers from the 90s onwards this film sticks to its ideas and fils the movie with jokes, scares and deaths all themed around bad luck and pranks gone wrong. The jack in the box wrap around always sets me on edge coupled with the bouncy playful score that’s just the other side of unnerving. The cast do a great job of acting natural and feel like friends who know each other and don’t seem like stock characters. Few films these days manage to make you believe in the people your watching too interested in selling you the movie with sex appeal and ‘stunt’ casting.

April Fools Day is a great example of movie making to make a film and NOT to sell t-shirts. Though I know I’d rather own an April Fools tee then a Twilight one. The film sets a great atmosphere and creepy vibe throughout and even shows a mean steak towards the final strech. I applaud it for having guts to pull a last minute scare/prank on the audience literally winking at us before the credits roll. Anyone who isn’t left with a big smile on their face is made of stone.

–Wesley James Skelly

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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Bloody Murder 2” (2003)

Slasher Studios*Bad Horror

Yesterday our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling took a look at the awful would be “Friday the 13th” clone “Bloody Murder.” Today he is back with an all new tweet by tweet review for the sequel, cleverly titled “Bloody Murder 2.” Is it as bad as the original or is there hope for this would be franchise after all?

Thoughts before the film:
What am I getting myself into…At least people say this is better than the first. Please be true.

Thoughts while watching:
0:06 They said the name. I look for this in every movie now…
0:07 Wait, so is the girl the same from the first one? I can’t even tell.
0:12 He was counting for 20 seconds… And they made it seem like he was there for 20 minutes waiting for them to hide.
0:13 This movie is exactly the same as the first one so far. What the heck.
0:17 There’s actually blood in this one!
0:25 Death count by arrows in this movie: like, all of them?
0:34 Stop crying, it’s your fault you’re a skank.
0:39 The only good thing about this movie so far is this guy’s catchy ringtone that has gone off about 20 times now.
0:52 I bet they’re gonna try to make it obvious who the killer is again, and then switch it into someone completely random.
0:59 Oh god here’s when it turns into a detective movie just like the first one.
1:11 I told you they would make the killer seem to be someone, and then change it to be someone completely random.

Final Verdict:
The production of ‪#BloodyMurder2‬ was better than the first, but that still didn’t make it a good movie. Boring story, annoying characters. Thank god there isn’t a third entry in this series.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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Entertainingly Awful Movies: “Saturday the 14th Strikes Back” Review

Slasher Studios*Bad Horror

Saturday the 14th Strikes Back is a film made for people who laugh every damn time Lucy yanks the football away and Charlie Brown falls flat on his butt. Whether the film is attempting comedy, child-friendly monster mayhem, or basic exposition, it finds a way to fail disastrously.

The premise of Saturday the 14th Strikes Back, a sequel in name only, is simple enough. A family lives on top of a passageway to Hell. Creatures of all shapes and sizes pass through the crack and cause madcap tomfoolery for hero Eddie Baxter (Jason Presson) and his family. Eventually, Eddie is tossed an obligatory, unnecessary love interest and forced to battle the very essence of Evil for his family and for humanity as we know it.

Aimed at children, the movie unfolds like a series of skits meant to provide safe, non-menacing monsters mixed with Airplane! style hijinks. In these small moments, Saturday the 14th Strikes Back embarrasses itself repeatedly, like a dog that can’t stop whizzing on the rug.

One gag involves hero Eddie Baxter lamenting his family doesn’t eat normal food as his mom fills his breakfast plate with sugary desserts. It’s not long after that when a scantily clad vampire appears in his bedroom to sing a doo-wop song about being bored with a vampire’s diet. The gags keep coming: the submarine in Eddie’s uncle’s stomach, the pudding sculptures, the monsters on the miniature golf course, the brain burgers, and the cop-out stock footage battle with Evil that ends the whole mess. Each of these moments takes something that barely qualifies as humorous and awkwardly beats each joke like a dead horse. In fact, one of those jokes literally involves dead horses.

The first five minutes of the film say everything. The credits roll over a calm, peaceful beach. The music, as if from another movie, bleats scary horn bursts as nothing more frightening than waves lapping at the sand appears on the screen. Eddie Baxter stumbles through clunky dialogue and, when the camera finally focuses on him, he looks straight into it and tells us this was the summer where he saved the world.

This is a zero Teddy film, but few films are as entertaining as watching this movie try to be clever and fail. It’s simply that earnest and determined, and pity makes belly laughs deeper. Like a kid in socks trying to turn a corner on linoleum, like a drunken man hitting on a waitress, there is humor in watching repeated clumsy failure. For this, Saturday the 14th Strikes Back should be saluted.

–Axel Kohagen

Follow Axel on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrhorrorpants

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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Bloody Murder” (2000)

Slasher Studios*Bad Horror

In 2000, a movie was released that was the end all be all “Friday the 13th” rip off. Too bad the movie in question was about fifteen years too late to capitalize on that franchise’s huge success. The movie was titled “Bloody Murder” and it was ripped apart by horror fans and critics alike with many calling it the single worse horror movie of the decade. While I personality didn’t feel it was THAT bad (did these critics in question watch “Ax Em”?), it certainly wasn’t good by any stretch of the imagination. Today we have our faithful twitter reviewer Tim Schilling ready to take a look at the film to ask the question, “Is Bloody Murder really THAT awful?”

Thoughts before the film:
Finishing up this pretty bad 8 pack from Walmart I got months ago. I’ve been avoiding this… ‪#BloodyMurder‬

Thoughts while watching:
0:02 Chainsaw has been done before.
0:04 I wonder if it’s a law in the writing world to called everyone names Julia, jewels.
0:13 They said the name! I didn’t think they would in this movie.
0:17 They faked being the killer two times already, I’m not gonna believe it’s the killer next time now.
0:25 Lemme just push you off the boat, watch you drown for a little bit then bring you back up.
0:27 I don’t know what movie these people are watching in this, but I’d rather watch that than this one. Make sense?
0:31 Ohhh your watch beeps on the hour… Please let me have your technology.
0:32 Is this a detective movie? Sherlock Holmes right here.
0:39 How did this movie not get sued by the people of Friday the 13th? This is exactly the same.
0:45 Really? A character’s name is Jason? There’s a difference between homages and blatant copying.
0:58 How can someone “seem really tired” if they’re already sleeping?
1:02 Falling on your butt = scratched up knee.
1:05 …oh I’ve seen this movie before. I remember turning it off before I finish it, wonder why.
1:10 No, it was not drew. The guy in the mask was way bigger and taller than her.
1:12 It took like 5 murders for the cops to finally close down the camp.
1:17 This makes absolutely no sense. Like at all. Did a 5 year old write this?
1:24 I bet the guy walking away is the killer in the sequel.
1:25 Wait never mind he’s dead.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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“Blood Games” Cuts With Fun, B-Movie Jiggle Exploitation

Slasher StudiosBlood Games

A barnstorming baseball team of buxom blondes and brunettes picks the wrong bunch of hillbillies to embarrass on the diamond in Blood Games. When the girls of Babe and the Ballgirls beat the rednecks at baseball (in spite of excessive groping on the basepaths) white trash blood is boiling. Then, two of the rednecks assault two of the ballplayers in an alley and it’s a war between mercenary rednecks and hot 80s ladies. It’s like Hooters tried to remake the movie Deliverance at a rec league softball game.

Blood Games sports plenty of B-Movie moments, but it also manages to be watchable – bordering on enjoyable. It’s paced like a surprised college student’s dorm room tour: fast and upbeat so you don’t have time to notice how sloppy things have gotten. The music rejects subtlety for sappy sentimentality and ominous droning, and somehow it keeps the whole hot mess on the tracks.

The real joy of Blood Games comes from the bizarre and garish exploitation moments horror fans sift through countless boring movies to discover. Between the credits, fright fans get to see a sexy brunette blow-drying her breasts underneath her bra. They enjoy watching a drunken redneck poking at a balloon while urinating. The pixie-ish ballplayer stopping to admire a butterfly before an arrow pins her to a tree. George “Buck” Flower, a John Carpenter regular, wearing a “The Check Is In The Mail” trucker hat and begging the showering ballplayers to be careful of his bad arm and his bad neck.

The biggest flaw in Blood Games is the unnecessarily eroticized sexual violence. The battles between ballplayers and slack-jawed hillbillies are played for fun and laughs. On the two occasions where sexual violence becomes very real, it throws the movie into an uncomfortable distraction that neither improves the intensity of the fighting nor adds depth and understanding to the reality of sexual violence.

Squint your way past those scenes, and you’ll love Blood Games. Hot girls, baseball bats, hooting hillbillies, and the importance of having a strong throwing arm.

–Axel Kohagen

Follow Axel on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrhorrorpants

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Tim’s Tweet Reviews: “Total Recall” (1990)

Slasher StudiosTotal Recall (1990)

With the sure-to-be-awful PG-13 remake right around the corner, we thought we’d grace you slasher fans with a review of the original, dare we say classic, 1990 sci-fi hit “Total Recall.” Is it a slasher? No, not at all. Do people die in some very awesome ways? You bet they do and that’s good enough for us as Slasher Studios. Tim Schilling is back with another great tweet by tweet review.

Thoughts before the film:
Not really horror, but it’s sci fi and cheesy as hell so I’ll do a review for it! ‪I’ve seen the first half of this movie like a million times when it’s on tv and never seem to finish it. #TotalRecall‬

Thoughts while watching:
0:04 This was the most expensive movie made at the time, right? I remember reading that somewhere.
0:05 I thought Arnold was gonna rip his wife in half when she was trying to get away…
0:13 The 90’s version of what the future looks like is so tacky.
0:20 We just had Inception, do we really need to remake this? The story is essentially the same. Kinda.
0:22 Geez, Doug goes ape shit over the littlest things!
0:27 Yeah I bet you like to be tied up.
0:32 They said it! They said the name of the movie!
0:35 What an old greedy bitch. I bet she shops at Walgreens.
0:41 That bug was the size of a golf ball, how did he pull it out of his nose!!
0:45 I knew that wasn’t a woman.
0:48 I wonder what a mars accent would sound like.
0:52 Wait so is Arnold’s character still named Doug…?
0:53 LOLOL the newspaper Mars Today.
0:55 Hahahha she had three boobs.
1:04 Don’t you know never to take pills from strangers?
1:09 How did I not notice before that Inception basically stole the idea of this movie?
1:13 Hooker party massacre.
1:18 What the hell is the alien mutant baby thing stuck on this guy’s stomach!?
1:26 This movie, in the words of Doug, this is the best mind fuck yet.
1:45 Attack of the air.

Overall:
I haven’t seen many scifi movies, but ‪#TotalRecall‬ is definitely one of my favorites. A great story with awesome cheesy effects and just really tacky acting and design, it’s definitely worth a watch if you haven’t seen it yet.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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Horror Films We Love: “Dracula Has Risen from the Grave” (1968)

Slasher StudiosDracula Has Risen from the Grave

It’s the 3rd Dracula theme movie of Christopher Lee. The man who pushed the role of Count Dracula one step forward to the boundaries of horror.

The film opens in a small village where Dracula made his unpleasant appearance by leaving his first victim, a year after he has been destroyed. A small boy discovers the body of a young girl in the church’s bell. After that he’s unable to speak.

When a monsignor comes to check the village and how the church functions he finds the priest alone at the church and the villagers unwilling to go inside because they are afraid the shadow of the castle. Monsignor tries to convince them that nothing’s wrong with the castle anymore and people have nothing to worry about. For that he decides to go to the castle to exorcise it along with the priest. But when they reach the castle and Monsignor performs the exorcism, an accident of the priest causes the resurrection of count Dracula. Monsignor returns to the village where he thought that the priest has already returned and assure the others that they have nothing to fear because the evil has been destroyed (so much did he know). The fact is that the priest is from now on under the control of Dracula. Now the vicious Count is seeking for revenge and the perfect victim for him is Monsignor’s niece Maria. Will he be able to accomplish his aim or he’ll find obstacles on the way…??? I’ve never been a spoiler, so watch the movie to find what happens !!!

I think that Hammer productions made an excellent job back to the 60’s and 70’s with the horror stuff. Great actors and unique atmosphere was all that it was needed. Christopher Lee is the best Dracula ever if you ask me. Sometimes I think that he is the Dracula in reality :) So, horror fans, if you haven’t seen it yet, give it a shot.

–Panos Tsiros

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“The Pact” is Suspenseful & Scary Supernatural Done Right

Slasher StudiosPact

“The Pact” tells the tale of a young woman named Annie and her struggle to piece together mysterious happenings in the home she lived in as a child. With the death of her mother and the disappearance of her sister shortly after, Annie, played to perfection by Caity Lotz, returns home only to realize that she is not alone. With strange bumps in the night, she flees the house, but returns later and is forced to take a closer look into dark past of her family.

With stunning cinematography and effects, The Pact, gives more spine tingling chills than most of the supernatural films that have been released lately. With suspense setting in just minutes into the film and not letting up until the credits roll, audiences will be holding onto their seats for the entire ride. With the disturbing imagery coupled with some excellent editing and direction, the hair will stand up on the back of your neck throughout the film. The film contains minimal gore, but the blood comes not only as a pleasant surprise, but also as an eye-opening and well done effect. You’re not getting the bloody goodness of the slashers, but some very well timed suspenseful scares.

Not having seen a decent supernatural horror film in a while, I am delighted to praise The Pact. With the music revving up at all the right times and the cuts being dead on, the mystery is to die for. I would be happy with a ending that cuts to black a few minutes earlier, but honestly, this film still holds up with the additional running time and does not seem to drag on. Be on the look out for this film, written and directed by Nicholas McCarthy.

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Horror Sequels We Love: “Amityville II: The Possession” (1982)

Slasher StudiosAmityville II: The Possession

‎Kevin Sommerfield (editor’s note: that’s me!) mentioned that we should try and choose a horror movie that helped shape us into the type of horror fans we are today. My choice for this week’s theme for Best Horror is Amityville II: The Possession (1982). I watched it as a kid and it scared me just as much as The Exorcist, and seeing it as an adult (it still scares the shit out of me), I recognized how well done it was.

Without a doubt, the terror I experience from this particular film is in no part indirectly related to what The Exorcist (1973) introduced to me when I was fourteen. I don’t think I slept for three years after watching that film. The Exorcist had a major influence in what I find “scary” in horror movies to this day. Shortly after watching that I introduced myself to Amityville and Amityville II. I am a fan of the first film, but only because of how much I love the second, if that makes sense (and I am aware that this probably doesn’t make sense at all, but bear with me…).

I have heard many people describe the first movie as being dull. As much of a fan of it as I am, I cannot say I totally disagree, especially when it is compared to the second. Amityville II: The Possession has every element of intrigue that the first film in the series lacks.

Aside from whatever the Lutz family did or did not experience in the Amityville house, the original events that took place before Lutz’s took residence there occurred in the early morning hours of November 14, 1974. An family of six were shot and killed while the slept in their beds. Ronnie DeFeo, Jr. was thereafter charged and convicted with murdering his entire family (his parents and younger siblings). I will not add to the chaos by going through all the theories of who was involved and why he did it and expound on his line of “the devil made me do it” defense. There are some great resources out there on the history of this murder case, such as some pretty good non-biased documentaries on YouTube, if anyone is interested. Amityville II: The Possession takes more of an approach to some possible semi-truths related to the family dynamics of the original DeFeo family leading up to the murders (though I must point out that as being the farthest it goes with any possible “truths”).

There is growing tension between Sonny (Jack Magner), the eldest child in the Montelli family, and his father (Burt Young)- a greasy, grouchy brute who is abusive to his wife and children. Sonny’s mother (Rutanya Alda) is typically skittish and timid, and somewhat over-reactive, and consistently begs her husband to keep the peace and allow their new home to be blessed. Alda does a fantastic job playing her role just “slightly” over-the-top so that it establishes her character perfectly for what the movie really is. Patricia Montelli, Sonny’s younger sister and close friend (a professional and effective performance by a young Patricia Franklin) soon realizes Sonny’s behavior changing after the family moves into the house. The relationships deteriorating and volatility rising between members of the household, the angst-driven teen growing more and more reclusive, the traumatizing and painful “relations” developing between Sonny and Patricia (and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty), along with all the unexplained phenomena going on in the house, and the priest, Father Adamsky, trying to make sense of it all and ministering to the family the best he knows how (a fantastic performance by James Olson) all round up nicely for a fun, old-fashioned demonic possession that eventually ends in a blood bath, and finally, an exorcism that contains a moment, albeit brief (thankfully), when a very good movie suddenly gets painfully stupid- but only for a moment. I just don’t see the purpose of the slimy alien baby, but I am passing that off to you for consideration.

I have found that people who have seen this movie strongly dislike it. I don’t understand all the hates. I mean, yes, it is offensive, but not all together stupid or ineffective. Let me know your thoughts on the film, if you decide to see it, or if you already have. Enjoy!

(Just a small disclaimer: I have hardly paid any attention to the other silly films in the series that have nothing to do with anything, though I am sure they’re all delightful. I have, thanks to a Christmas present one year from Kevin, seen “Amityville: A New Generation” is mostly a cheesetastic soft-core porn, if anyone is interested…)

—Catherine Kincannon

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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Carrie” (1976)

Slasher Studios*Slasher Tweet Review

I’m about to unveil a huge confession of mine that not many people know about me…I don’t like Brian DePalma’s “Carrie.” I think many of the performances are over-the-top, the direction is overdone and the characters are too obnoxious to really care about. I know that I am in the minority here but I thought I should let that all out there before we start in on a brand new tweet by tweet review from our resident Twitter horror critic Tim Schilling. Most horror fans consider the film to be a classic. Let’s find out what Tim thinks of it.

Thoughts before the film:
I’ve seen this movie a few times, but never all at once. I always saw it in parts because it got me mad at how plain mean it is. ‪#Carrie‬

Thoughts while watching:
0:06 I just feel so bad for Carrie, all the time.
0:07 I read the book Carrie, but don’t remember much. Is this movie a fairly good adaption?
0:12 People like mrs. White annoy the crap outta me. Don’t preach to me.
0:16 Does the doll of Jesus in the closest freak anyone else out or am I the only one?
0:17 Thanks for locking me up in the closest mama.
0:26 This has some great music.
0:28 I wish the gym teacher slapped that bitch harder.
0:32 John travolta is pretty goofy looking.
0:35 How can she be talking while she’s goin down there!?
0:45 Prom? *cue thunder*
0:46 Everything is a sin to this bitch.
0:49 Notice how in older movies you can sneak into a school no problem,but now if you go near one at night the swat team is called.
0:53 “I can see your dirty pillows” they’re boobies mama.
1:07 I just wanna have prom again pls.
1:17 I honestly feel so bad for Carrie. This is why this movie makes me mad.
1:21 I’m glad your car flipped over and blew up.
1:30 Getting stabbed to death is turning this crazy woman on.
1:33 Creepy Jesus doll is creepy.
1:35 She’s a senior in high school, how is she gonna forget that all of her friends were killed at prom?

Overall:
I guess as a film, ‪#Carrie‬ was good, but the whole story just upsets me in general. Why are people so fucked up. I’m upset after just watching it haha, but I thought it was made very well!

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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