Disappointing Horror Remakes: “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010)

Slasher StudiosNightmare on Elm Street (2010)

When I first read that there would be a NOES remake I was very excited and curious about the result. I was kind of hoping that they wouldn’t go off the track as far as the script and some classic scenes is concerned. But the most important for me was who’s gonna play Nancy. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t think any other girl play Nancy Thompson but Heather Langenkamp.

The “New” Nightmare begins in a Springwood diner where a teenage boy make acquaintances with Freddy Krueger. In the first 5 minutes we have the first murder, so no time for suspense here. After that, the group of friends that they are haunted from the same man in their dreams try to find out what is going on and why that man haunts them, only to discover that their parents burned him alive in an old boiler room because they told them that Freddy was trying to molest them. Now they have to know if their parents did what was right or if they killed that man in vain. Till then one by one the children of Elm street fall by his blades.

In my opinion this remake was very diasappointing for me. First of all I didn’t like Freddy, his make up didn’t work for me. It seemd very strange and alien rather than burned and scary. His voice was very annoying and funny, didn’t stand a chance with the creepy voice of the original Freddy. He was a child molester but It wasn’t necessary to show as all the detalis. Personally I didn’t want to see Freddy as a real person but only as a spirit haunting children in their dreams and that’s all.

The new Nancy didn’t work for me. She was very low profile and stayed that way all the way down. She was very weak and seemed that didn’t have what it takes to beat Freddy. The real Nancy on the other hand was dynamic and a real fighter. Maybe they should give a little more action to her role in the remake. In my opinion Kris (Tina in the original Nightmare) should be Nancy. She was the first who started digging up her past in order to find out what’s happening and why that man wants to kill her and her friends. She seemed more powerful and energetic. The truth is that in the remake none of the characters has a special personality on the contrary all the characters in the original film are very well made and have something to add in the film.

Additionally the score of this movie was vapid. Nothing special and creepy like Charles Bernstein’s original theme.

Concluding, I must say that I was very disappointed with the result of this remake. I hope that in the future noone will have the nerve to make a remake of the original masterpiece, some things are not meant to made twice.

–Panos Tsiros

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Horror Remakes That Kick Ass: “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” (1978)

Slasher StudiosInvasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Released in 1978, Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a remake of the 1956 movie of the same name, which is also based off a novel, written by Jack Finney. Some people see remakes as inferior films just as a rule and since the turn of the century when it seems every major horror film has been a remake many people forget that a remake can be just as good if not better than the original and that brings us to the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In many ways the 1978 version just might be the best version of this franchise.

The screenplay by W.D. Richter was excellent and well plotted and takes elements from the original film and novel and improves on it while adding some new elements that take this movie to the next level. The characters are well developed and likeable and that raises the stakes of the suspense since we the audience become attached to the characters. These kinds of movies aren’t always well written, but can still work. I can name several great horror flicks that are great, but featured ok writing and it was the direction and or music that elevated them, but in the case of Invasion of the Body Snatchers it was a mixture of all of these things.

The screenplay is heavily based on the characters and how they react to the events surrounding them and the characters are more than strong enough to carry the picture. When the action does kick in the movie is still driven more by the characters rather than the action. Richter could have taken the easy way out and simply do a basic rewrite on the original, but instead he adds onto the original and again adds a few new things. As stated earlier the characters are great, and W.D. Richter wrote simply a terrific and chilling screenplay.

As I write this review I’ve never seen any of Philip Kaufman’s movies except for Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but with this movie he creates a masterpiece of Sci-fi/Horror. From the very opening shot, Kaufman creates a tone for the movie, which I feel is very important; right away we get the sense that something isn’t quite right and as characters pass we get the sense something is very wrong. As the invasion starts, Kaufman is really able to deliver a great sense of paranoia as we have no idea who’s been replaced by the pods. A lot of the camera shots are simple techniques such as the camera kinda moving wildly to show the confusion and paranoia of what’s happening and simple close ups that sort of cut everything out except the characters to make you feel isolated. These are things many horror movies use and it’s always effective and maybe even more effective here.

The pacing of the film is excellent as every scene in the movie somehow moves the story forward in terms of plot, characters and suspense. Like I said from the very first scene of the movie Kaufman sets a tone for the movie and creates a very bleak tone that is highly chilling; once the sense of paranoia sets in never once does it let up throughout the picture. In my opinion this is as close to perfect direction as you’ll get. Despite how well written the movie was without the right director it could have been boring, but Kaufman does an excellent job and with his direction and Richter’s script, they create one of the great Sci-fi/Horror flicks.

All these elements of the film would have been lost with a lesser cast, but Invasion of the Body Snatchers has one of my all-time favorite casts and the action is brilliant. If this were some splatter flick the cast wouldn’t be as crucial, but when a movie focuses on the characters if the acting isn’t strong no matter how well written and directed the movie will suffer. Donald Sutherland as Matthew Bennell and Brooke Adams as Elizabeth Driscoll are the leads and both are brilliant in their roles. Sutherland is one of my favorite actors and in my opinion this was his best performance; while I haven’t seen as much work with Brooke Adams I have seen enough though to be a fan. Both Sutherland and Adams work so well together and it’s quite difficult not to get attached to them.

Jeff Goldblum as Jack Bellicec is excellent like always, and in typical Goldblum fashion his character is a bit out there, but is highly likeable and entertaining and Veronica Cartwright as Nancy Bellicec is also solid; Cartwright might have the smallest role of four main characters, but the writing is strong enough as is Cartwright’s performance that she feels just as developed as the lead characters and not forgotten is Leonard Nimoy who is excellent as Dr. David Kibner.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers isn’t the type of movie that will have the audience jumping out of their seats and in many ways that is the best thing about the movie. Any average or even below average filmmaker can create jump scares and most of the time we jump more as a reaction and not because we’re scared. But after the movie we quickly forget the only jump scares that work are the ones that are set up (see Wait Until Dark), but this movie aims to be chilling and that’s how it scares you and in my opinion it’s movies like this that leave a lasting effect on the viewer. It takes a lot more talent to create such a suspenseful and chilling movie filled with paranoia and I’d go as far to say Philip Kaufman did a better job at that here than Roman Polanski did in the brilliant masterpiece Rosemary’s Baby.

Another reason this movies works so well is simply because of the characters. Since we get to know them so well it raises the stakes when they are in danger. They are likeable and we want to see them survive and not become one of the pod people. Once that final hour hits its non-stop suspense now as the characters are in danger the suspense level hits big time. And again I also love the sense of paranoia this movie has. Once the invasion starts happening you don’t really know who’s who. It seems like the whole city has been taken over, which most people were, but you just don’t know who is a pod and who isn’t.

My favorite part of the movie are the cameos by Kevin McCarthy who of course was the star of the original 1956 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, he’s credited as the running man, he’s the one that warns of pending danger. And of course the cameo by Don Siegel who was the director of the original appears briefly as the Taxi Driver.

The ending of the movie was pure brilliance, which I will not spoil. To my surprise a lot of people debate the ending. I thought it was quite clear what happened. You don’t get the typical Hollywood ending and as much as people complain about it when they don’t get it they seem to complain more. The ending of the movie was quite chilling and is a scene that will leave a lasting imprint on the viewer.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers is one of the very best movies you’ll find in the horror genre. The tone of the movie is dark and bleak and while it’s not action packed the movie is so well done it doesn’t need action to be scary. As much as I love the original 56 version, the remake is the definitive Body Snatcher movie. Look for Robert Duvall in a cameo in the opening as the priest on the swing.

—Dave Kaye

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Worst Horror Remakes: “The Fog” (2006) Review

Slasher StudiosFog (2006)

To me the worst remake is the remake of Psycho. Seeing that it has already been reviewed (and I couldn’t have said it any better than they did, haha), I’ll go with my next choice, the abomination that is The Fog remake.

The Fog is a remake of the 1980 film of the same name. It tells the story of Antonio Bay, a small town that is getting ready to unveil a statue commemorating the founders of the town. Nick Castle (Tom Welling), is one of the descendants of the men. When his girlfriend Elizabeth (Maggie Grace) returns to the town, Nick hopes they can re-spark their relationship. Things go horribly wrong however when an eerie fog rolls in with someone or something inside that begins killing the residents of the town. The only source the town can depend on for the fog’s direction is the radio host Stevie Wayne (Selma Blair), who also is trying to set out to save her son who’s trapped in the fog. What is the big secret about the fog?

The original film, directed by John Carpenter is an excellent and very creepy horror film. The remake basically does everything it can to take a huge dump on the classic. In the original for the ghosts of the fog, we actually have solid figures. In the remake the ghosts are made from shitty CGI. When it comes to ghosts in horror movies, solid figured ghosts are ALWAYS scarier than lame CGI, transparent ones. What also makes this a horrible film is the twist ending, this one basically kills it. We find out that Elizabeth is the Captain ghost’s long lost bride. The two end up kissing and she turns into a ghost. WTF?? Not only is it a stupid twist, but these are supposed to evil, revenge seeking ghosts. Not love sick, heartbroken ones.

I do however think the film had some decent acting, especially by Selma Blair. And like the original, the better scenes were the ones involving Stevie Wayne.

This movie was in no way scary or chilling, and it completely tore apart the original film. Yes, remakes are supposed to have differences, but not completely tear apart its inspiration. One word of advice to horror, producers, CGI is never always the answer, and is never as scary as something that appears real. I’m so glad my friend has never returned my copy of the movie to me after borrowing it to her back in 2006.

—Cody Landman

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The Top Five Worst Horror Movie Mistakes

Slasher Studios*Slasher Studios Podcast

Did you miss the Slasher Studios Web Cast? Don’t worry, because the archive version is available online now! Listen in as we discusses the all too common pitfalls that horror filmmakers fall into. Check out the preview below and remember…the following mistakes should be probably be avoided.

1) Having a final boy, instead of a final girl.
Horror films (especially the slasher subgenre) can give us something that many other genres can not: a strong, independent female lead. The final girls are able to hold there own and do not need to rely on a boyfriend or anybody else to survive. This is breath of fresh air, as so many films can portray the male as the superior character. It’s great to be able to see the final girl outwit and outsmart the villain to become a memorable heroine.

2) Having an ending that runs on too long.
Not many mistakes are worse than a film that just won’t end! The last reaction a filmmaker wants is a dull audience that is bored and waiting for the credits to roll. So many times, an extra scene is tacked on to no avail. The studio may do this to pad the running time or close the film with closure. Neither are needed and both are terrible excuses to prolong a would-be successful flick. If a story can be told and characters can be developed within 80-90 minutes, then that is what MUST be done. Don’t let your film go from heart pounding to toe tapping because of an unneeded and extended ending.

3) Taking a series to space.
Why so many sequels find themselves floating around in space, is a question that horror fans may never get answered. There is no reason to stray so far away from the previous films within a series. If a film is lucky enough to spawn off multiple sequels, then there is no need to mess with success. Horror fans will not buy into this and sci-fi fans will disregard it as well. If filmmakrs want to make a movie that takes place in space, then they need to create and original story, characters and villains and make it something new.

4) Forgetting the rules established by the original.
Just like the pitfalls involved with taking a franchise to space, forgetting the rules of the original and have adverse effects on a new sequel as well. Remember, consistency is a good thing! Movie goers like to know what they are getting. Audiences want a safe bet when they are spending $10+ on a movie ticket, so why not give them what works, give them what they want and give them what is true to the original.

5) No likable characters or centralized hero.
Nobody wants to spend an hour and a half starring at characters they don’t like or even care about. The audience needs to feel a connection and have an emotional tie to the characters in a film. However, having a nice contrast between likable and non-likable characters is a good aspect to feature in a film. This gives the audience a chance to take sides and root for and against certain characters. This will then draw them into the film to a deeper level and will only help create a more enjoyable experience.

Those are 5 of the 6 mistakes covered in the latest Slasher Studios Web Cast. Check out the archive version to hear the entire episode, and all 6 of the mistakes filmmakers need to avoid when creating a movie.

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“Street Trash” Provides Kaleidoscope of Killing and Gore Galore

Slasher StudiosStreet Trash

I’ve owned a tumblr account since the beginning of time (to follow just click on the tumblr link at the top of the page). Well, actually about a year but in “internet time” that is equivalent to at least a couple of decades, right? Having a specialty themed account (slasher movies, who knew?), I tend to see a lot of the same movies repeated over and over again. Don’t get me wrong, I love “Nightmare on Elm Street” and “Friday the 13th” as much as the next slasher fan but there are only so many stills and gifs that anyone can make from one particular movie. It is when I see a still from a slasher flick that I’ve never even heard of that my interest is immediately piqued. The last few weeks I have been seeing more and more stills from a little, relatively obscure horror movie by the name of “Street Trash.” What is this movie and why haven’t I heard about it until now? Thanks to my good friend Tony Brown, I was able to take a stab at this “gorerific masterpiece.” Does the movie live up to the hype or is there a reason why many horror fans have long since forgotten about this movie?

“Street Trash” begins with the owner of a liquor store in lower Manhattan finding a case of cheap liquor (“Tenafly Viper”) in his basement. After a little bit of research, the shop owner finds out the the liquor is over 60 years old and has gone bad….really bad. Nonetheless, he decides to sell it to the local hobos anyway for a dollar. A dollar for a bottle of liquor? That’s a steal. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like the stuff is going to kill you. Right? Of course the rancid liquor does have some side effects. Turns out that anyone who drinks this Viper melts away in a hideous fashion. At the same time, two brothers find different ways to cope with homelessness, while an overzealous cop (Bill Chepil) tries to get to the bottom of all the deaths, all the while trying to end the tyranny of deranged Vietnam veteran Bronson (Vic Noto).

Sound like too much story for any one movie to handle? Well..you would be right. “Street Trash” is a mess and I’m not just talking about what happens to the hobos after they drink the Venom. Part “Dirty Harry”, part social commentary, part Troma flick, and part “Hills Have Eyes”, “Street Trash” doesn’t stay in any particular genre for very long. Just when you think the movie has settled into horror, we get crude comedy (fart jokes anyone?), just when you think it has settled into Troma land with body parts galore, the film turns into a cop drama. None of it really gels. You know what? It doesn’t matter. Why you ask? Because of the gore! Ohhh the glorious gore in this flick. You want to see a kalidoscope of killings? It’s all right here in just about every color of the rainbow imaginable. I’ve never seen death in a horror movie be so….beautiful. That’s right, it’s beautiful damn it and when the movie focuses on the gore it is a rousing success. The fx in this movie truly must be seen to be believed. This is the kind of little gem that isn’t for everyone and it is bound to offend most (rape, torture, homeless homicide..it’s all here), but it won me over with its low budget charm. Oh…and did I mention the gore? Check it out.

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Worst Horror Remakes: “The Amityville Horror” (2005)

Slasher StudiosAmityville Horror (2005)

I suppose I let myself down with this one. Amping something up for MONTHS usually doesn’t end in an amazing cinema experience. But neither does 89 minutes of jump scares and string-along storytelling.

To those very very few in the horror community unfamiliar, The Amityville Horror details the “its true because Hollywood says so” story of Ronald DeFeo who ended up murdering his family in a small Long Island town in 1974. A year later, the Lutz family moves in, and before you can say “OOGA-BOOGA”, everything comes out the woodwork, the father goes nuts and the mother is wondering how long her daughter will talk to her new “imaginary” friend.

To pinpoint this film’s troubles is, in itself, trouble. I should probably start off in noting that just about everyone involved with this movie said how close it was going to stay to the book. “The original is a classic, but we’d like to use the book”. Well if using the book means using the title page (which reads “The Amityville Horror: A True Story) well then they’ve succeeded. But instead of celebrating their glory, maybe they should have read a few more pages.

The novel by Jan Anson takes place in diary form. Each day (there are 28 that they stayed) is noted with what happened paranormal or otherwise. When the 1979 film came out, I can understand why this wouldn’t work in a horror form (many audiences reportedly got so annoyed with the “Day 1” “Day 5” “Day Whatever” set up that they cheered when “The Last Night” appeared on the screen). The 2005 remake takes to using 2 titles: Day 15. Day 28. Just a little odd don’t you think? One might get the idea to just scrap the title cards all together. After all, storytelling and film making has changed greatly since 1979 and title cards aren’t required.

Subtle scares that we’re once present in the book and original movie (the smell of perfume in an empty house, a disappearing stranger, moving of objects, moving shadows, etc) we’re instead scrapped for more “jump” thrills (so many in fact, that if you look at the “Scare Reel” of the DVD which has all the scary moments: its only about 2 minutes long. NOT very impressive) : the closing of a door reveals a dead Native American, the moving of a body reveals a hanging girl, a locked closet reveals said girl again. Sure they work for a second, but the dread and fear present in many other (far better) films stick with the mind longer than a jolt.

If only this one followed the original book as promised, a lot more could have come from it. It seems like everything was made as a quick teen cash in. The most obvious is the “hot babysitter” who is there for cleavage and pot smoking only. Oh, and to be locked in a closet. CGI GALORE and scenes that weren’t present anywhere in any original source material. For dramatic effect, one can understand, but when that little girl climbs onto the roof…come on. Maybe as a Long Islander and Amityville fan since 8 years old, I’m slightly jaded. It’s like someone babysat my child, beat him and handed him back telling me he’s good IF NOT BETTER than before. Hey…maybe it was the Lutz’s babysitter!

—Ryan Mason Burgos

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Horror Remakes That Don’t Suck: “Sorority Row” (2009)

Slasher StudiosSorority Row (2009)

While I have two other remakes that I consider more of my favorites, (Mother’s Day and The Last House on the Left), I wanted to do a review on this underrated gem, my 3rd favorite remake, Sorority Row.

Sorority Row is a remake of the 1983 film The House on Sorority Row. It tells the story of a group of sorority sisters; Cassidy (Briana Evigan), Jessica (Leah Pipes), Ellie (Rumer Willis), Claire (Jamie Chung), Chugs (Margo Harshman), and Megan (Audrina Patridge), who one night at one their parties decide to play a prank on Megan’s cheating boyfriend Garrett (Matt O’Leary), who is also Chugs’ brother. While making out with Garrett as the girls watch via Jessica’s laptop, Megan starts convulsing causing Garrett to freak because of the “roofies” he supposedly gave her. The girls manage to convince Garrett that Megan is dead and they need to hide the body. When they come to an empty mine area, they decide that the air needs to be out of Megan’s lungs to make her body sink in the water. But before the truth about the prank is revealed, Garrett plunges a tire iron through Megan’s chest. This time REALLY killing her. It is then decided that the night’s events shall be kept secret, despite Cassidy’s protests, and Megan’s body is dumped down a mine shaft along with the tire iron. Flash forward to the sisters’ graduation. When preparing for an end of year party, the girls start receiving texts from someone who knows their secret, and it is here that the body count of the sisters begins from someone in a hooded graduation gown and a deadly tire iron in hand. Has Megan returned from the grave, or is someone out to avenge her death? Who will survive the Theta Pi blood bath?

I honestly prefer this remake to its original. The original film is great, don’t get me wrong. But here I felt there was more fun to be had. A great cast of actresses, pretty likeable characters, great one-liners (a lot of dark humor here), and solid kills.

The Cast: Briana Evigan is solid as our heroine of the story, she’s a strong character who is not afraid to stand up against the Queen Bee, Jessica. Jamie Chung does great as Jessica’s side kick Claire. We actually hope she survives because we see that despite being with Jessica, we see that she has a lot of heart and regrets for what happened. Rumer Willis gives us the character Ellie. While I think Rumer did a great job, I basically hated the character of Ellie, all she does is scream and stammer in the whole movie. I was really rooting for her to bite it. Margo Harshman plays the drunk sister, Chugs, who is definitely one of the funnier characters of the film who provides a lot of humor to the film. Finally we come to Jessica played by Leah Pipes. Jessica is hands down my FAVORITE character. She’s the Queen Bee who takes her sense of humor to a huge extent to where she’s considered a bitch. She provides the most dark humor and one-liners in the movie. And in my opinion was the toughest of the girls and always took action. I found myself rooting for her the whole time.

The flaws: While I loved the cast and the very clever and symbolic kills, this remake did have its flaws. One of them being the character of Maggie (played by Caroline D’Amore), who is Megan’s sister. She’s barely in the movie, and yet she gets to be one of the 3 surviving girls. This pissed me off majorly consider we had more major girls to choose from to be the third. Hell I would’ve been satisfied with just the other survivors being the only ones. Maggie is just so damn annoying in it and Caroline’s acting didn’t help anything either. The other flaw is the identity of the killer. Sure we’re given a lot of possibilities and red herrings but instead we get a huge cliché and a terrible motive. Did these two flaws bring down the film for me though? Hell no.

This remake is a lot of fun with great characters, performances, kills, one-liners, a solid soundtrack, and great party sequences. It was a pretty great throwback to 80s horror. I was really disappointed this underperformed at the box office. Such an underrated remake.

–Cody Landman

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Worst Horror Remakes: “Psycho” (1998) Review

Slasher StudiosPsycho (1998)

For me, the worst remake is Gus Van Sant’s Psycho, which came out in 1998. I have watched this film more then once,but I still think it is terrible and it by far the worst remake. The main problem with this film is that it is a shot by shot remake that totally copies the original film.

Besides adding a few different things, which were terrible anyway, this film is just a terrible knock-off of the original film. This also is terrible for it’s off timing ,especially the shower scene, and the acting is very weak overall. Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates and Anne Heche as Marian Crane are the worst in the film. They portray the characters horribly. If I had one rule of film it would be to not remake a Alfred Hitchcock film. I see where Gus Van Sant tried to pay homage to Hitchcock’s film,but it just turned out to be a mess of a film.

But the plot is very simple and without spoiling anything here it is. After Marian Crane (Anne Heche) leaves town after taking a large amount of money from her job, she decides she wants to take off and see her lover played by Viggo Mortensen. One stormy night she stops at a small motel where meets Norman Bates (Vaughn). After a while, Crane decides what she did was wrong and wants to return the money. But will she make it in time to return the money or will someone stop her first? Norman’s Mother!!

–Justin Rhine

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Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “My Bloody Valentine” (1981)

Slasher Studios*Slasher Tweet Review

To end this beautiful sunny weekend we have a brand new review from our resident twitter reviewer Tim Schilling. Today Tim is getting out his pike ax to take a stab at the original 1981 cult classic “My Bloody Valentine.” Butchered by censors and critics and ignored by audiences, the Canadian slasher has grown quite the cult following throughout the years. But, is it a cut above the rest or is it a slasher that deserves to be forgotten? Let’s cut open this bloody heart and find out.

Thoughts before the film:
I’ve never seen the original #MyBloodyValentine. I have seen the remake though and I actually liked it quite a bit

Thoughts while watching:
0:01 Who gets frisky in a mine shaft!?
0:04 Don’t drop the soap.
0:06 This hillbilly music reminds me of Two Thousand Maniacs.
0:08 The guy who was dancing with the cutout and said “this is my date”…. me.
0:17 Oh Harry Wardon, you sly guy you.
0:25 This town sure does like valentine’s day…
0:27 I wonder if that’s what you really look like if you were to get stuck in a dryer.
0:27 Or, better question, how did the filmmakers know that’s how someone would look like!?
0:37 What a grumpy bartender.
0:50 Those are the nastiest looking hotdogs ever.
0:58 This mine shaft must have magic powers cause everyone who goes in it, ends up fucking. Or, at least trying to.
1:10 Oh, I didn’t know Barbra from NOTLD was in this. (someone please get this)
1:20 At least the police showed up while the killer is still around and not the second after he dies/runs away.
1:20 Not that they can do anything to help anyways. I mean, they’re the police and it’s a horror film. They’re useless!
1:27 Those last lines were really creepy… Beeee my bloody valentineeee.

Overall:
Not too sure why I liked #MyBloodyValentine. The plot was meh but the filmmakers made a meh plot into something entertaining & actually good.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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Simply Awful Remakes—-“Prom Night (2008) Review

Slasher StudiosProm Night (2008)

This movie could have been something special! I LOVE the original 1980 Prom Night, one of the “Jamie Lee Curtis Scream Queen Classics”. It is a very underrated slasher with one of the better whodunit mysteries. It has brutal death scenes, including one graphic decapitation that has a spectacular aftermath. The characters are well-developed, and the film had a good use of forward momentum story-wise.

When the remake was announced in 2004 (will the story have more of a supernatural bent?), I was genuinely excited. Not too many people know of Prom Night, and it is a little dated (disco dancing scene, anyone?), so it was the perfect candidate for an update. Out of nowhere, it was decided that the new Prom Night would be shot with a PG-13 in mind. Now, the thought of a PG-13 slasher flick seemed like an oxymoron to me. But the PG-13 rating has slowly been getting braver and bolder, so maybe not all hope was to be lost for the remake. Too bad that was wishful thinking.

Brittany Snow stars as Donna, a bright-eyed high school freshman. A teacher obsessed with her visits her home and kills her family in his search for Donna. He is quickly caught and sent to jail. Three years later he escapes from his institution just in time to crash the senior prom Donna is attending with her friends at a fancy hotel. (That is literally the whole film in a nutshell.)

The remake was HORRIBLE. It’s incredibly by-the-numbers. The storyline was better suited to a Lifetime movie-of-the-week than a theatrical slice-and-dice. While having a decent opening and setup, the plot was stupid. Taking out the mystery severely hurt the movie. Knowing who the killer was lessened any suspense the movie could have had. The characters were weak and interchangeable. If it weren’t for hair color and race, I would not have known who was who. While Jonathan Schaech as the obessesive teacher-killer was slightly inspired, his character lacked motive and menace. Can we talk about stupid character moves to serve the plot? The death scenes were also non-existent and incredibly bland. In fact, BLAND if the perfect word for the whole movie. Actually the acting isn’t too bad, but it’s nothing stellar. I’m actually having a hard time recalling much of the movie because it is just that forgettable. I’ve seen much scarier and more intelligent episodes of Nickelodeon’s Are You Afraid of the Dark?.

Had the movie strived to be an R-rated hardcore slasher with nice gore, I could be more forgiving, but this is the epitome of a lazy cash-in remake.
(Sidenote: Has anyone attended a prom where NO girl had a fancy intricate updo?)

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