Blood, Boobs, & Bad CGI: Cheerleader Massacre II (2011) Review

Slasher Studios*Horror

Cheerleader_Massacre_2_(2009)

Cheerleader Massacre II is everything you would expect from a bad slasher made in the late 80s. Only difference..it was made in 2011. A group of teen girls with big breasts are going to a cheerleading camp in the middle of the woods. Of course, being a slasher, this is something that is going to end badly for the most of them. We get a back story of a man stuck in the woods who finds a screaming teenage girl who has been stabbed with a screwdriver and is covered with blood. As they get into the car, neither can drive because neither can work a stick shift in one of the most hilarious “huh?” scenes of the film. Ohh…but there’s a twist you see….the girl was the killer the whole time and takes a screwdriver to the guy’s face.

What exactly does this have to do with the central story? Honest answer, not a whole hell of a lot. Why? Because the killer in question here is a flying robot that is a cross between the bowler hat from Meet the Robinsons and the sphere from Phantasm. Yes, a bad CGI killer mini robot is killing these nubile young girls in the middle of the woods. Lots and lots of nudity mixed with lots and lots of CGI blood. The acting gets worse as the breasts get bigger so watch out. Let’s be honest though, you aren’t going to check out Cheerleader Camp II for award worthy acting. If you are looking for a campy good time, you could do a lot worse than this one. It’s Friday the 13th meets Chopping Mall with the amount of breasts of a Sleepaway Camp sequel. If that’s not a recommendation, I don’t know what is.

Note: Nearly half of this film’s running time is spent in the shower. Whether this is a pro or a con is completely up to you.

2.5

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Vote “Don’t Go to the Reunion” For Best Horror Movie of 2013

Slasher Studios*Don't Go to the Reunion

Don't_Go_To_The_Reunion_Poster,_House(resize)

Hey slasher fans, Slasher Studios needs your help! 2013 was a fantastic year for us over at Slasher Studios with the release of our very first feature, Don’t Go to the Reunion. The reviews and the positive word of mouth have meant the world to us and we simply cannot thank you enough. If you enjoyed the flick, we want you to share the slasher love. Simply head over to twitter and use hashtag #hsa2014 to vote Don’t Go to the Reunion as your favorite horror movie of 2013. Dont forget Stephanie Leigh Rose for favorite scream queen, Steve Goltz as favorite director, and Spencer Harlan as favorite scream king. That’s all you have to do! Thanks again and hope you guys are having a bloody good new year!

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“Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” (2014) Review

Slasher StudiosParanormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Following his high school graduation, Jesse (Andrew Jacobs) begins to experience mysterious occurrences. He enlists in his friends Hector (Jorge Diaz) and Marisol (Gabrielle Walsh) to help him figure out what is going on. Along the way, the three friends uncover clues to secrets they never could have imagined.

The Marked Ones is a spin-off of the popular Paranormal Activity series. However, this doesn’t mean it’s branched off from the series completely. The film, while having a different storyline, perfectly fits into the series and answers several questions, while leaving room for the series to develop. As for the film itself, it is easily the best of the series. We are given characters we really like and root for and they are really well-developed to where we are given this opportunity. There is also never a dull moment. When there isn’t tension-filled moments, we are given fun and comical moments with the characters. It also keeps the viewer engaged from beginning to end with wanting to figure out the clues and mysteries along with the characters. Once that aspect gets going, it keeps going and doesn’t diverge from it. Keep an eye out for returning characters and references to the previous films. It makes the film that much greater to enjoy and piece together with the rest of the films. As far as the “found-footage” aspect. It uses this aspect in a better light. The camera use isn’t as referred to or made known like the other films. There were times when I found myself not even acknowledging it was a found-footage film unless it actually was referred to or was obvious.

We are given a group of very talented young cast members. Our three leads have very solid chemistry and really appear as a tight-knit group. When they have fun together it’s as if they are really having fun. But then once things begin to happen, we see the genuine concern in the actors playing Jesse’s friends. As our lead, Andrew Jacobs does a good job of carrying the movie. He does an excellent job of showing the different stages of Jesse’s persona changes throughout the film.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is an excellent entry to the series and the breath of fresh air it needed. It connects so well to the series while using a different storyline. It also gives us some fun and fairly tense moments as well as lovable characters played by a talented group of new faces.

–Cody Landman

3

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Kevin & Steve’s Horror Movies: “Flesh Eating Mothers” (1988)

Slasher Studios*Kevin & Steve's Horror Movies

flesh-eating-mothers

Kevin: Flesh Eating Mothers is the kind of horror movie that takes more chances than just about any horror movie released in the last year. In this 1988 cult hit, the woman of a small town are all turning into…well, flesh eating mothers. A sexually transmitted disease is taking over the neighborhood and all the women who have slept with the town “stud” are now infected. How’s THAT for a premise? Let’s just say, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Steve: The overall story is quite intriguing. These everyday suburban woman are in need of a little extra lovin’, but unfortunately get more then what they were looking for. Telling his wife he is going for a run, the town stud takes off in his sweats and meets up with the mothers. Leaving them with something a little extra, the mothers soon develop the taste and desire for human flesh.

Kevin: The effects are surprisingly well done and the makeup on the mothers after they have turned into the flesh eating beings is creepy as hell! This is a fun and cheesy flick, but with a darker script this could have been a very scary watch. If for no other reason, the face transformations of these murderous mothers is worth the watch.

Steve: With body parts gnawed off, faces ripped off, and lots of blood & gore, Flesh Eating Mothers is a like a buffet for the horror fan. With laughably bad dialogue and some of the worst acting to come out of the 1980’s (yes, that is saying a LOT right there), the movie is an instant camp classic. While it does run out of steam in the last act, the first hour is filled with some great delights of overacting and overeating. Dig in!

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Party Like It Is 1980: “New Year’s Evil” Review

Slasher Studios*Horror

Released in 1980, New Year’s Evil is yet another holiday themed slasher movie and back in the 80s it seemed to holiday, or event was safe from Halloween to Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Prom, Graduation and hell even slumber parties weren’t safe. New Year’s Evil is still early into the slasher cycle when the clichés were still in the early stages and while this is a slasher flick it’s also a little different from the norm in the 80s.

During a New Year’s Eve party broadcast on TV the host Diane (Roz Kelly) receives a call from an unknown killer (Kip Niven) stating he will kill somebody in each time zone; his voice is disguised (however we see his face so no spoiler there and the calls are hysterical I am EVILLL). He records each killing on cassette tape (blast from the past) and then after each murder he calls the show and plays the tape back.

The screenplay by Leonard Neubauer is the typical of its time with faceless victims with zero depth; we know who the killer is from the start at least in terms of looks and I think anyone with even half a brain should figure out his connection to Diane so the mystery angle assuming that was the plan is a failure and I have to think that was the point by Neubauer I can’t see him writing this as any kind of mystery. New Year’s Evil takes a different approach with the script in regards to the killer isn’t wearing a mask or disfigured and in many ways, Neubauer seems to also try and mix in more thriller aspects; while the screenplay has some entertaining moments and some decent comedy and a decent touch of family drama, which does add a little bit of depth to an otherwise sloppy screenplay, but in the end it’s brought down by the fact we know who the killer is and again its painfully obvious his connection to Diane so therefore the cops trying to figure things out doesn’t work as well it could have if the killer was kept hidden.

Director Emmett Alston delivers the standard slasher flick just without the gore and nudity these movies became known for; the direction is rather flat with very little in the way of suspense and tension and the production has much more of a TV movie feel rather than theatrical. The death scenes are decently staged, but they lack any real flair or any blood. New Year’s Evil is a little sloppy and at times not very well made, but it’s not a complete hack job either. New Year’s Evil has built up a nice cult following so I suppose Alston did something correct and despite the many flaws of the movie even I have to say I enjoyed the movie even if nothing really stands out.

The one thing interesting about New Year’s Evil are the primary characters are adults in their late 30s to early 40s; most slasher movies feature teen characters or characters in their early 20s so this for me stands out due to that, but older characters doesn’t mean they’re any smarter as Diane is a rather useless final girl and while the performance by Roz Kelly (best known from Happy Days) was fairly good, but again she was rather useless as the final girl and towards the end with the showdown with the killer she seems more than content with being a victim rather than fighting back.

Overall New Year’s Evil while in no ways one of the better slasher flicks of the 80s does work in that 80s slasher sort of way and fans of these films will totally understand. Everything here is rather pedestrian and the villain and his disguising of his voice is hysterical and you gotta love the way the guy is the master of disguises going from a worker at an insane asylum and even a priest.

–Dave Kaye

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Black Christmas (2006) Decks the Halls With Lots of Bodies

Slasher Studios*Christmas Horror Tournament

The film tells the story of a group of sorority sisters; Kelli (Katie Cassidy), Melissa (Michelle Trachtenberg), Lauren (Crystal Lowe), Heather (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Dana (Lacey Chabert), and their house mother Ms. Mac (Andrea Martin), who find themselves being stalked by an escaped psycho killer named Billy. It all begins with them receiving creepy phone calls, but as the sisters begin to notice that their other sisters are going missing, they realize that something is really wrong. When one of the missing girls’ sister (Kristen Cloke) appears to pick her up, she joins the girls in hopes of surviving the night. Merry Christmas Delta Kappa.

Let me start by saying that this remake is extremely bad and in no way comes close to being as good and amazing as the original. However, that doesn’t leave this viewer with a few positive things to say. The remake does try to follow the original, but what really ruins it is giving the killer a backstory, but also throwing an inbred daughter/sister in the mix. To me that’s what really prevented it from being good. The film is bad, but there is a lot of fun to be had here. It has blood/gore, hot girls, laughs, and a high body count. What more could you ask for with a mindless slasher? I will admit that it has some nice acting from its hot cast. Especially from Michelle Trachtenberg, Crystal Lowe, and Lacey Chabert. The film also has a surprisingly great atmosphere. It really sells the fact that it’s taking place on a stormy Christmas night, and it has that creepy empty house feeling with all the creepy noises an old house would make. The set design also throws it all together well. One other thing I felt this was really lacking a chase scene. Melissa does get one, but it is way too short, but I guess it’s better than nothing.

Despite what you may hear about this movie, I still highly recommend it. As long as you turn your brain off and just enjoy the great cast, kills, fun characters, and the atmosphere, you may just hate it much less. The original will always be amazing and a classic, but there is nothing wrong with a bad horror movie that will still provide some fun. Another note, forget everything you’ve seen in the theatrical trailer, because at least half of the footage does not exist in the film. Which is a huge disappointment.

–Cody Landman

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Not Quite Horror: A Christmas Carol

Slasher Studios*Not Quite Horror

Not Quite Horror contains reviews of films not traditionally considered horror films. By analyzing them as horror films (identifying the monster, discussing the shared worry for the audience and the main characters, and understanding the depth of horror available to the viewer), who knows? There’s more than one way to watch a movie.

A Christmas Carol (Various)

The Monster: Ebenezer Scrooge and all the evils inside of him. The cranky bastard endures visits from three spirits. They take him from his past, through his present, and into his future. With each visit, Scrooge faces the rottenness in his own soul.


The Horror: Few people grow as cold and callous as Ebenezer Scrooge, but even he cannot withstand repeated exposure to his failed humanity. The spirits tear him apart systematically, like an autopsy. They cut into him with images of his youthful innocence and first love, re-sensitize him to the human suffering all around him, and strip the last of his soul away by confronting him with his own death. Hellraiser’s Cenobites would be proud.

The Shared Fate: A Christmas Carol is as firmly entrenched in holiday culture as candy canes. More than this, the story (in book, play, film, or homage) is horrific as anything more traditionally associated with this genre.

Like Scrooges, horror fans explore the upsetting parts of their reality. The horror genre serves as spirits of Christmas past, present, and future. It also underlines the failures within humanity.

Genre fans can also experience the same joy Scrooge does when he wakes on Christmas morning and reconnects with humanity. Could Scrooge have experienced so much communal happiness without walking with horrors for a night? Perhaps Christmas is best experienced with a scare the night before.

–Axel Kohagen

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