The Luck of Friday the 13th

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**WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

I can’t remember how old I was when I first saw a Friday the 13th film, but I remember how it made me feel. When I was a kid everyone knew who Jason Voorhees was, and I was no exception; I knew the iconic hockey mask, I knew a little about where he came from and I knew he stalked a summer camp. At the time I had no idea which film I was watching, and I had even less idea what was happening but I do remember, however, seeing Jason briskly walking through the woods during the day. Jason roaming through the trees in the afternoon was a frighting sight! When my brother and I would stay with my grandparents in Virginia we’d be in the middle of the woods, so Jason became the boogeyman he had used to scare me, but I always knew once the sun came up I was safe. This film unraveled the security blanket I had made for myself and made me fear that hockey mask even more.

I eventually grew up and became more in-the-know about horror and I can now tell you that I was watching Part VI: Jason Lives on Joe Bob Brigg’s TNT show MonsterVision during one of his Friday the 13th marathons. I wouldn’t say that was a moment that sparked my love for this franchise, but it was definitely a defining moment in developing my eventual love for all things horror, especially Mr. Voorhees. That image of Jason in the woods had burned in to my brain and became the classic image of Jason for me without me even knowing it. Back in the day it seemed to raw and horrifying. When I watch the scene now, it doesn’t have the same oomph, but I love what it did for me as a kid.

Since then I’ve gone on to become a horror film junkie and John Carpenter’s Halloween helped me make bold choice to go to film school and I’ve made some successful short films of my own. Horror has been engraved in me for so long that I can’t remember how or why. It’s tough to remember what defining moment made you in to the person you are, but there is one hallmark moment that stands out to me: the moment I became obsessed with Friday the 13th.

I remember being in high school watching a marathon of the films and I was at the final scene of Sean Cunningham’s original. Alice, our hero portrayed by Adrienne King, had just decapitated the menacing Mrs. Voorhees with a machete. In an attempt to protect herself, she jumps in to a canoe and drifts off to the middle of the Crystal Lake. All is calm and serene while Harry Manfredini’s gorgeous synth finale kicks in giving us all a moment of relief just as a young Jason Voorhees leaps from the water and pulls Alice down to the waters below! Jason was supposed to have drowned as a child, so how can this be? In the Hospital scene that follows Alice asks about the young boy the in the water and with great care the Police officer must inform Alice that there was no boy. We’re left with great final shot of the calm Crystal Lake and some light ripples being formed from below.

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I was interested, but wasn’t completely hooked until I put in Part 2 and was greeted with a new killer wearing a burlap sack over his head. We find out through the coarse of the film that it is Jason Voorhees back to avenge his mother! He slaughters Alice during the opening minutes and then turns his attention to Camp Crystal Lake. As a viewer we’re left with a lot of unanswered questions such as is Jason a zombie? Did he ever really die? Where’s he been all this time? How did he survive? My mind was racing a mile a minute and this is the moment I can accurately say I became a Friday the 13th nut. I love everything about the franchise from it’s disjointed timeline, it’s kooky characters and it’s exploitative gore. I loved the characters, from Jason to the telepathic Tina in Part 7.

I’ve found myself becoming more and more obsessed daily the more I talk about Jason’s motivations and his true character elements. I love trying to rationalize the ever changing geography of Crystal Lake/Forest Green and trying to make sense of it’s strange timeline and inconsistencies. I love it all. I’ve even dedicated my body to my Jason love by getting his iconic hockey mask tattooed on my forearm. The Friday the 13th franchise has never been considered high brow filmmaking, but I never felt it should be. However, for a filmmaker to take up the reins of directing a Friday sequel, creativity is a must. It’s a challenge to pick-up where the last writer and director team left off. How do you write yourself out of a corner? Can you make sense of it? Is Jason even dead?! These are all questions one must ask themselves before idly picking up the hockey mask.

Fans of the franchise are some of the most passionately dedicated groups I’ve ever met. They care about the details down to how many holes Jason had on his mask in each film. Go to any of the major horror conventions around the United States and you’re guaranteed to find a man dressed in a Jason costume that he’s more than likely made by hand just so he can slave over the details. We obsess because we care. This franchise started off as a single film that was made with the intention of riding the slasher film high of the late ’70s/early ’80s and to do something different. A lot of the horror tropes we all know today came because of Friday the 13th. The franchise, much like Jason, became a monster in the world of marketing. Costumes, t-shirts, posters, lunch boxes and other such obscurities have all been made for this franchise. It’s because of this marketing that kids even today know when they see a hockey mask it means Jason.

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33 years later, with 10 original films, a spin-off, a re-make and a successful television show under it’s belt, the Friday the 13th franchise is as relevant as ever with an upcoming 13th film set for release in 2015. Jason is showing no signs of stopping because Jason Voorhees, like all boogeymen, is perennial and will always return in one form or another. There will never be a day that a kid won’t be afraid to go to summer camp in fear that a certain hockey masked killer may lurking outside their cabin.

I, for one, like living in a world where kids still have an irrational fear of a character such as Jason. With all the real-life terrors in this world, it’s nice to have one that’s not as bad in hindsight. Jason Voorhees is the blood-soaked Santa Claus of horror; you might not always believe in him, but he’s never going away. He’s just waiting.

About the Author
Michael Viers is an award winning filmmaker from Milwaukee, WI. He graduated from the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee’s with a Bachelor’s Degree in film and has made two successful short films during his stay at the university: From the Darkness Theatre which screened at the Short Film Corner at the 66th Festival de Cannes and Love You Still which debuted at the 2013 Milwaukee Film Festival. He’s currently trying to get more work writing articles about film and allocating resources to make his first feature film.

Click on the poster below to like the FB page for Michael’s award winning short film, From the Darkness Theatre:
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Not Quite Horror: “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (1989)

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Not Quite Horror contains reviews of films not traditionally considered horror films. By analyzing them as horror films (identifying the monster, discussing the shared worry for the audience and the main characters, and understanding the depth of horror available to the viewer), who knows? There’s more than one way to watch a movie.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

The Monster: Clark Griswold. It would be difficult to find a more loveable and well-meaning monster in the history of film, but his monstrosity stands for itself. Clark (Chevy Chase) refuses to compromise on his fantasies of idyllic family holiday time. Spoiled by doting parents and encouraged by an overly forgiving wife (Beverly D’angelo), he will stop at nothing to recreate his own childhood, even if he ruins Christmas for his own children in the process.

The Horror: By the time the Griswold family Christmas is ruined, Clark has nearly killed his family in a car accident, killed himself decorating, and killed his neighbors with reckless behavior. Clark is unable to recreate his childhood fantasy of a perfect Christmas, in large part due to Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) also refusing to give up on his childhood. Ignoring the children in the house, Clark puts on his Santa outfit and grabs a chainsaw . . .

The Shared Fate: Adults are all survivors of childhood, but some adults never really get past it. Clark is so committed to recreating his childhood joys he orders Cousin Eddie to kidnap his boss. He thinks he does so in jest.

Who will be holding you hostage this holiday season?

— I am indebted to Noel Carroll’s The Philosophy of Horror for his ideas on defining horror, as well as John Skipp and Craig Spector’s article “Death’s Rich Pageantry, or Skipp & Spector’s Handy-Dandy Splatterpunk Guide to the Horrors of Non-horror Film” in Cut! Horror Writers on Horror Film for a similar idea.–

–Axel Kohagen

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Kevin & Steve’s Horror Movies: “Crinoline Head” (1995)

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Kevin: Crinoline Head is the best 80’s slasher that happened to be made in the 1990’s. Everything about this movie screams 80’s slasher. Unlikable, stereotypical characters. Check. Innovative deaths. Check. Fun, cheesy dialogue. Check. Creepy backstory. Check. Whodunit mystery. Check. I just had a blast watching this film though your mile may vary depending on how much you love a good-bad slasher (this movie is obviously made in the likes of such campy classics as Sleepaway Camp). This movie is self aware but never mocking and has a genuine appreciation for both its subject matter and its character. It knows exactly what type of movie it is. The only question is, is this a movie that will work for you? Well, that depends. It is uber-low budget and it takes about about an hour for the killings to start.

Steve: Although it takes a bit for the deaths to begin, the start of the film is still able to keep you attention with the great one-liners and very…unique characters. The line delivery and overall acting ability was far too god for a film of this budget, so many props go out to the casting director for finding believable actors.

Kevin: What works about this movie? The clever, inventive screenplay and go-for-broke performances by a more than game cast. This movie is instantly quotable and has a sense of fun that is missing from a lot of the most popular slashers today. Check out the trailer below. If it looks like something you might dig, you probably will. If you are groaning and barely able to get through these two minutes, stay as far away from this slasher as possible.

Steve: Mostly likely, you will spend more time talking about the actors and their incredible wardrobe choices. Perfect 90’s shirts and denim paired with interesting looks and personalities help create an unforgettable film. Whether you like this slasher or not, you wont soon forget it!

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Not Quite Horror: “Frosty the Snowman” (1969)

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Not Quite Horror contains reviews of films not traditionally considered horror films. By analyzing them as horror films (identifying the monster, discussing the shared worry for the audience and the main characters, and understanding the depth of horror available to the viewer), who knows? There’s more than one way to watch a movie.

Frosty the Snowman (1969)

The Monster: Professor Hinkle. His hat brings snowman Frosty to life. Frosty is a simple, trusty soul who would be banished into the void without this hat, but the lousy magician insists upon having it back because the hat is his property. Hinkle never seems to grasp morality beyond the concept of private property, and is only sent packing when Santa threatens to stop bringing him more material possessions to obsess about.

The Horror: Hinkle chases Frosty and his friend Karen into the dark of the woods. When Frosty brings Karen into a greenhouse to keep her from dying of exposure, Hinkle locks both inside. Frosty melts to the ground because he chose saving his life, and the life of a little girl, over returning a hat to an unstable man. This slow, deliberate murder could come from an animated Saw or Hostel film.

The Shared Fate: Frosty teaches children and adults that sweet, innocent things can be destroyed because it pleases the selfish desires of one monstrous human being. What does it offer as a solution? Santa Claus saves the day and promises Frosty can return each Christmas because he is made of Christmas snow?

There is no comfort in this for any child looking past the singing and dancing. The innocents taken away are not made out of Christmas snow, after all.

— I am indebted to Noel Carroll’s The Philosophy of Horror for his ideas on defining horror, as well as John Skipp and Craig Spector’s article “Death’s Rich Pageantry, or Skipp & Spector’s Handy-Dandy Splatterpunk Guide to the Horrors of Non-horror Film” in Cut! Horror Writers on Horror Film for a similar idea.–

–Axel Kohagen

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Kevin & Steve’s Horror Movies: “The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid-Row Slasher” (1979)

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Kevin: The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid-Row Slasher is quite possibly the strangest “slasher” I’ve ever seen. The entire 60 minute running time is a variation of a few scenes. Our lead Johnathon Click hires a few “photographer’s models” (hookers) for a night and ends up strangling them before any of the sex happens. This is shown at least a dozen times and it really is something umm…to be seen. Johnathon is in love with the woman who runs the neighborhood used “book” store (the set design is so bad that there are barely more than 20 books shown in the entire store and a dresser drawer is her cash register?!) and even though he has never spoken to her (no one speak at all during this film because he no live sound was recorded), she knows that she is the one.

Steve: So, we know who the Hollywood Strangler is, but who is the Skid-Row Slasher? Well my slasher friends, you must watch to find out. Or just watch the first quarter of this film, as the last 3 quarters are pretty much just a reply. Jonathan is out for, as Joe Bob Briggs says, sluts. And boy does he find some. Some of the sluts are not too bad looking, but some are… well… less desirable.

Kevin: This movie is all sorts of bad. With a budget in the “low four figures” it has a cheap, documentary style feel to it that actually helps the film. The performances are all decent even though they are given nothing to work with and there is a decent amount of very fake gore. The highlight? The wonderful Joe Bob Briggs commentary on the DVD. He is a joy to listen to and will tell you anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the making of this flick. Good stuff!!

Steve: All in all, this film is worth a watch, even if just for the great comedy of Joe Bob. So, do the movie it’s justice and check out the feature. Then, if you can make it through the repetitive nature of this VO filled film, you must treat yourself to the commentary. The laughs Briggs can bring will be worth the cost of the DVD.

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Slasher Studios Picks: Top 5 Thanksgiving Turkeys

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To help celebrate Thanksgiving, we are at Slasher Studios have decided to share with you our top five favorite turkeys. Movies that were awful in every sense of the word and yet…we couldn’t stop watching. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

5. Troll 2
A young child is terrified to discover that a planned family trip is to be haunted by vile plant-eating monsters out of his worst nightmare. His attempt to save his beloved family is assisted by the specter of his deceased grandfather. Also, there are NO trolls in this movie, only goblins. Nilbog is Goblin spelled backwards! This movie is retched from beginning to end but damn is it fun to quote.

4. Jack Frost
Serial killer is genetically mutated in car wreck on the way to his execution. After which, he becomes a murdering snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him. Shannon Elizabeth’s “carrot” scene is the highlight for this film which doesn’t say much. Terrible Fx as well (was the snowman’s costume made out of Styrofoam?).

3. Pieces
While playing with a puzzle, a teenager is repressed by his mother, and he kills her and severs her body with an ax. Forty years later, in an university campus in Boston, a serial killer kills young women and severs their bodies in parts, stealing body pieces from each student. Lt. Bracken makes a deal with the dean of the campus, and infiltrates the agent Mary Riggs as if she were a tennis teacher and together with the student Kendall, they try to find the identity of the killer. BASTARD! BAAAAAAAAAASSSTTARD!

2. Slaughter High
A group of popular students play a cruel prank on a shy nerd resulting in a terrible accident. Years later a reunion is held where each of the students face a stalker killer who may be the same nerd out for revenge. Hilariously over-the-top with some of the worst acting you’ve ever seen. Also, what is up with the ending? No clue what they were thinking there.

1. The Last Slumber Party
From United Entertainment/VCI, the VERY small 1988 distributor in Oklahoma, who gave us the legendary home video, no budget hit BLOOD LAKE, which IMDb doesn’t even have in its database and that doesn’t surprise me. That one had the same no-budget atmosphere and completely unknown teen actors that, like in this film, only starred in one film. Sample dialogue: `I’m loaded and I feel like throwing up, could you please pass the Jack Daniels?’ `There’s a party tonight at my house, would you mind if I invite myself?’ `I THINK he’s schizophrenic, why don’t we give him a partial lobotomy?’ And the science teacher that looked exactly like one of the science teachers that I had in high school. And he started talking about how he got laid at the prom. Oh my God.
(Info from horror7777 from imdb for Last Slumber Party, I personally could find NOTHING on this film)

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