Awesomely 80’s: “Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death” Review
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death is the sort of B-action comedy that, on first glance, plays like a sleazy soft-core porn. I mean the film begins with a group of amble women giving themselves a bath under a waterfall for Christ’s sake. The dialogue plays as dumb, the characters are idiotic, and the situations are ridiculous. But then, out of nowhere, the film pulls the rug out from underneath the viewer. It becomes smart, witty, and a perfect feminist piece.
In Jungle of Death, the government takes matters into their own hands and hires a feminist professor (played by Shannon Tweed in a comedic performance that is both sincere and sexy) at the local university to track down the piranha women living in the uncharted Avocado Jungle. The piranha women have already kidnapped one professor (the lovely Adrienne Barbeau who makes every movie she appears in better). She takes along a young, sweet but dumb as dirt college student named Bunny and hires a guide at the edge of the jungle (a very sarcastic Bill Mahar who isn’t nearly as annoying as you’d think he’d be) to find the piranha women.
What follows is a fairly clever and very funny take on the struggle of men vs. women. Not every joke work and the film does seem to take its sweet time finding a point but it is very funny and the go-for-broke cast sells every minute of it. Highly recommended!
Not Quite Horror: “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” (2005)
Not Quite Horror contains reviews of films not traditionally considered horror films. By analyzing them as horror films (identifying the monster, discussing the shared worry for the audience and the main characters, and understanding the depth of horror available to the viewer), who knows? There more than one way to watch a movie.
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (2005)
The Monster: This Oscar-nominated documentary about Enron may be factual, but its narrative comes straight out of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The company grows under the mad-science tinkerings of Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling. The mad scientist owners pumped their creation full of risky investments and creative accounting regarding the costs. Unable to stay alive, the Enron Frankenstein died of bankruptcy.
The Horror: During its meltdown, the Enron monster was more Godzilla than Frankenstein. Jobs were lost. Companies were ruined. Presidents and former presidents were mentioned. One Enron executive committed suicide.
The Shared Fate: With every purchase we make, with every job we take, we are reminded decisions made by companies of every size can affect the entire world. The bigger the company, the bigger the group of people that company could potentially affect.
Most of these relationships are positive. We can eat what we want to eat and we can find the products we want to buy.
When one of these giants is tainted by mad scientists and becomes hurtful, its footprint can smash cities.
When a documentary reminds us we are all vulnerable. A monstrous company may not leave craters or bonfires in its wake, but Enron demonstrated it can leave destroyed households and tragedies just the same.
— I am indebted to Noel Carroll’s The Philosophy of Horror for his ideas on defining horror, as well as John Skipp and Craig Spector’s article “Death’s Rich Pageantry, or Skipp & Spector’s Handy-Dandy Splatterpunk Guide to the Horrors of Non-horror Film†in Cut! Horror Writers on Horror Film for a similar idea.–
–Axel Kohagen
Slasher Studios Nominated For 9 Peculiar Film Festival Awards
We at Slasher Studios are pleased and quite honored to announce that our three short films (Blood Brothers, Popularity Killer, and Teddy) have been nominated for a total of NINE Peculiar Film Festival awards!! You the horror fan get to decide the winners. The voting ends on Friday, March 8th so vote soon for your favorite Slasher Studios film. Thanks again everyone for all of the support! We couldn’t do it without you.
To vote:
Peculiar Film Festival Awards
Horror Movie Posters: “The Granny” (1995)
The artwork for the 1995 film, The Granny, splashes with the bright color of yellow. Oddly enough, this is not a very brightly shot film, as it takes place in a dimly lit and somewhat dreary mansion. The visuals are pretty good though and really help this stand out in a see of other movies. The insane looking Stella Stevens catches the eye right away. She gives off the evil vibe instantly and then the eyes trickle down to the beautiful Shannon Whirry, with her clothes torn and plenty of skin showing. Overall, a very interesting piece of art, much like the film itself.
“The Leaf Blower Massacre” is Delicious, 80’s Style Slasher Cheese
As soon as I watched the trailer for “The Leaf Blower Massacre” a few months ago, I knew it was a movie that I had to check out. With a great tongue-in-cheek tone and a killer tagline (“When autumn arrives, no one survives”—-brilliant), I was ready for a campy 80’s style horror short that would bring me out of the dull 2013 horror movies (Does anyone really care about movies like “The Last Exorcism II”? I don’t think so.) and into the world of sleazy 80’s cinema that I have been craving lately. Does “The Leaf Blower Massacre” deliver or is it just another run-of-the-mill homage?
From director and co-writer Anthony Cooney and co-producer/co-writer Josh Stephenson, “The Leaf Blower Massacre” begins as a couple is attacked and killed in broad daylight by a mysterious man with a deadly leaf blower. This turns into quite possibly the most hilarious chase scene I’ve seen in years as an overweight man is the one being hunted down and not the nubile female. Take that feminists who say slashers are misogynistic! The scene had me cracking up and it was a terrific way to start the bloody goodness.
With sharp cinematography and a great soundtrack, this 12 minute gem stands proud with some of my favorite SOV classics from the mid 80’s. It isn’t a perfect film as the transition from campy slasher to serious slasher in the final act is a bit abrupt but it IS a lot of fun. Check out the trailer below and don’t be surprised to see this slasher blowing your way to a film festival near you.
Not Quite Horror: “Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy” (1996)
Not Quite Horror contains reviews of films not traditionally considered horror films. By analyzing them as horror films (identifying the monster, discussing the shared worry for the audience and the main characters, and understanding the depth of horror available to the viewer), who knows? There more than one way to watch a movie.
Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)
The Monster: Roritor Pharmaceuticals rushes happiness-creating drug Gleemonex onto the market. When Gleemonex users fall into comas, forever remembering their happiest memory, Don Roritor (Mark McKinney) attempts to cover up the scandal by first hiding the victims and then bribing the victims’ family in exchange for silence.
The Horror: The Roritor company itself is a nightmare, where a person’s job can be lost in a moment. CEO Don Roritor is so egotistical the rugs in the company are changed so they match his socks. One scientist in the company is working on a drug for the exclusive purpose of giving drugs to ex-girlfriends.
The rest of the world isn’t much safer. The police are incompetent. Couples fight and lie about who they really are. A bird impales itself in a man’s eye. Hundreds gather to hear a droning metal singer denounce happiness. Miserable, these people turn to Gleemonex, only to end up in comas.
The choice presented in the comedic Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy is simple. Suffer, or die.
The Shared Fate: Most people who live in industrial societies depend on medication. Gleemonex may be a fictional product, but medical mistakes are a very real concern.
Then there’s the problem of happiness. Normally, a person’s best memory would make for the perfect Hollywood ending. However, for takers of Gleemonex, their Hollywood ending never actually ends. Imagined for longer than a moment, can this pleasant prison truly be considered happy, especially if there are no other emotions to compare it to?
The Kids in the Hall comedy troupe were never far away from horror (for example, watch this sketch). Brain Candy, on its surface, seems too silly and uneven to be frightening. Beneath the surface of the flawed film is a world where “life is shit and then you die.â€
The preceding quote comes from a miserable cap driver (also played by Mark McKinney). He is so bitter he is almost unlikeable, but at the end of the movie he proclaims himself a hero for not pursuing happiness in his life. If he’s the hero, is there any doubt this movie takes place in a kind of hell?
— I am indebted to Noel Carroll’s The Philosophy of Horror for his ideas on defining horror, as well as John Skipp and Craig Spector’s article “Death’s Rich Pageantry, or Skipp & Spector’s Handy-Dandy Splatterpunk Guide to the Horrors of Non-horror Film†in Cut! Horror Writers on Horror Film for a similar idea.–
–Axel Kohagen
Kevin & Steve’s Horror Movies: “The Granny” (1995)
Kevin: Directed by Luca Bercovici, “The Granny” is one strange horror comedy with a lot of unlikable characters and a very attractive but very bland final girl. This is exactly the kind of movie that should work but does thanks to a terrific performance by Stella Stevens as the title character. I admire an older actress that is willing to do anything and everything it takes in order to get a cheap laugh.
Steve: The cast within The Granny is a fun and diverse mix of age and personality. You’re not going to find any breakthrough performances here, but all are solid and get the job done. The Granny herself kills it with a few hysterical one-liners and iscomplimented by the more serious and professional Stella Stevens role.
Kevin: You see Granny’s family is a pack of vultures who want her dead in order to claim her inheritance. When a strange man offers her a magical elixir that promises to keep her alive (and beautiful) forever, she accepts. But..she doesn’t listen to the rules and all breaks loose.
Steve: The rules are very clear and Gremlins-esque, but of course, things do not go as planned. We have a crazy cat, a lot of blood and some very inventive and gory deaths. The family of crude and rude misfits plot against Granny in an hour of greed and get everything that they deserve.
Kevin: Wanna see a fur coat come to live and bite an evil hag of a woman to death? How about an elderly woman deep throat her decaying husband who has been dead for years? It’s all very strange but somehow it works. The dialogue is sometimes quite clever (though granny is given one too many one liners for my taste) and the actors sink their teeth into these roles with gusto. It definitely isn’t perfect and the CGI effects both at the beginning and at the climax are all sorts of awful but it is fun.
Steve: What this film my lack in budget, it makes up for with some inventive and unique camera work and interesting angles. It will definitely catch you off guard and can even take you out of the film at moments, but overall, I feel the oddness of this film this is what The Granny thrives on. If you are into experimental camera work and mean old ladies, then this film should be on the top of your to-watch list!
Cast & Crew Needed for Slasher Studios’ First Feature: “Don’t Go to the Reunion”
From the creators of the award winning Teddy, Popularity Killer, and Blood Brothers, comes a brand new horror feature from Slasher Studios. An homage to 80’s slashers, Don’t Go To The Reunion, will be shooting from April 20th to May 3rd in the Fox Valley area. We are currently looking to bring on both cast as well as crew members. For the cast, the roles we are looking to fill are listed below. For the crew we are looking for the following: A Director of Photography, sound design/boom operator and grips for this two week shoot. If you are interested in helping out on this project, please send us an email at [email protected].
Plot synopsis:
Scott is the ultimate high school horror fan who is looking for a Final Girl in his life. He is teased endlessly by the popular students but believes his luck has changed when the most popular girl in school asks him out on a date. When it turns out to be a prank, he feels as though his life is ruined. Flash forward ten years and the gang is back for the class reunion. Little do they know that someone is waiting for them. Is Scott back for revenge? Will they survive the night to find out? The class of 2003 thought high school was killer, too bad the reunion will be murder. Scott loved his horror movies….to death.
Character bios:
Male roles:
Christopher (mid-20’s, supporting)— Erica’s high school boyfriend. He is the preppy, rich kid who has now become an arrogant hipster running his own music label.
Brandon (mid-20’s, supporting lead)–The good looking popular kid with a good heart. He was against the original plan from the beginning. He is now a youth counselor for troubled teens with emotional problems.
Jeremy (late teens-early 20’s, supporting)–Scott’s best friend and slightly more attractive and less socially awkward. He is more brazen in his attempts to become popular and loves horror movies just as much as Scott.
Female roles:
Jessica (mid-20′s, supporting)—- Once one of the most popular girls in high school, Jessica is a mother of three and given up on life. Peppy as hell, she tries to make her own insecurities by being “happy” all the time.
Erica (mid-20′s, lead)— The pretty, popular girl who asks out the tormented Scott. She has changed the most since high school and is now a successful, high profile lawyer. Beautiful and stunning, she is attractive as she is intelligent.
Megan (mid-20′s, supporting)–Once a popular and cute girl-next-door yearbook student, Megan has grown up to resent her past as well as her friends as she attends community college.
Kimberly (mid-20′s, supporting)–Joe’s wife after high school. Married for five years to Joe, she has grown to hate him. She knows about the prank and thinks he has turned into an asshole. She is very attractive but is slightly on the trashy side. She is also incredibly arrogant and sarcastic.
To watch our previous films: