Don’t forget, this Saturday, December 8th, TEDDY will be playing alongside the award winning film BRUTAL on December 8th as part of a fundraiser to benefit Operation Kindness, North Texas’ oldest and largest no kill animal shelter. It’s a great cause and we hope to see a packed house for help those little guys find homes. Lots of amazing horror celebrities and special guests as well. For more details, check out the event page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/510672102294586/
I’ve spent the last two hours trying to accurately put into words my feelings towards the horror anthology flick “V/H/S.” To say the film as a whole is a bit of a mixed bag is to overly simplify the matter. For every element that works in “V/H/S,” there is an element that fails and fails miserably. My most anticipated movie of the year ended up being something I wasn’t expecting but more on this later. Are you in the mood for a tasty and gruesome schmorgesborg of horror? You might want to be prepared to eat something a little halfbaked. Slasher Studios will be reviewing the individual stories and giving a rating to each as well the film as a whole. Ready to press play?
“Tape 56â€
Rating—1.5/4
Our wraparound story and by far the weakest segment of the film. We meet a group of unlikable guys who are getting paid to create their own little snuff films. Films featuring such acts as mugging and assaulting young women, recording underneath girl’s skirts, and other lewd behavior. They will receive the ultimate prize if they break into an old man’s house and steal a rare VHS tape. When they arrive at the house, the old man is dead and the crew is forced to look through the “snuff” VHS tapes to try to find the killer flick. Not a bad premise but the characters are hateful, disgusting, and without any traces of humanity. We do not care a bit about any of these characters and therefore can hardly be expected to show emotion when the terrible things begin to happen to them. This wraparound segment is far too long, features too many jarring cuts, and ends before the final story even starts. What kind of a wraparound story is that? Not a very good one, that’s for sure.
“Amateur Nightâ€
Rating—2/4
The first of our VHS stories begins as we meet three buds out for a night on the town as they are getting ready in their hotel room. One of the college aged frat boys is wearing a set of glasses with a hidden camera in it to check out the women at the clubs in all of their glory. The trio meet a couple of girls they find desirable (for college guys it doesn’t take much) including a strange young woman who resembles a young Susan Sarandon crossed with Rose McGowan with a little bit of panther. No..I’m not kidding. Yet, like the guys in this story, there is something about the girl that is oddly appealing. Well, things go a little on the crazy side and the guys are attacked by….something. Let’s just say this story owes a LOT to the “Lover’s Vow” segment in “Tales From the Darkside.” “Darkside” did it first and did it better. Once again, annoying characters and overacting sink this story from the moment it starts.
“Second Honeymoonâ€
Rating—2/4
The segment I was most excited to see as I am a huge fan of Ti West’s earlier work (“The House of the Devil” and “The Innkeepers”) but sadly, this is the story that turns out to be the biggest disappointment. “Second Honeymoon” begins as we meet a young couple on a road trip through Arizona. The couple are excited about their trip to Vegas and decide to film their adventures. They go to an old Wild Wild West ghost town, explore some caves, and even do a little exploring of each other. They spend the night at a dirty hotel and are watched in the middle of the night by a strange woman in a mask and cloak. The woman steals money from the couple of disappears. So far, so dull. The next night she returns to attack. Lots of blood can’t cover up a half baked ending that sounds great in theory but doesn’t work in reality because we don’t receive any reasoning behind the decisions made. Ti West, you can do better than this.
“Tuesday the 17thâ€
Rating—-3/4
What’s this? We finally receive a good story an hour into the film? That’s right kiddies, we have our first worthwhile story with “Tuesday the 17th,” a nice little homage to 80’s slashers. In this story, we meet a group of four teens who are on their way to do some camping in the woods. When one of the girls warns the others they are all going to die in the woods, the crew begin to die in hilariously gruesome ways. Turns out you can only see the killer while viewing the killer through the video camera. That “distortion” on old VHS tapes…that’s him, and he’s ready to kill. No, it doesn’t make a lot of sense but it is a lot of fun and fun is something I wouldn’t call any of the stories that preseeded this one. Take it or leave it but if you are a fan of slasher flicks, don’t be surprised if this ends up being your favorite story.
“The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Youngâ€
Rating—-2/4
Chalk this story up to the “interesting concept, so-so execution” category of anthology flicks. “Emily” begins as we meet the title character, a young woman having a webcam conversation with her boyfriend. She tells him of a strange lump on her arm that has been bothering her and a mysterious presence haunting her in the house. As the days go by, the conversations become more and more bizarre and she tries cutting out the “lump” in her arm much to her boyfriend’s horror. Is she going crazy or are these strange things really happening to Emily? The twist ending in this story is clever but leaves too many questions opened. It is as if the filmmakers came up with the ending at the last minute and said “Wouldn’t it be really cool if…” It doesn’t really work but I give them points for trying.
“10/31/98â€
Rating—3/4
Another batshit crazy story as we meet a group of four college aged guys (this movie sure does love frat guys) getting ready to go to a Halloween house party at a friend’s house. One of the friends is dressed as a teddy bear with a camera (he’s a nannycam, get it?) and he is there to document to footage of the crazy house party. When they get to said house, no one appears to be home until they hear noises coming from upstairs. When they arrive upstairs, they find a young woman chained up by a couple of middle aged men ready to torture and torment her. They are able to break her free but all hell is about the break loose..literally. What happens next is every over the top cliche in haunted house flicks you can think of in a two minute span of time. It’s so demented and off the wall, it left a smile on my face. This story doesn’t overstay it’s welcome and goes out with a bang. Literally…
Overall
Rating—2/4
I feel as though I am being overly generous with this score as I love the concept behind this movie SO much, I may have let it cloud my judgment. It isn’t a perfect film but it does at least try to do something different with the horror genre. For that alone, it is very much worth watching. The next horror masterpiece? You’ll have to find another “VHS” tape.
–Kevin Sommerfield
Our favorite Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with the last zombie tweet by tweet review for the Return of the Living Dead series. Tonight he will be looking at zombie sequel “Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave.” The film received, like Necropolis received some terrible reviews from critics and fans alike upon release and, also like Necropolis, Lion’s Gate sent the film direct to Syfy. The real question remains…is this film as bad as that unholy awfulness? Let’s dig in and find out.
Thoughts before the film:
Last one in the series… Wish me luck. #RaveToTheGrave
Thoughts while watching:
0:02 Another long and pointless opening scene of a car driving down the road…
0:08 Oh no it’s the same characters from the last movie, why are they still alive.
0:11 Come on you were in the last movie, you should know that they’re zombies!
0:20 I feel like I’m watching a detective movie.
0:22 Drugs is the answer!
0:27 If you can’t trust your drug dealer than who can you trust?
0:35 Hahahaha what the heck is going on.
0:50 I missed tar man.
0:53 These Romanian guys are so random and funny.
1:00 3/4 of this script is brains and boobs.
1:02 This movie only wins because tar man.
1:07 These guys were in the last movie! They forgot all about zombies it seems.
1:27 Poor tar man, no one will let him in their car. He’s just standing there all alone.
Final Verdict:
Well Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave was definitely an improvement. Overall, just completely ridiculous that you can’t hate it
To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios
From the first scene throughout the last we follow a homicidal maniac bent on giving the naughty residents of a small town just what they deserve. Malcolm McDowell plays the sheriff and he’s hilarious with his sarcastic one liners and sharp wit that he’s known best for when dealing with these holiday horror flicks. This flick pulls no punches and isn’t afraid to be overtly brutal as one by one people fall to gruesome ends.
It’s hard to review a flick like this without throwing out a few spoilers, and I’m gonna try to avoid that. What you can expect though is a definite homage to the idea of the original concept (Santa Claus only brings presents to those who have been good all year, and punishing lethally the naughty ones). There is a catatonic grandfather (as in the original) that awakens briefly to warn you of how “Christmas is the scariest damn night of the year” and even the antler impalement has been redone. All of the characters in this film that go out of their way to show the audience just how undeserving of a merry Christmas that they are get theirs, don’t worry, and in very shocking, over the top cruel ways. The body count is very high compared to most of the recent slashers, but really falls along the same slew of slayings as you’d see in your 80’s horror flicks with each death looking extremely realistic with the special effects, which are very well done.
The back story of the killer is revealed, and in my opinion, a little stupid and dull compared to the original’s in which you actually felt sympathy for Billy. The killer should have remained anonymous, as I think that dumbs down the plot slightly, and the final climax battle for survival lacks a little luster based on how graphic the kills and buildup were, but the film fares out well regardless and the tension is still retained.
There is no Billy, no Mother Superior, no orphanage; but there is a good amount of psycho Santa flair that I think reboots the series in a traditional method.
I’m so glad that the remake finally saw the light of day and it’s not nearly as horrible as many others that have graced the circuit. This isn’t one to avoid. It might not be everyone’s cup of egg nog but for what it’s worth it is definitely worth a look!
–Houston Fisher
To buy from Amazon: Silent Night
Filmed 2 years before “Black Christmas”, yet released the same year, this seasonal shocker revolves around a dark secret several prominent members of a small town share in regards to a large mansion on the outskirts of the community.
When the living heir of the estate announces he intends to sell the property to the committee (to be destroyed), an insane mental patient escapes a sanatorium and comes home for a visit.
Whereas “Black Christmas” features calls coming from a killer that’s hiding inside the house already, “Silent Night, Bloody Night” deals with the murderer calling each of the people that they intend to take vengeance on one by one, inviting them to the property. Fearful that their secret may be discovered (a pretty disturbing one at that, which I will not reveal for those who may have not seen it or would like to), they each visit the old dark house that they hate so much and long to destroy forever.
One by one they suffer the revenge of an old friend who whispers softly to each one of them on the phone: “Come see me, I’m lonely…”
This film features a young Mary Woronov who, in my opinion, plays her role very well. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that she has a very “Laurie Strode” quality about her in this one. People who get to see this underrated classic, pay attention to the final climax chase scene at the end. When you hear her screaming and whimpering, you’ll see what I mean.
I love this movie and watch it annually every year.
I recommend checking it out on the Mill Creek Chilling Classics 50 Pack compared to other sources I’ve found, because it’s much more touched up than its VHS release on Paragon and even has additional scenes.
–Houston Fisher
Eli Roth’s 2003 Cabin Fever featured some great graphic design concepts that were worked into the posters as well as the DVDs. The most prominent and well known cabin fever poster is pictured above. The trees and cabin form a skull-like graphic that is subtle yet easy to see and makes for a very unique piece. This was also the cover art for the DVDs and Blu-ray’s. There were a number DVDs that also came with a 3D slip cover with the skull fading in and out.
Another poster for Cabin Fever gives the onlooker a straight reference to the film. If you have never seen the film before and have no idea what it is about, then the artwork shown on this poster will give you a small glimpse of what is to come.
This took forever to create and I’m sure there are going to be a lot of horror fans out there that are going to disagree with either the ranking or the choices on this list. These are not the BEST slashers I’ve ever seen but these are merely my favorites. I’ve seen just about all of these at least 20 times each and I could watch them at least another 20 more. Don’t forget, we want YOUR list of favorite slashers. Send us your top 3 to [email protected] and the top 20 vote-getters will be announced just in time for Christmas!
1. Black Christmas (1974)
2. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
3. The Burning (1981)
4. Scream (1996)
5. Friday the 13th (1980)
6. Halloween (1978)
7. Happy Birthday to Me (1981)
8. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
9. Night School (1981)
10. House on Sorority Row (1983)
11. He Knows You’re Alone (1980)
12. Killer Party (1986)
13. Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
14. Humongous (1982)
15. Sleepaway Camp (1983)
16. Slaughter High (1986)
17. Hell Night (1981)
18. My Bloody Valentine (1981)
19. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
20. Child’s Play (1988)
***I’m happy to say that all but one of these titles have been voted for in the slasher challenge. Can you guess which movie on my list has zero votes so far?
Our one and only Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with another zombie tweet by tweet review. Tonight he will be looking at zombie sequel “Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis.” The film received harsh reviews from critics and fans alike upon release and Lion’s Gate sent the film direct to Syfy. Does the film deserve its reputation or is there something here that is worth watching? Let’s crack open this zombie and see if the brains are still fresh.
Thoughts before the film:
First review I’m doing in a long time… Don’t ask why I picked this one. #ROTLDNecropolis
Thoughts while watching:
0:02 Chernobyl is such a cool place.
0:08 The zombie rules aren’t consistent in this series. Only part I and II seem to be the same.
0:09 Oh, rain spread the zombie virus, they never did that before.
0:13 Wow this kid is a drama queen.
0:19 So far it seems 90% of this movie is filler just to make it 90 minutes long.
0:28 That dirk bike scene was completely pointless. 15 minutes wasted.
0:32 This is just ridiculous.
0:34 This girl can’t ride a bicycle without crashing but she can ride a dirt bike? Comeon.
0:39 “Nice pooper”… what.
0:50 I don’t understand where all of these random characters are coming from.
0:54 Send more security guards… Nope you ruined it.
1:08 Every single horror movie cliche just happened in one minute. I didn’t know that was possible.
1:09 I don’t want any of these characters to survive the whole movie.
1:17 New drinking game: take a shot every time someone goes to shoot their gun and there’s no more ammo left
1:21 Yes it’s over!
Final Verdict:
I don’t even know what to say about Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis. Like, I’m not one to hate someone’s work and call it shit cause I know the hard work that goes in it but that was just bad
To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios
On Christmas Eve, a small group of sorority girls started getting obscene phone calls from the previous of owner of the house, Billy, and one by one the girls start getting stalked and killed off. Could it be Bill returning to his childhood home or could it be some random maniac?
Black Christmas or Black X-Mas is a somewhat remake of the original Bob Clark classic slasher, Black Christmas. The 2006 film is directed by Glen Morgen and in my opinion his work besides the “Final Destination” series is under looked and doesn’t get the respect the films deserve especially Black Christmas. I would actually say that it is not really a remake and it can stand on it’s own as a film. Except for a few homages to the original and the title, it’s a different film compared to Bob Clark’s film and if the original never existed then I think more people would enjoy it.
I love the gory kills, one liners from the girls and sorority mother, the fact that most of the girls fight back, the cool twist towards the end about the killer, the fact Andrea Martin is return back from original now playing the sorority mother, and much more. I would put this film in my top 10 or top 15 favorite modern slashers, and it’s definitely a Christmas horror favorite I watch every year. To me it’s a perfect modern fun slasher film.
If you want to re-watch it to get a second opinion if you didn’t like it the first time or if you haven’t seen the film yet then go in open minded and look at it as a totally different film from Black Christmas (1974).
Happy Holidays everyone!!
–Justin Rhine
