Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Exorcist II: The Heretic” (1977)

I have made it clear on many occasions that I am not a big fan of the supernatural subgenre of horror movies. While they can be done well, too often they resort to boring cliches (a door slamming a much of times just isn’t scary to me). That being said, “The Exorcist” is an undisputed classic of the “possession” subgenre, rightly so. The sequel, “Exorcist II: The Heretic”, not so much. Today our Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling takes a look at the black sheep of the exorcism family.

Thoughts before the film:
Gonna be honest: I like The Exorcist, but I don’t like it as much as everyone else seems too. And people aren’t too keen on #Exorcist2 so…

Thoughts while watching:

0:03 Good thing I spent 4 years learning Spanish so I could understand nothing when someone actually speaks it.
0:10 I’m not religious at all, but movies like this that mess with religion always creep me out.
0:18 This scene with the flashing light thing is pretty freaking creepy.
0:21 Holy fuck. Demon Reagan in the glass.
0:32 Reagan grew up very… nicely.
0:36 The music in this is pretty damn creepy, I think it’s perfect.
0:41 Oh no not the flashing light thing again!
0:45 Pazuzu you and your creepy screams/chants are freaky as fuck, don’t give me nightmares.
0:52 “what’s the matter with you?” “Oh, I was possessed by a demon!”
1:07 I saw Scary Movie way before this so I always think of that scene when she’s peeing everywhere when they play this song.
1:30 I feel like this hypnotizing machine thing was just a bunch of peoples’ ideas in one just for this movie.
1:39 The taxi driver was like, lol bitch why u wanna go to that demon place!?
1:48 Trying to wrap my head around this whole story…

Final Verdict:
Everyone who said The Exorcist 2 was terrible is a hater. The story was great, it mixed so well with the first movie. I’m not a fan of these types of movies usually but I really liked this one. Also: awesome music.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: Resurrection” (2002)

About a month ago, we posted a scathing review of Halloween: Resurrection from one of our horror reviewers, Joshua Dean. He gave the film zero Teddys and declared it to be one of the worst horror movies he has ever seen and an insult to the entire franchise. Today our resident twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is going to share his take on film with a brand new tweet by tweet review. Let’s see if he has a similar reaction…

Thoughts before the film:
Last Halloween movie I own and then I get to move on to something else, hurry up! #HalloweenResurrection

Thoughts while watching:

0:04 That was the lamest way to have Michael survive the last movie. Such a cop out.
0:15 Such a terrible way to have Laurie finally get killed off.
0:29 Don’t act ever again Tyra.
0:40 I like how they abandoned the characters they created in the last movie.
0:41 What kind of set doesn’t have someone at the doors to keep people from walking in?
1:01 Did these people seriously think they were in a house that wasn’t rigged or anything?
1:05 I don’t understand, how hard is it to jump out a window?
1:19 Trick or treat mother fucker!
1:25 I am in complete shock that he was alive at the end! No way.

Final Verdict:
#HalloweenResurrection was a boring story that was probably written in a day. Kind of glad that they did a remake instead of another sequel.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: H20” (1998)

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back attacking the “Halloween” franchise with a brand new review of “Halloween: H20.” The most successful of the “Halloween” sequels making $75 million worldwide on a budget of just $18 million, the film was the marked return of Jamie Lee Curtis to the series. The film received solid reviews in its original release but many have felt it hasn’t withstood the test of time. Let’s dig in and see if Michael is as sharp as ever or if his blade has become dull.

Thoughts before the film:
Halloween H20 is probably the movie I remember the least from the series. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing!

Thoughts while watching:

0:02 I had no idea Joseph Gordon levitt was in this movie! Awesome.
0:11 Michelle Williams too? How come I never knew all these people were in this movie?
0:20 Why do girls ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom?
0:32 That’s pretty messed up of Michael Myers to ruin the best day holiday for Laurie.
0:33 What’s Michael waiting for? 20 years to pass so they have a name for this movie.
0:38 Having your mom as one of your teachers must be pretty weird.
0:52 This movie is so freaking cliche, every single line.
0:54 I thought everyone knew Laurie was from the murders and stuff… Why is this guy acting so shocked?
0:56 No, no you will not be right back. Haven’t you ever seen Scream?
0:59 Told you you weren’t gonna be back!
1:04 This score is definitely taken from another movie, but I can’t for the life of me think of what one.
1:05 I kinda liked the way Michael and Laurie saw each other for the first time in 20 years. Simple but it worked.
1:11 Honestly, if you were to cut off Michael’s arm with an axe, what would happen?
1:20 So she cut off his head… I wonder how they’ll explain that one.

Final Verdict:
Halloween H20 was one of the most cliched movie I’ve ever seen. That being said, I thought that the story was actually decent, besides the fact that Michael comes back after 20 years out of no where with no explanation whatsoever

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers” (1995)

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is starting the weekend with a return to Haddonfield and a look at one of the black sheeps of the Halloween series, “The Curse of Michael Myers.” Released in 1995 to some of the worst reviews in years, the film was a disappointment for both fans as well as Dimension which had recently picked up the rights to the series. Starring a young Paul Rudd, how does the film hold up 17 years later? Get out your knives kiddies and get ready to dig in.

Thoughts before the film:
I’ve seen all the movies in this series at some point, but I’ve never sat down and actually watched any of the later sequels. Over time these movies just blended together cause I saw them when I was younger, half hiding my face under the blanket! #Halloween6

Thoughts while watching:

0:05 They like remixed the theme song for this one. I’m not feelin it.
0:09 I probably should have watched Halloween 4 & 5 before this so it would have made more sense.
0:10 Lol @ Paul Rudd! He’s so young in this.
0:23 I can’t wait until this fat guy dies. Michael better kill him.
0:28 He finds a kid in the bathroom… A true prom night dumpster baby?
0:31 Only in America you get security called on you when you ask for a doctor to see your baby.
0:38 OH MAN. The scene when Michael is in his house again, this scare the shit outta me as a kid. I remember this perfectly.
0:45 |> I made the thorn.
0:49 I don’t know if it’s my DVD or the actual movie, but the audio sounds TERRIBLE at some parts.
1:04 You watched her die from across the street! Why even bother checking if she’s still alive?
1:07 You aren’t Michael Myers, you can’t just jump outta the window and survive like that.
1:08 Those people in the black with the masks and stuff, I’m not even gonna question why they came up.
1:17 Holy flashing lights. You’re gonna give me a seizure.
1:23 Michael bleeds green… Alright.
1:23 Rip Donald Pleasence! I didn’t know they dedicated the movie to him.

Final Verdict:
I liked Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers mainly for the nostalgia feeling it gave me of being so scared so much of a movie as a kid……but for the movie itself, kind of all over the place. I didn’t care for the characters or story much at all. But! Still entertaining.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Voices” (2008)

Tim Schilling hasn’t had a lot of luck with the horror genre lately. Our resident Twitter film critic has given 1 “Teddyhead” to four of the last five horror movies he has reviewed. Today he is back with a brand new review of a After Dark Horrorfest selection “Voices.” Will it break his “bad movie record” or will it be another terrible flick to add to the burn pile?

Thoughts before the film:
#Voices is the only movie from After Dark Horrorfest 3 that I haven’t seen yet, hopefully it ends on a good note! Also, this movie is in Chinese or something and has subtitles and isn’t dubbed. This may be difficult.

Thoughts while watching:
0:03 Whenever I watch an Asian film I can’t tell if the actors are really good, or just don’t care about the performance.
0:05 I wish my high school had fencing as a sport.
0:08 I wonder If she’ll really get in trouble for hugging a guy…
0:14 Geez, these guys know how to make a fucked up movie.
0:20 I’m kinda scared to go to any Asian country with all of these curses their movies say they have.
0:27 You must be kinda crazy if you’re the smartest kid in an Asian school.
0:29 The school doesn’t call her parents that their daughter killed someone…?
0:33 Your teacher tried to kill you, why don’t you tell anyone!?
0:40 Everyone wants this bitch dead, if she would die so many other lives would be saved!
0:41 I don’t get it, are there police in Asia!? Just call them!
1:02 Trust no bitch.
1:09 Use your fencing skills and fuck shit up!
1:09 …or get stabbed before you can even get to the sword.
1:17 Just die so you can stop this curse already!

Final Verdict:
I haven’t seen many Asian horror films, but I really dug #Voices. Good story that was really messed up, shot very good and awesome music, It was kind of depressing how messed up it was though. But I’ll be watching more Asian movies soon if they’re similar.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “The Amityville Horror” Double Feature (1979 & 2005)

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with a double feature this time of both the original “Amityville Horror” as well as the well liked Ryan Reynolds “Amitville Horror” remake. This is the first time we have down a twitter review double feature so let’s see how it goes and let’s see which one of the two horror flicks Tim thinks is a cut above the other.

The Amityville Horror (1979)
Thoughts before the film: Original ‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬. The remake will be the next movie I watch. I have never seen either, haunted house movies aren’t my thing. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve seen the ending to this movie a bunch of times. One of my earliest horror movie memories.

Thoughts while watching:
0:09 If the side of the house didn’t look like the freaking devil, I’d love to live in it.
0:16 Sneak into someone’s house, get attacked by flies. Karma, bitch.
0:17 That thing that screamed get out made me pee my pants. I dont do ghost movies cause they scare the shit outta me.
0:21 Dads in movies are always so brave to go down in the basement. Fuck that, I won’t go near the basement.
0:25 Little do they know, all the ghosties are watching them do the nasty.
0:29 If I wake up at 3:15 tonight I’m gonna cry.
0:34 Oh okay so my house used to have the same flooring as the house in this. Am I gonna be haunted tonight?
0:37 Nuns are overdramatic.
0:46 Nice headpiece.
0:48 Oh man she really wanted to get out of the closet. Her knuckles were bleeding after a minute.
1:00 George is getting a little grumpy.
1:10 This movie has way too much filler in it.
1:19 Jodi, your eyes scared me. You’re a jerk.
1:24 Hey lady you gotta pay for breaking my wall.
1:25 Oh no there’s something under the stairs. I need my dog right now.
1:28 Something as simple as turning the cross upside down is terrifying in this movie.
1:32 When horror goes all religion like, it freaks me out. I really don’t know why.
1:33 Like, that guy just went blind. What the heck! Que the creepy music.
1:34 Oh fuck me. Where were those drums coming from!?
1:36 Thank god my cat just came clawing at the door. He ain’t leaving my room.
1:47 What’s a pig doing in your house?
1:49 I bet they were waiting until the house started bleeding to finally decide to leave.
1:51 The dog asshole, get the dog!
1:53 It’s tar man from ROTLD!

Final Verdict:
After all of the horror movies that I have seen, ‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬ is honestly one of the scariest. Even though it is really dated, it’s scarier than most crap that is made today.

The Amityville Horror (2005)
Thoughts before the film: Remake this time!

Thoughts while watching:
0:04 I can never take Ryan Reynolds seriously. I just always think of him in Waiting and Just Friends.
0:08 The house isn’t as creepy looking as in the original.
0:15 I like that they have the same mirror in the bedroom as the original, they were unique and weird looking.
0:18 But I don’t like, is that they’re actually showing the ghosts…
0:19 I find it hilarious that this little girl ends up playing the bad ass Hit Girl in Kick-Ass.
0:24 Fuck ghost movies, not this again!
0:31 LOL, this babysitter.
0:34 I wouldn’t be able to stay in a house where people were murdered at.
0:46 Um what are you doing on the roof?
0:50 What I like a lot about the remake, is that the kids play a bigger part than they did in the original.
0:57 You killed the dog, you’re dead to me.
1:03 The guy saying GEEET OUUUT in this one totally failed, no way did it match the original one.
1:11 Why do all remakes have to try to be stylish? They all look exactly the same.

Final Verdict:
‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬ improved in some parts over the original a lot, which I thought was really good, but it went over the top when it tried to be as scary as the original. The entire ending didn’t work, & the fact you could see the ghosts this time made it less scary.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Deadly Species” (2002)

A few days again I mentioned how we felt deeply sorry for Tim Schilling. FOUR, count em FOUR, one Teddyhead movies in a row with no end in sight. Today we have a review from the last movie from the dreaded Walmart 8 pack from hell entitled Deadly Species. It can’t be as bad as the rest..can it?

Thoughts before the film:
Should I be like everyone else and watch Friday the 13th or something different? And that something different is called Deadly Species, the last movie on that 8 DVD pack I’ve been struggling to finish. Thank god this is the last movie in the 8 pack. I can’t handle anymore bad movies.

Thoughts while watching:
0:03 Someone who digs for fossils would not have painted fingernails. Just no.
0:10 I bet these people are making up words, what the heck is a colusfakada? I don’t even know what they’re saying.
0:15 But why is there a piece of grass going across the lens.
0:24 You’re kidding me right? You were tying your shoe, you were standing ON the bag and you didn’t see it!?
0:29 Haha the name of the generator was Generac… Good old greeking.
0:34 I wish I could find the gates to hell next time I went digging for fossils.
0:37 There aren’t enough tweets in the world to explain just how wrong this movie is.
0:39 Woo 40 minutes in and we finally see the monster creature alien thing!
0:55 It’s always a good idea to shoot into the dark when you can’t even see the target.
0:57 Oh what’s wrong, you’re bored of staring at the computer screen? Don’t talk to me about being bored.
0:58 This just turned into a really bad porno.
1:03 They said the name! I didn’t think the movie would be corny enough to do but it did.
1:09 I like puppets better than CGI, at least this looks corny in the good way.
1:19 Drinking some water stopped this guy from turning into a monster. A lot of thought was put through this.

Final Verdict:
I’m probably one of like 5 people to actually watch ‪#DeadlySpecies‬, and I know why. I don’t think I have to explain myself.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Junior” (2003)

Poor, poor Tim Schilling. Buying horror movie 8 packs from WalMart, you gotta admire his dedication in watching every single one of them. If that isn’t a true horror fan, I don’t know what is. Well, today we have another horror flick from the 8 pack of death. This one is titled “Junior”, will it break the bad movie curse?

Thoughts before the film:
I ain’t got nothin to do, so I’ll try to finish this terrible DVD 8 pack. Next up, ‪#Junior

Thoughts while watching:
0:02 Already regretting watching this.
0:10 I think I paid more for this DVD than what this film’s budget was.
0:15 I’m starting to feel as if this movie is more about their car than anything else.
0:21 Hehe I saw you cameramen shadows.
0:32 Every single one of these actors has an accent coming from who the hell knows where.
0:34 I think the car is the bad guy in this movie.
0:35 I sit down and do nothing when someone is banging on the top of my car too!
0:39 I’d love to see the script for this movie. “The car shakes as it growls at the bimbo”
0:40 Aw, too bad there’s an actual person doing the killings. I was really hoping it was the car.
0:43 “It’s barbecue time, you fuck!”
0:55 (said the name)
1:15 This guy keeps on calling an old lady a slut…
1:19 This guy is so mean to his son, too bad the acting is terrible cause otherwise I’d actually feel bad.
1:25 I’ll just pretend to be your mom, and then light you on fire (again) when you’re not looking.
1:29 Oh please don’t let there be a sequel.

Final Verdict:
If ‪#Junior‬ had a better crew behind it, I think it coulda been a decent movie. The story was good, but I don’t think it was carried out well

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “Zombie Honeymoon” (2004)

Hope everyone is having a wonderfully bloody 4th of July today as we celebrate with another twitter review from our resident guest critic Tim Schilling. It should be no surprise to anyone that I adore slasher films (it is, after all, the name of this site). Well, as much as I love slasher flicks, Tim loves zombie action. Today he is back with a brand new review of “Zombie Honeymoon.” Should be a match made in horror heaven, right?

Thoughts before the film:
I saw this movie a while ago, and I don’t remember if I liked it. It’s different from what I usually watch. #ZombieHoneymoon

Thoughts while watching:
0:06 This couple is really weird, like I don’t know how to explain it without showing. WEIRD.
0:10 I wonder what the chances are that you’re alone on the beach during the summer, and a zombie comes outta the water?
0:17 “It’s okay, you’re a zombie and bit me, I liked it” -bimbo girl.
0:21 You’re afraid of getting boring, so you both quit your jobs and leave your apartment. I don’t get it.
0:24 This grown man is overly excited about everything that happens to him. He’ll probably die if a bug lands on him.
0:30 I bet on every page of this script you’ll see “I love you” a least 5 times.
0:37 You already ate the fat guy’s face off, you aren’t a vegetarian anymore.
0:44 Jersey accents….
0:44 “sorry for biting her”.
0:53 Portuguese zombie doctors, best in the business.
1:09 I wonder if they intentionally made the guy look like zombies from the original Dawn of the Dead.

Overall:
Romance and horror seem like it’s impossible to combine. I’ll give #ZombieHoneymoon props for trying to do it. The first hour didn’t work. At all. But the last 20 minutes improved A LOT, and if the whole movie was like the ending, it would have been a great horror romance movie. #ZombieHoneymoon

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

Tim’s Slasher Tweet Reviews: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974)

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with another bloody good slasher review. This time Tim is taking on the immortal “buzzworthy” slasher classic: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Does it still hold a edge 38 years after its original release or is it a classic that has not withstood the test of time? Get out your chainsaws and start hacking as we find out.

Thoughts before the film:
Gonna watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre… yes? The original #TexasChainsawMassacre!

Thoughts while watching:
0:00 Apparently #TheTexasChainsawMassacre is wildly popular cause I’m getting retweeted and favorited like a mofo right now!
0:05 In 2001 Maniacs when Eli Roth’s character throws an armadillo at the car, #TexasChainsawMassacre reference anyone?
0:12 10 minutes in and I think I now know everything I need to know about killing a cow.
0:17 That dude was freaking weird and completely random. What the heck just happened!
0:18 Let’s get sliced open from a random freak and read horoscopes guys.
0:21 The guy who kept on going back to wash their car, way too funny.
0:29 Franklin sounds like Donald Duck.
0:39 I can imagine this movie being terrifying when it first came out.
0:46 Sweet Jesus Leatherface, your screams are freaking me out.
0:50 Sassy Sally.
1:01 Smackin Sassy Sally with a broom.
1:11 Grandpa’ is alive!? Or I don’t even know, what the heck just happened.
1:15 There’s the Psycho reference I’ve been waiting to see all movie.
1:17 Tobe Hooper is a very over dramatic filmmaker, but it works perfectly for this movie.
1:18 Sassy Sally is always jumping through windows like she does it on a daily basis.

Overall:
I honestly did not know that #TheTexasChainsawMassacre was as scary as it was. From the weird&creepy music to the seriously frightening screams of Leatherface,#TexasChainsawMassacre is one of the scariest films Ive seen.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios