PG-13 Horror That Doesn’t Suck: “Disturbia” (2007)

Slasher Studios*Family Friendly Horror

Here’s my vote: “Disturbia” (2007), PG-13. This dark little gem famously owes a debt to “Rear Window,” but it’s not a rip-off or a retelling. It shows how much suspense and dread can arise from a solid script and believable characters — in this case, Shia LaBeouf as Kale and David Morse as his increasingly creepy neighbor, who may or may not be a serial killer. Kale’s father is killed in a car wreck in the first harrowing sequence, which just makes it that much harder to watch when his mother ends up in danger. And they’re such nice people, and they LIKE each other — how can the audience not get sucked in?

The film also contains one of my favorite exchanges:
“It reeks in here!”
“What’s it smell like?”
“The corpse of a rotting hottie!”

I’m not sure how family-friendly rotting hotties are, but the sex and violence are fairly muted, with much left to the imagination… my parents probably would have let me watch it if it had come out when I was a kid. And it’s nice to see a movie about a teen who loves his parents and his friends. I was surprised to find myself pretty unnerved the first time I watched it, and it holds up to the occasional re-watching. It’s a movie with a definite male point of view, but the women are fairly three-dimensional and don’t spend all their time being threatened and/or rescued; the flick even passes the Bechdel Test, technically. Also, Shia LaBeouf. Also, David Morse. What’s not to love?

–Jay Sorensen

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PG-13 Horror We Love: “Poltergiest III” (1988) Review

Slasher Studios*Underrated Slasher

Hearing Kevin Sommerfield (editor’s note: That’s me!!) talking about Poltergiest 3 in his review made me what to talk about how I feel about this film. Poltergeist 3 is so underrated, and the most hated film in the series. But for me, I love it and it’s my favorite sequel by far.

Carol Anne (Heather O’ Rourke) has been sent to live with her Uncle, Aunt, and cousin in a tall Chicago apartment building. When Carol Anne is trying to move on from her past, and forget what happen to her, the dark evil preacher, Kane, is back for Carol Anne, and causing chaos for Carol Anne and her family. Will Carol Anne, and her family be able to stop Kane or will Kane win in the end?

Like I said, Poltergeist 3 is the most hated film in the franchise and it is very underrated. But for me, I love it and it really deserves more respect as a film in the franchise. I actually prefer it over Poltergeist 2 (1985) because it is totally different compared to the previous two films. I love the fact that it takes place in a tall Chicago building with mirrors for walls because that creates something creepy especially when you see Kane through the mirrors and the fact that even though Carol Anne has so many places to hide Kane always seems to find her. Also, Kane himself in this film is creepy too and he is one of the reasons why this movie creeped me out as a kid, and kinda still creeps me out now. I also love the actors and actresses in this film especially Nancy Allen, Lara Flynn Boyle, and Heather O’ Rourke. It is sad to always watch the film though because of Heather O’ Rourke passing before the film was finished. But out of everything in this film, Heather O’ Rourke really holds the film up to being as great as it is. I don’t think the film would be as good if Heather O’ Rourke wasn’t in it.

Also, the film has great effects, and scenes that you will remember when you finish watching it like the parking garage scene with the snow, the puddle scene in the parking garage, when Carol Anne first gets attacked by Kane, the opening scene, the last scene involving Nancy Allen’s character and Kane, when a character gets their skin pulled off the side of their face, and much more. Also, the atmosphere is another reason that the film works so well because it creates some chilling moments when you watch it. Poltergeist 3 isn’t as good as Poltergeist (1982),but it is by far my favorite sequel in the series and one of my favorite PG-13 horror films. I don’t think the whole family would be able to watch this film and even the series with younger kids,but if teenagers want to start getting into horror films then I recommend this film along with Part 1 and 2.

–Justin Rhine

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“Surveillance” Builds Tension With Excellent Cast, Surprising Twists

Slasher StudiosSurvelliance

Violence in film is so common movies routinely compete to outdo their predecessors with bigger, bloodier kills. Surveillance reverses this trend by taking one violent act and slowing down the audience’s perception of the event until they are forced to reexamine what witnessing violence means to those left behind.

Two FBI agents (played by Julia Ormond and Bill Pullman) force the survivors of a horrible crime to explain what happened, in detail. Separated into different rooms and recorded electronically, the witnesses display the emotional scars they have already endured before taking the audience through the crime. Detail by detail, Surveillance builds the tension until the crime actually occurs, and nothing will be the same for anyone involved.

Director Jennifer Chambers Lynch captures the stark beauty of a small town day, and then the tension (from a script she co-wrote) becomes almost unbearable as she builds to a rare and beautiful thing in horror films – a sunny day nightmare. The plot twists are vulnerable to spoilers, but Surveillance is so well-crafted it cannot be spoiled, and is worth watching twice, when all its surprises are gone.

Surveillance boasts an excellent cast. Ormond and Pullman are great, but dramatic performances by Cheri Oteri and French Stewart may be the most pleasant surprises in the film. French Stewart is particularly creepy in his role, and proves he could headline a horror film if ever given the right opportunity.

Jennifer Chambers Lynch is often compared to her famous father, David Lynch. Surveillance establishes her own directorial vision and technical merit. The film is haunting and disturbing in equal measures; it is alternately terrifying and saddening.

–Axel Kohagen
@mrhorrorpants on Twitter

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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “The Amityville Horror” Double Feature (1979 & 2005)

Slasher Studios*Slasher Tweet Review

Our resident Twitter reviewer Tim Schilling is back with a double feature this time of both the original “Amityville Horror” as well as the well liked Ryan Reynolds “Amitville Horror” remake. This is the first time we have down a twitter review double feature so let’s see how it goes and let’s see which one of the two horror flicks Tim thinks is a cut above the other.

The Amityville Horror (1979)
Thoughts before the film: Original ‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬. The remake will be the next movie I watch. I have never seen either, haunted house movies aren’t my thing. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve seen the ending to this movie a bunch of times. One of my earliest horror movie memories.

Thoughts while watching:
0:09 If the side of the house didn’t look like the freaking devil, I’d love to live in it.
0:16 Sneak into someone’s house, get attacked by flies. Karma, bitch.
0:17 That thing that screamed get out made me pee my pants. I dont do ghost movies cause they scare the shit outta me.
0:21 Dads in movies are always so brave to go down in the basement. Fuck that, I won’t go near the basement.
0:25 Little do they know, all the ghosties are watching them do the nasty.
0:29 If I wake up at 3:15 tonight I’m gonna cry.
0:34 Oh okay so my house used to have the same flooring as the house in this. Am I gonna be haunted tonight?
0:37 Nuns are overdramatic.
0:46 Nice headpiece.
0:48 Oh man she really wanted to get out of the closet. Her knuckles were bleeding after a minute.
1:00 George is getting a little grumpy.
1:10 This movie has way too much filler in it.
1:19 Jodi, your eyes scared me. You’re a jerk.
1:24 Hey lady you gotta pay for breaking my wall.
1:25 Oh no there’s something under the stairs. I need my dog right now.
1:28 Something as simple as turning the cross upside down is terrifying in this movie.
1:32 When horror goes all religion like, it freaks me out. I really don’t know why.
1:33 Like, that guy just went blind. What the heck! Que the creepy music.
1:34 Oh fuck me. Where were those drums coming from!?
1:36 Thank god my cat just came clawing at the door. He ain’t leaving my room.
1:47 What’s a pig doing in your house?
1:49 I bet they were waiting until the house started bleeding to finally decide to leave.
1:51 The dog asshole, get the dog!
1:53 It’s tar man from ROTLD!

Final Verdict:
After all of the horror movies that I have seen, ‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬ is honestly one of the scariest. Even though it is really dated, it’s scarier than most crap that is made today.

The Amityville Horror (2005)
Thoughts before the film: Remake this time!

Thoughts while watching:
0:04 I can never take Ryan Reynolds seriously. I just always think of him in Waiting and Just Friends.
0:08 The house isn’t as creepy looking as in the original.
0:15 I like that they have the same mirror in the bedroom as the original, they were unique and weird looking.
0:18 But I don’t like, is that they’re actually showing the ghosts…
0:19 I find it hilarious that this little girl ends up playing the bad ass Hit Girl in Kick-Ass.
0:24 Fuck ghost movies, not this again!
0:31 LOL, this babysitter.
0:34 I wouldn’t be able to stay in a house where people were murdered at.
0:46 Um what are you doing on the roof?
0:50 What I like a lot about the remake, is that the kids play a bigger part than they did in the original.
0:57 You killed the dog, you’re dead to me.
1:03 The guy saying GEEET OUUUT in this one totally failed, no way did it match the original one.
1:11 Why do all remakes have to try to be stylish? They all look exactly the same.

Final Verdict:
‪#TheAmityvilleHorror‬ improved in some parts over the original a lot, which I thought was really good, but it went over the top when it tried to be as scary as the original. The entire ending didn’t work, & the fact you could see the ghosts this time made it less scary.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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PG-13 Horror That Doesn’t Suck: “The Skeleton Key” (2005)

Slasher Studios*Family Friendly Horror

Caroline Ellis (Kate Hudson), gets a job caring for Ben Devereaux, an elderly man recently suffering from a stoke that he had in the attic of his home. His wife Violet (Gena Rowlands) is hesitant about hiring Caroline. Insisting she won’t “understand the house”. However, their estate lawyer Luke (Peter Sarsgaard), convinces her she won’t find anyone better. As Caroline begins to care for Ben, she starts to discover more secrets about the house. But the more she discovers, the more she finds herself and the Devereauxs in danger. Can Caroline save herself and the elderly couple from falling victim to the house’s haunting past?

While it is basically known that great PG13 horror is a rarity, The Skeleton Key is one that I’m my opinion succeeds on every level. Granted it does have its occasional lame jump scares, but in the long run its the build up and atmosphere that gives the film its suspense. As the story progresses, the viewer becomes more and more engaged in the mystery of the house till the film’s shocking ending. I remember when I saw this in theaters and I was tensed through the entire last act. And by the end of the movie my mind was blown. It also has amazing performances by Kate Hudson (who really should do more horror/thrillers) and Gena Rowlands.

The Skeleton Key is one PG13 horror film that severely separates itself from the shitty ones. It provides everything a person wants from a horror film, and quite honestly it fits perfectly. I can’t see it being much different if it were R rated other than more opportunities to drop the F bomb.

–Cody Landman

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What’s in the “Crawlspace”? Genre Clichés, Over-the-Top Kinski

Slasher StudiosCrawlspace

With a one-line premise requiring very little back story, Crawlspace provides actor Klaus Kinski with the opportunity to create what may be the goofiest creep in slasher cinema. The rest of the film, with the exception of some of the lighting and set pieces, can’t keep up with Kinski’s manic glee.

Kinski plays Karl Gunther, a landlord with a penchant for spying on and murdering his attractive female tenants. Gunther’s father was a Nazi, and now that he is grown, Karl kills to reconcile his intense shame with his overriding hatred of humanity. The women in his building die by the numbers as Gunther kills his way to the final girl.

Crawlspace would be completely unremarkable without Kinski, who lets his performance careen off the rails in his first scene and never looks back. No actor has ever looked as lewdly menacing spying on a half naked woman. Whether punishing himself by holding his hand over a gas stove or putting on makeup to go with his father’s Nazi uniform, Kinski’s intensity for the role doesn’t waver. He turns a ridiculous character in a laughable movie into a frightening, sadistic imp that somehow inspires actual chills.

Beyond Kinski, the rest of the performances never establish themselves outside of genre clichés. Partially redeemed by a few stylish kills, including a climactic chase scene through ductwork that has to be seen to be believed, Crawlspace is a short, brutish genre film with one terrifying performance that defies description.

–Axel Kohagen

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Favorite “Family Friendly” Horror: “Hocus Pocus” Review

Slasher Studios*Family Friendly Horror

My choice for favorite “family friendly” horror movie is the 1993 PG-rated film Hocus Pocus.

In the town of Salem, Washington there once lived three evil witch sisters. Winnie (Bette Midler), Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), and Mary Sanderson (Kathy Najimy). On one Halloween night, the sister lure one of the town’s children, Emily Binx, to their cottage, in hopes sucking the life out of her to gain back their youth. Emily’s older brother Thackery tries to come to her rescue, but in the end he is too late, and the sisters turned him into a black cat. The village people show up to the Sanderson house and ultimately hang the sisters, only after they vow to one day return for their revenge. 300 years later, Max Dennison (Omri Katz), and his family move to Salem. Max refuses to believe the stories he hears about the town. However, it is Halloween night, and after Max, his little sister Danni (Thora Birch), and Max’s crush Allison (Vinessa Shaw) visit the Sanderson house and end up resurrecting the 3 sisters, it is up to them, and the cat Binx to save the town’s children and put an end to these sisters once and for all.

Hocus Pocus was one of my favorite films as a kid. I can’t go a Halloween without watching it to this day. The movie is filled with fun characters and great performances. The three actresses who play the Sanderson sisters work so well together and definitely have some great one-liners. This movie is very family friendly with some great comedy, while still keeping it in the horror genre. Who would have thought a film about witches killing children would be a family movie? Hands down the best part of the movie is when the three sisters sing “I Put A Spell On You” and end up putting the town’s adults into a dance frenzy. I swear that song gets stuck in my head every time I watch it, and anytime I start singing it around someone, they know exactly what movie it’s from.

This film in my opinion, is the best family horror film out there. It provides enough fun for kids and adults, and is definitely one that all ‘90s kids know and will hopefully pass on to their kids or younger siblings. It’s a major classic in my book.

–Cody Landman

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Gritty & Grainy, “The Wanted” Delivers the Low Budget Horror Goods

Slasher StudiosWanted

The Wanted (produced by A Dream Awake Film) tells the tale of a young college co-ed who is in the need of some extra cash. Sounds pretty good, right!? Well…don’t get too excited. Our main girl, Marissa, ends up landing a babysitting job for a middle aged couple she has never met before. After being dropped off at the couples house by her pouty boyfriend, she and her new employers engage in a little chit chat before they head out for the night. Not long after Marissa settles in and begins her homework, eerie happenings begin to rattle her nerves.

This micro budget of a film was written and directed by Joshua Weixelman. Although the characters are well developed, the film does suffer due to the occasional subpar acting. Line delivery seems a bit forced, but using amateur actors is just another aspect of working in independent film. The acting really is no better or no worse than most of the horror movies to come out of the 70’s and 80’s. The look of the film itself will make or break the movie for you. The footage is a bit overexposed as the sky and windows and blown out white and the interior lighting is a bit flat. It gives the intentional look of a VHS tape that has been viewed one too many times. Once again, certain genre fans will love it…others might not be so pleased.

But, with a fairly low production budget, it is obvious Weixelman is a fan of the genre and did what he could to make this film ba all that it could be. With a modest running time of just 60 minutes, the far from superior resolution is easy to bear and we are actually presented with a VHS feel to the picture. Whether this is intended or not, I actually enjoyed the grain and this brought me back to the good old VHS days of our past.

If you are in the need of some independent horror and you have a free hour, pop in The Wanted. Keep an open mind and with a few laughs here and there, you may find that rare indy horror gem you have wanted!

The film can be purchased through RHR Home Video or contact the director Joshua Weixelman on Facebook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWv0vuMrC1c

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Tim’s Horror Tweet Reviews: “Deadly Species” (2002)

Slasher Studios*Bad Horror

A few days again I mentioned how we felt deeply sorry for Tim Schilling. FOUR, count em FOUR, one Teddyhead movies in a row with no end in sight. Today we have a review from the last movie from the dreaded Walmart 8 pack from hell entitled Deadly Species. It can’t be as bad as the rest..can it?

Thoughts before the film:
Should I be like everyone else and watch Friday the 13th or something different? And that something different is called Deadly Species, the last movie on that 8 DVD pack I’ve been struggling to finish. Thank god this is the last movie in the 8 pack. I can’t handle anymore bad movies.

Thoughts while watching:
0:03 Someone who digs for fossils would not have painted fingernails. Just no.
0:10 I bet these people are making up words, what the heck is a colusfakada? I don’t even know what they’re saying.
0:15 But why is there a piece of grass going across the lens.
0:24 You’re kidding me right? You were tying your shoe, you were standing ON the bag and you didn’t see it!?
0:29 Haha the name of the generator was Generac… Good old greeking.
0:34 I wish I could find the gates to hell next time I went digging for fossils.
0:37 There aren’t enough tweets in the world to explain just how wrong this movie is.
0:39 Woo 40 minutes in and we finally see the monster creature alien thing!
0:55 It’s always a good idea to shoot into the dark when you can’t even see the target.
0:57 Oh what’s wrong, you’re bored of staring at the computer screen? Don’t talk to me about being bored.
0:58 This just turned into a really bad porno.
1:03 They said the name! I didn’t think the movie would be corny enough to do but it did.
1:09 I like puppets better than CGI, at least this looks corny in the good way.
1:19 Drinking some water stopped this guy from turning into a monster. A lot of thought was put through this.

Final Verdict:
I’m probably one of like 5 people to actually watch ‪#DeadlySpecies‬, and I know why. I don’t think I have to explain myself.

To follow Tim on twitter: https://twitter.com/schillingt
To follow Slasher Studios on twitter: https://twitter.com/slasherstudios

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No Seconds Please: “Thankskilling” is Mean Spirited, Horror Junk

Slasher Studios*Bad Horror

I decided to watch ThanksKilling (2009) and do a review, which is proving to be somewhat of a frustration for me. There’s little more I can say about this movie other than I found it to be nothing too much more than an ugly, stupid movie. I admire it a little for how much I hate it, only because it’s most likely everything it was intended to be.

The opening shot in this movie is a boob, and the first line right before the first death in the movie is, “Nice tits, bitch,” which surely received a lot of positive responses. I can understand, as it’s a purely tasteless and highly respected quality for an opening scene for a film such as this.

My reaction to the opening scene was only to rub my tired old eyes and sigh.

The movie is only 70 minutes long (it took me three days to watch) and consists of college kids on holiday break being chased by a killer turkey. It’s a typical college movie kid lineup- the jock, the slut, the nerd, the “cool funny” kid, and the final girl.

Did I mention it took me three days to watch? I just don’t think that it’s entertaining enough for how shocking and mean-spirited it is. I’ve seen a lot of grotesque and offensive horror that I can respect and enjoy far more, just because it either had a point to it, or it was fun and entertaining. This movie does none of those for me. The shock, the gore, and the humor- all which are normally great elements to a fun horror movie- were all very tiresome and I felt that a lot of it was just unnecessary added-on junk to something already very junky.

I apologize to those who disagree with how unlovable I found this movie. Some of you who haven’t seen it might really enjoy it, and by all means, have fun with it! I sincerely hope you at least appreciate it more than I did.

–Catherine Kincannon

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